It's complicated
by gwladystoffee
Summary: "I dont know what im doing anymore Hermione. I'm so in love with you i can't think straight. Ever since we first kissed I can't think of anyone else. Don't let me go this time Hermione. Stay with me."
1. Chapter 1

This is it. I take a deep breath to calm myself down before me apparate to Harry's house. It's been about a year since I've seen him or any of my friends from school. I went travelling almost as soon as I could after the war. I couldn't handle the attention. Everywhere I went everyone seemed to recognize me, want something from me.

I didn't tell many people I was leaving, Harry, Ron and Ginny that's all. Ginny tried to convince me to stay. Harry understood and Ron was his usual self, not saying anything. He had retreated back into himself after the war and he had never tried to follow up what had happened between us in the chamber of secrets. I remember calling him out on it. I'd had enough I demanded he tell me what he wanted. Did he want me or not? He had stood there a look of utter bewilderment on his face before turning and leaving in the opposite direction to me. I left a week later it had been the last straw.

I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. The ministry had awarded us each a large amount of money for our help in the war. I felt disgusted at first had disputed taking it. It made me feel dirty like my only reason for helping in the war was the hope of getting money at the end. Nobody understood how I felt, not even harry. In the end Kingsley, the new minister of magic, had convinced me to take the money he told me to give it to the relief effort. So it had sat in my vault for two months before I decided to use it for myself. I'd always wanted to travel, see different muggle and magical cultures. What better time to do it?

My first stop had been to Viktor Krum in Bulgaria. He had begged me for years to visit him. We'd kept in touch throughout everything.

I stood outside the house for a minute bracing myself. We hadn't kept in touch very well. It was mainly my fault. I'm here because harry and Ginny are getting married. I should be here. I lifted my fist and I knocked. I waited hearing voices behind the door. When it opened I was stood there in utter shock. I must have knocked at the wrong house I was about to turn round and check I was in the right place then he spoke.

"Hello Granger." The blonde haired wizard said. He moved to the side motioning for me to come inside. Still speechless and unable to move I just stood there. Draco Malfoy had answered the door. "I knew this would happen." He said shaking his head to himself. "Gin!" He shouted.

At his shout Ginny popped her head round a corner. "Hermione your here!" She screamed as she ran at me I managed to take my eyes away from him just in time to see Ginny throwing herself at me. I managed to get myself together just in time to catch her. "It's been way too long." She said hugging me close. My eyes drifted back to Malfoy. Had I landed in a parallel universe? She pushed away and held me at arm's length. "You look fantastic? Doesn't she Draco?" That brought my gaze back to her. Draco? The look on my face must have spoken volumes because she whispered. "I'll tell you later." Then she raised her voice again. "Well Draco? Doesn't she look great?"

"As always." He said as if bored before making his way back into the house.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to her. Probably could have said something better seen as I hadn't seen her for a year but this had knocked me for six.

"He's Harry's best man." She said, with a straight face.

"I repeat, what the fuck?"

"It's a long story." She said. "Can we talk about it later? We should catch up better and Harry can't wait to see you."

"Fine but you're not weaseling you way out of this one Weasley." I smiled at her. "Shit I've missed you." I brought her into another hug.

"Wine?" She asked as I followed her into the house.

"Always." I laughed. "Where is Harry?"

"He had to nip into the ministry for an emergency meeting or something." She rolled her eyes. We reached the kitchen and she reached for two wine glasses. "White or red?"

"White. Please." I sat down at the table. "How's the quidditch going?"

She had signed for the holy head harpies not long after leaving school.

"Fantastic I love it. I got some good news the other day too." She handed me a glass with a huge grin on her face.

"And?"

"I got called up for England." She said.

"Ginny that amazing!" I jumped up and hugged her.

"What's amazing?" Malfoy said making his way into the kitchen and reached into the fridge grabbing a beer. He didn't even ask. He must feel comfortable here.

"My England call up." Ginny grinned.

"You still going on about that?" He said but I caught him give her a wink. He leaned against the counter. "What time we going to The Burrow?" He asked.

"What? You're coming too?" I said shocked.

"Obviously. I am the best man after all." He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Where's Ron?" I asked. I saw them both physically stiffen.

"Again a story for later." She said taking a bug gulp of wine.

"Seriously?" I said looking at the two of them. "You either tell me what's going on with Ron or you tell me why the fuck Malfoy is Harry's best man."

"Well we can't tell one without the other." Ginny said staring at her wine.

"This is unbelievable." I said shaking my head. "I have apparated into another fucked up dimension."

Just then harry came through the fireplace.

"Hermione!" He said when he saw me. He started walking over then something made him stop probably the tension. "What's wrong?"

I stood up and turned to harry. "I know I've been away a while and that's my fault, but harry what the hell is going on?"

"Ah right." He looked behind me at Malfoy and Ginny. "Gin will you tell Molly we're sorry but we'll be a bit late. I'm going to take Hermione the pub and try and catch her up."

"But Harry." Ginny began but Harry cut her off.

"She needs to know what she's going to walk in on Gin." OK that made me nervous. "We'll be an hour, hour and a half tops."

"Fine." She said but clearly still not happy. Harry walked over to her and kissed her.

"I'll make it up to you I promise." He said. "Plus I'm sure if Molly isn't happy Draco can cheer her up. He always does."

Harry laughed as he shook Malfoys hand and didn't the whole one arm man hug thing. "Not always." He laughed. "Remember the time George accidently set off his new invention in the kitchen. No one could stop Molly then."

"Oh Good Godric." Ginny laughed. "That was one of her worst episodes."

I stood back and watched them talk for a minute. I was feeling slightly dizzy watching them. It was disorienting watching them talk to each other like this.

"Right." Harry said bringing me back. "Let's go."

I turned and followed him without saying a word.

Ten minutes later we were sat in the pub with a pint each in front of us. "Ok Potter what the hell is going on?"

"Ok." I saw him take a deep breath. "After you left things started getting a little strange with Ron. None of us could figure it out for a while. Until we got a message from Tom in The Leaky Cauldron." He shifted in his seat I could tell this was hard for him. "He was drunk and getting rowdy. When George and I went to pick him up Tom told us he was there almost every day and it was getting worse."

Harry paused and took a sip of his drink. "That's when everything started to click in to place. Ron's mood swings and aggression it all came from drink." Harry just stared at the pint in front of him I didn't know what to say. "I should have seen it. I should have stopped it earlier but I was too preoccupied with Ginny and being and auror."

"This isn't your fault harry." I said putting my hand over his.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Anyway we all tried to help him but he always managed to get alcohol somehow. Then about a month after this all began we thought he'd turned a corner he seemed to be leveling out promised us he hadn't been drinking and we believed him." He sighed. "One day Ginny was in Diagon Alley with Luna and they went The Leaky Cauldron for lunch and Ron was there completely pissed. When he saw them he got angry Ginny said she could hardly even make out what he was saying. He got up in her face screaming at her he even pushed her to the floor. This is where Draco comes in. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure what would have happened. He stepped in and tried to calm Ron down. Ron tried to punch him but he wasn't quick enough and Draco managed to grab his arms and Luna managed to magically bind him after Draco told her to."

I couldn't believe this I sat there staring at him with my hand over my mouth utterly speechless. Harry continued.

"I thank Godric Draco was there and stepped in. Who knows how far Ron would have gone. Ginny doesn't talk about it but Luna said she was terrified she didn't know what to do." Harry finished his pint mine was still untouched. "Draco helped Ginny and Luna get Ron back to The Burrow. They gave him a sleeping draft and put him to bed. They had to he was still struggling against the bind. Ginny got in touch and I went home as soon as I could. I think I was just as shocked as you when I saw Draco at The Burrow it was such a strange scene. The girls were a mess Molly was still trying to calm them down. I had to get what happened from him. Ever since then we've got closer. Ginny has forgiven Ron she said it's not his fault but I still can't bring myself to completely forgive him."

"Shit harry." I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I should have been here."

"No you were exactly where you should have been. Traveling like you always wanted to." He hugged me. "Well now you'll be prepared anyway because he will be at The Burrow. Everyone sort of treads on eggshells around him."

I nod and down my pint in one this was some heavy news. "Do we know what drove him to drink?"

"No." Harry shook his head. "I guess he handled the war worse than we thought he did."

I should have been here. I should have stayed and stuck things out instead of running away. There was me running all over the world and my friends were going through this. What type if friend was I?

"Don't Hermione." Harry said. "I can see what's going through that head of yours. You didn't know what was going on you can't feel guilty for going."

I laughed. "You know me too well even after all this time."

"Some things will never change." He smiled before taking me into a hug. It felt good to be with him again.

"How is he now Harry?" I said Pulling back to look at him.

"Mostly good. Sometimes he has a bad day and it can get quite bad. You should be warned you might set him off. He's so temperamental these days."

"Are you sure I should go?" I didn't want to cause any trouble.

"Yes." He didn't hesitate. He stopped me before I could object. "It's best he see you now and kick off than at the wedding don't you think?"

"I suppose your right." I smiled at him. "I can't believe you're getting married already."

"Already?" He laughed. "I didn't see the point in waiting. I waited long enough to be with her."

"I missed you harry." Tears welling up again.

"Ditto Hermione." His hold tightened for a second before pulling away. "Are you ready for this? Molly is extremely excited to see you."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm scared, I'll admit it. After everything harry told me why wouldn't I be? We're stood outside the gate to the burrow. I watch as harry pushes the gate open and walks to the front door.

"you coming or what Hermione?" Harry called from infront of me. It jumped started me and I moved my feet, following him, slowly.

he pushed open the front door and she heard the familiar chaos coming from inside. It brought a smile to her lips. She was halfway to the door when a familiar woman pushed the door open.

"Hermione dear!" She called as she met me half way and pulled me into a hug. "We've missed you."

"I've missed you too Mrs. Weasley." This earnt me a light slap on the shoulder.

"you know to call me molly." She pulled away and took my face in her hands. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"Thanks molly." I could feel my blush rise over my cheeks.

"mum stop embarrassing her and let her get in the house. Plus I think something is burning."

"Oh no." She ran inside.

"Hermione granger."

"George weasley." I grin at him he looks no different. Same ginger haired lanky frame.

"good godric you look good woman." This earned a laugh from me.

"and you said your mum was embarrassing me."

"bring it in granger." He opened his arms for me and I willingly walked into them wrapping my own arms around his waist. "It's good to see you."

"you too." I give him one last squeeze before I pull away.

"you best make an appearence; everybody is waiting." He swung an arm to the side motioning for me to go first.

I take a deep breath and walk into the house. As I do the kitchen erupts with noise and cheers. Everyone stands up and comes to greet me. I notice there are two people who don't. Malfoy and Ron. Even Ginny comes and gives me another hug. My eyes drift to Ron. He has a look on his face I don't recognise. It's like a mix between anger and joy, it's strange. Malfoy is just standing leaning against the counter with a butterbeer in one hand and his other in hus pants pocket, just watching me as everyone buzzes around me.

for some reason it makes me uncomfortable but I can't take my eyes away from his and his eyes don't leave mine. That is until molly came bustling infront if me asking if I wanted a butterbeer. I nod yes. I wish there was something stronger but I know there won't be for Ron.

I'm sitting there through dinner catching up with everyone. all throughout dinner I feel Malfoy eyes on me. I don't know what it is but I refuse to look at him. I'm samdwhiched in between harry and Ginny who keep leaning behind me to hold hands and whisper to each other.

after dinner I need to get away for a minute it's been a long time since I was in a crowded room like this everyone so close. Sure she had been to parties and clubs but this was different. Everyone was so close and, I know it sounds wierd but, close. I hadn't been in a room with so much love since I left. It was kind of stifling.

so after dinner I made my excuses and said I need a walk. I had made it half way around the house and was about to walk away towards a near by lake when I hears a voice behind me.

"overwhelmed?"

"What do you want Malfoy?" I dont turn around I carry on walking.

he jogged to catch up with me. "Just seeing if your ok."

"I'm fine." I still refuse to look at him.

"you want some fire whiskey?" That's when I turn and look at him.

"youve got fire whiskey here?" I'm not sure if I'm appalled or happy.

"yup." He pulled out a flask from his back pocket. "Do you want some?"

I stare at him for a second before I grab it from his hand and unscrew the lid. I feel the burn and it feels good. "It's a good vintage." I hand the flask back and notice his eyebrows arch.

"you know fire whiskey?"

"Yes." I say walking away towards the lake again. He starts to walk along side me taking a swig himself. "I met a wizard in Germany who liked his fire whiskey. It's all he would drink I suppose I picked it up."

"you enjoyed your travels then?" He asked handing me the flask again.

"I did." I take another large sip. "But maybe I shouldn't have left. I should have been here. My friends needed me."

"I think they are stronger than you give them credit for." He smiled at me.

"not Ron. I just wish they had told me what was happening." I took another sup before handing the flask back.

"what? So you could come straight back home and end your trip?" He laughed. "They weren't about to do that when they knew how much you needed to get away."

"Ron needed me more." We had reached the lake and I sat on the floor looking out at the sun beginning to set. Malfoy sat beside me. It suddenly hit me who i was talking so openly with. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I was invited." He can't be this obtuse, can he?

"you know what I mean. How have you ended up as Harry's best man?" I look at him. He's resting his elbow on one of his propped up knees.

"I helped gin with Ron in the pub that time. When we got him back everyone was fussing around him they got him to bed and next thing you know molly's hugging me and asking me to stay for tea." He rubbed his hand along his face. "I love the way they are so close. They sat around the dinner table and acted like I was a friend not a Malfoy. Harry took me aside and we talked. Next thing you know I'm invited to tea almost every Sunday and it's like I'm part of the family."

I watch him as he talked he had a smile on his face as he talked about the weasleys. "What about your family?"

He laughed. "They don't like my new direction in life let's put it that way." He took a large swig from the flask now.

"I'm sorry." And I was no one should have to go without their family.

"it's ok." He looked at me then. "You do look good granger. That year away did you good."

there was something in his eyes. I felt myself blush and I quickly looked away. "A lot can happen in a year."

"true." I could feel him still looking at me. "We should proably get back."

"your right." He cleared his throat. He stood up before I did and offered me his hand. I look at it for a moment before I take it. The bit of fire whiskey has made my head a bit fuzzy. I'm loosing my touch. I wobble slightly and he pulls me to him to steady me and my hands automatically press against his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

i look up at him my breathing suddenly rapid. He looks down and brushes his fingers lightly across my cheek as he moves a piece of hair away from my cheek. I swear he's about to kiss me and I don't know how I feel about it. But I'm saved.

"Hermione? Draco?" It's Ginny. I push back away from him as fast as I could. I throw a quick glance his way and, is that hurt or confusion on his face. Because that's what I feel, utter confusion. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I needed some air." I say. "Malfoy also had something a little strong than butterbeer."

"ah Draco's flask." She laughed. "Any left?"

He smiled and handed her the flask. "Not much, granger here drinks like a fish."

"not hermione." Ginny laughed. "The Hermione I know couldn't handle her drink."

"a lot changes in a year." I look at Malfoy because we spoke at the same time. I'm shocked but he laughs.

"ok that was wierd." Ginny says. "Anyway harry, George and I are going die a drink if you guys fancy it."

"I'm in." I say without hesitation.

"me too." Malfoy said.

we entered the leaky cauldron and I gasped. "What the?" I'd stopped dead in my tracks.

"I know right?" Harry laughed from by my side. "Hannah abbot took over a few months back she's completely changed it."

"I can see that." I looked around taking in my surroundings. It was a far cry from the old dingy pub it used to be. Everything was modern. Shining surfaces and neon lights. There was even a stage and a dance floor.

"here." I looked down and saw a glass with fire whisky in it. I look up and see Malfoy looking down at me. "Big change isn't it?"

"you can say that again." I laugh.

"big change isn't it?" I give him a look. "Sorry that was stupid. That's the best she has. And she has a fine collection."

"everything has changed." Im beginning to feel to feel slightly melancholy.

"Hey. No sad face. Were here to celebrate you being home. There's a band on tonight."

"any good?" I ask trying to keep my mind away from all the changes.

"not bad actually. You remember theo not?"

"Slytherin from our year?" I ask and he nods.

"it's his band."

"Theodore nott has a band?" I look at him. "And they're good?"

"yup and that's not the only thing." I look at him, waiting. "He's seeing Luna."

"Luna as in Luna Lovegood?" He nods and I down my fire whiskey in one go. It is good. So much for keeping my mind from changes.

"yeah and if you think potter and gin are ridiculously I'm love, wait till you see them two. It's disgusting." He laughed. "I also know he bought a ring last week."

"ok I need more drink." I turn and head to the bar leaving Malfoy standing there. I don't look up when I reach the bar I just say my order. "three of your best fore whiskey please."

"Well well if it isn't Hermione granger." I look up to find the smiling face of Hannah abbot.

"Hey Hannah." I smile. "Youve done wonders with this place."

"Thanks it's my baby." She laughed as she turned to the back wall where the fire whiskey was. She places the three glasses infront of me. "Ice?"

"One cube in each please."

"Why three? The only other person I know who drinks my top shelf is Malfoy." She laughed.

"one is for him the others for me." I take the first glass and sink it in one. "Struggling a bit with all this change."

"yup there's has been a lot of that." Her attention was taken by someone else. "Speak to hermionen Hermione."

I take the two glasses and look for Malfoy. Seriously this whole thing is messing with my head. I see everyone sitting at a booth not far from the stage and head over.

I sit next to Harry and push one of the glasses to Malfoy. He grabs it and lifts it my direction to say thanks.

The next thing I know I'm engulfed in a bush of blonde hair. Luna.

"Hermione!" She was hugging me so tightly my air supply was nearly cut off. "I'm so glad your home."

"Thanks Luna." I manage to squeeze out. She finally let go and I take a deep breath.

"Wait till you hear Theo's band Hernione. They are so good." She jumped and clapped her hands on the spot. "My Theo plays the guitar and sings."

"That's great Luna." I take a sip of my fire whiskey. "How long have you been together?"

"Almost a year." Her grin almost split her face in two. "I'm so lucky Hernione."

She danced off then. Wow, I mimed to Malfoy. He nodded at me.

I watched as the band set up with Luna helping. They couldn't go five minutes without bouncing over to him for a kiss. I shook my head and turned back to the rest of the table.

To my astonishment I didn't have a bad time. I actually enjoyed myself. But I do have to say maybe it was the drink. I danced with everyone even Malfoy at some point I think. And so my first day back wasn't so bad in the end even with all the news and shocks I'd had today.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up to a sore head. I know, no pity it was self inflicted. But I can't bring myself to regret it. I had a fab night.

I'm staying with Harry and Ginny till I find a place of my own. I make my way to the kitchen and the smell of coffee.

"That smells amazing." I say before I even pass through the door. Then to my shock Malfoy is stood there. For crying put loud the man is everywhere. "What are you doing here?"

"Harry forger to mention it to you? And come to think of it you don't remember last night?" He laughed.

Shit I think to myself what the hell happened? I try and think back to last night but nothing is coming back to me. The last thing I remember is dancing with Ginny.

"Don't worry nothing happened with us if that's where you going." He laughed a again holding out a cup for me.

I take it and take sniff before tasting, perfect. "Well?" I prompt.

"Oh right. I'm staying here till I find a job and a place of my own." I just look at him. He doesn't need a job his family is rich. "Shit I keep forgetting you don't know everything." He said reading my thoughts. "My parents cut me off."

I almost choke on my coffee. "What?"

"Let's just say my parents don't approve of my choice of company." He casually took abother sip of his coffee. "They gave me an ultimatum and I chose this disfunctional lot."

"You chose them over your family? Why?" I couldn't think why he would do something like that.

"It wasn't long before I felt like I belonged in this group more than I did with my own family." He moved at sat at the table. "I hadn't believed in what my parents do in a long time even before the war ended. Possibly long before it even started."

I sit down opposite him. Nursing my coffee as I think about what he's told me. I now know I can't stay here for too much longer if Malfoy is here too. I decide to lighten the mood.

"You were right about Luna and Theo. It was disgusting."

He laughed at that. "Yeah I thought I should warn you." He stood up then. "I'm starving are you? Do you want breakfast?"

I couldn't help it I was. "I could eat." I tried to hold my enthusiasm for the idea of food back but I had a feeling I'd failed by the grin on his face.

"Full English?"

"Sounds like heaven." I stand up. "I'll just grab a shower."

I saw him nod as he rummaged in the fridge. I went to my shower with the idea of food running through my head. My stomach felt like I hadn't ate in a week. I tried to push the fact it was Malfoy cooking my breakfast out of my head. It was still wierd.

The shower felt good. Scrubbing myself clean. I jump out and get dressed in a tshirt and jeans. I tie my still wet hair up into a bun on top of my head. Then I head downstairs to the smell of bacon. Delicious.

I walk into the kitchen just as Malfoy is plating the breakfast. Talk about full English. I notice bacon, eggs, hash browns, mushroom, tomatoes and beans. There was toast already on the table. My mouth watered as he put a plate in front of me.

"Enjoy." He said.

"This looks amazing." I dig in straight away. It is delicious. "Wow."

I hear him chuckle as I dig in again. I'm finished pretty fast and I'm drinking the new cup of coffee i wasn't even aware Malfoy had left me.

"I gotta say that was just what I needed." He just nods at me with food in his mouth. "When will Ginny and Harry be back?"

"Ginny at about three. She's got training. Harry? I have no idea it varies." He digs into the remains of his breakfast. "What are your plans for the day?"

"I thought I would start looking for a place to live." I finish my coffee. "I have a meeting with Kingsley later this week for a job at the ministry that I need to prepare for too."

"Fantastic." He laughed. "I've been looking for a job for like six months and you come back and not even a day later you have one."

"I dont have a job yet." I say defensively. "It's an interview."

"Right because you won't get it." I can hear the sarcasm drip from his voice. I stand up.

"Thanks for breakfast Malfoy. But I'll be out of your hair now." I walk out.

"Granger wait!" I hear him call. I do t stop though. Frankly it's better this way. Now I can remember what he used to be like and not this strange person he claims he is now.

I spend most of the day searching onine for a place to stay. I make a short list of a few places. I call them up and I have a fee viewing's for tomorrow. It's a mix of muggle and wizard housing. The agents for very excited when I told them I expected to buy outright.

I don't even realis the time when there is a knock on my door. I stiffen expecting Malfoy. "Come in."

I breath a sigh of relief. "Ginny."

"Hey. What have you been up to?"

"Searching for somewhere to live." I smile.

"You know you don't have to rush right?" She sat on the end of the bed. "We have plenty of room."

"I realise that. Especially when I ran into Malfoy this morning and he told me he was staying here too. Thanks for the heads up."

"Shit." She clasped a hand to her mouth. "I forgot. But didn't you two come home together?"

"I dont remember." I throw my hands up and lie down on the bed.

"You should really get to know him better Hernione. He's not who you think he is." She put her hand on my leg. "Were just going to order pizza tonight. You in?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "I'll be down in a bit."

"Ok. You want a drink?" She said getting up and heading for the door.

"Alcoholic? Hell no." I hear her laughing as she heads down the stairs.

I lay there for a few more minutes. Thinking. I had only been away for a year and it seemed as though every aspect of life here had changed. Nothing was the same anymore. Apart from Ginny and Harry. It was messing with my head. But maybe I should try and embrace it. Isn't that way I left in the first place, for change? I don't know if the changes here are more than I bargained for though. I guess I should suck it up and give it ago.

This whole Malfoy thing was the one I couldn't get my head round though. But surely if everybody I know has forgiven him and embraced the new Malfoy he can't be that bad. Right? Only one way to find out I suppose.

I make my way downstairs still feeling the effects of last night. I make my way to the voices coming from the living room. Harry and Ginny are sitting on the couch, Ginnys legs over Harry's.

"Hey there." Harry smiled as I sat on the other couch. "How you feeling today?"

"Still feeling last night is how." I tuck my legs under me. "I dont know why I don't usually get hangovers."

"Maybe it was all the fire whiskey." He laughed.

"No I've drank more than that before in Germany." I say.

"Germamy?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. I met this wizard who only drank fire whiskey and I kind of developed a taste myself."

Just then Malfoy walks in with a glass in his hand. "Here." He says holding it out to me. "Gin said your still feeling fragile. This should help."

I dont know why but I still feel wary. It's going to take a while before I feel anything else I think.

"Hermione drink it its fantastic. It will take your hangover away in a few sips."

I take the glass and take a few gulps Ginnys encouragement making me try it. She's right too a few sips and I feel better.

"Thanks Malfoy. I do feel better." I hand him back the glass when I've finished.

"Anytime." He walks out the room and I turn to Ginny and Harry who are giving me identical looks.

"What?" I say confused.

"Do you really have to be so curt towards him?" Ginny asks.

"What did I do?" I'm genuinely confused now.

"The way you say Malfoy." She says Malfoy with a sneer. "Can't you say Draco?"

"I dont know if I'm there yet. It's is a big shock for me. I still remember everything he did to me, us back then." I sigh.

"So do we Hermione." Harry said. "We've just gotten to know him now and forgiven him for what he did in the past. You should give him a chance."

"I'm trying. I am." I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "It will just take a while."

"We get that. Just don't let your old memories of him taint your the new ones. Ok?"

"I'll try." I shrug and play with my hands I feel like a school kid again.

"Right what are we watching tonight?" Ginny asks.

"Anything but another chick flick." Malfoy says as he walks in and sits beside me.

"You know you love them. I don't know why you try to deny it." She says reaching for her tea.

"I'm a man, Weasley. I like car chases and fights." He laughs winking at her.

"What did you have in mind then?" She asks looking at a pizza menu.

"Whatever you want Gin. You know I can't argue with you." He laughs.

"Cause you can't win." Harry laughs.

"True." Ginny grins.

I laugh too. I can't help it the ease of the conversation take effect on me. I catch the menu Ginny throws my way and open it up. Malfoy leans closer to look and my breath catches. I don't know what it is but he smells familiar. My eyes flutter closed as i take it in. It's strange and it confuses me for a moment.

"I dont know why your looking Draco. You always get the same thing." Ginny laughs.

"Maybe I fancy a change." He leans closer and his hand brushes mine when he tilts the menu towards him to get a better view. It leaves a tingling on my hand. What the hell is happening here? I push the menu away and towards him. Even though I haven't chosen yet.

"You picked?" He asked.

"Um no. You pick first." I stutter out hoping noone notices.

"You want to share something. I always leave leftovers and Harry and Ginny always share."

I look at him shocked. I'm that shocked in fact I speak with out thinking. "Yeah sure whatever."

"What do you fancy?" He says still looking at the menu.

"Whatever. You pick. I'm not fussy."

"Ok." He stands up and gets what Harry and Ginny want. "I'll call them up now."

I watch as he makes his way out the room and shake my head trying to dislodge the the wierd thoughts I was having.

The night went fast. Malfoy had chosen well with the food too which kind of depressed me for some reason.

The film we had been watching hadn't even finished when Ginny had fallen asleep on Harry's lap.

"I'm gonna take her up to bed." He laughed. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Harry." I said stifling a yawn myself.

Malfoy and I watched the end of the film in an awkward silence. I couldn't have got myself further away from him on the couch I was squashed up against the opposite arm to him. The film was showing the end credits when he spoke.

"It's gonna take you a while to get used to me isn't it?" He wasn't even looking at me.

"Yes." I whispered no point in lying.

"I hope it doesn't take too long." He looked at me then. His elbows we're on his knees. "I'd like it if we could be friends before the wedding. Ya know best man and maid of honor have to dance together."

"I know. It's just..." How do I describe it?

"Yeah I know I get it." He sighed. "I've done a lot of shitty stuff especially to you. I'm sorry for that Hermione."

"Thank you." What else could I say?

"You probably don't believe me and I don't blame you." He leant back on the couch then.

"No I do." And it was true I do believe he's sorry. "I just need time to let it all sink in. It's overwhelming."

"Ok." He smiled then. "So tell me what your interview is for."

"The department of international magical cooperation." I start to relax a little bit. "I made quite a few contacts on my travels."

"How did you manage that?" He made himself more comfortable turning himself to look at me. "I mean I presume you only spent a few weeks in each place."

"Well apart from Bulgaria I had to port key into each ministry. I seem to be known wherever I go." I laugh to myself. "I got invited to all kinds of events. Some I went to, some I didn't."

"Bulgaria hey?" He cocked an eyebrow at me. "You see Viktor Krum?"

"Yes. He's the reason I went there first." I look down at my hands and fiddle with them.

"How was it?" I'm sure he can pick up on my uneasiness.

"Fine." I dont really want to go into details.

"Just fine?" He's pushing it now. I take a deep breath.

"We didn't exactly part on the best of terms. Ok?" I practically bite at him.

"Why not?"

"Seriously?" He just shrugs at me. "We were seeing each other while I was there and he wanted me to stay there, but I couldn't, I needed to move on. Happy?"

"No." I look at him expecting more questions. I really don't want to talk about it, my split with Viktor still felt raw. I felt tears prick my eyes and look away from him. "Meaning, why would I be happy you were so obviously hurt? Are still hurting."

"It does still hurt. I experienced a lot with him." Including losing my virginity I think. "I wish things had ended better. We haven't spoke since I left."

"I'm sorry Hermione." He said and I could here the sympathy in his voice. I don't like it.

"Why? Its not your fault." I say. "I'm ruined for other men after him." I say it as a joke but at the same time I can't help think it might be true.

"I hope not." He's serious I can see it in his eyes. "That would be a true tragedy. You should forget about him move on."

I don't know whether to laugh or run. For some reason I don't want to do either. For some reason I want to lean forward and see if it is true to see if another man can make me feel the way he did.

Silence fills the air. Were both trying to figure out what do to. He breaks the spell first.

"We should be heading to bed." He quickly stands up. I watch confused as he takes his wand out and our left overs vanish. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I mumble still sat there. I haven't moved. What the hell just happened?

I berate myself for feeling disappointed nothing happened. Then I berate myself for thinking about it more than I should. I shouldn't feel that way. Then I think back and who can blame him I just told him I was ruined for other men because of Viktor. What man in their right mind would want to try something after that?

Hermione Jean Granger, I think to myself, it's only Malfoy. Get over it. And with that I head to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

I can't sleep I can only think about my time with Viktor.

 _I remember thinking I'd made a mistake when I was at the ministry looking at my port key. I almost didn't get my hand to it in time. It was a reaction to the glow rather than the want to go at that point. The glow made me panic and I grabbed it without thinking. I felt the pull behind my belly button and a small pang of regret raced through me. It wasn't long before I felt the spinning lessen and I looked down to see green grass below me. I landed with a soft thump and looked around me. No one was there. I ran my hands over my clothes as a wave of panic shot through me. What if he had forgotten? What if I had the date wrong? Just as I was contemplating what to do next I heard a breathless voice call from behind me._

 _'Her my own ninny!' I turned to see Viktor running towards me. An instant smile formed on my lips. My regret, my panic left me almost immediately replaced by almost pure joy. Why had I put this off so long? 'Viktor!' I called back. I jogged as fast as I could with my backpack bouncing on my back. As soon as he reached me he picked me up and spun me around with a laugh._

 _'It is good to see you.' He said putting me back on the floor. 'You look better than I remember.'_

 _'Thanks you too.' And it was true he was big before, now he had grown a few more inches and added muscle too. He had signed for a Bulgarian quidditch team last year and it was obviously working for him. His short black hair was in the same style I remember and his full lips looked just as kissable. He wore a black t-shirt that clung to his chest, and jeans. I balanced myself with my hands on his chest I could feel his muscles beneath my hands and I quickly pushed myself away under the pretense of adjusting my backpack._

 _'Let me.' He said and before I could object he had taken the backpack from my shoulders and had swung one of the straps over his arm. 'Follow me.' He smiled at me before throwing in a wink. I laughed and followed. We spent that first night in his flat. Yes his flat. It awed me that he seemed so grown up. I never realized how naive I was back then. He dazzled me with his maturity and the fact he was a really good cook. Compared to all the other boys I had known just the simple things had me swooning. Like I said he was an amazing cook, he cooked for me that first night and he was tidy. I know your laughing at me but the only other boys a really knew where Harry and the Weasley's and they were far from tidy. His flat was quite big. It was the penthouse, obviously with the professional quidditch player thing, the windows over looked the city it was quite beautiful. This is where he found me after he had finished cleaning the dishes, he refused to let me help. He handed me a glass of wine._

 _'The view is amazing Viktor. You've done well for yourself.' He shrugged._

 _'I like what I do. It's a bonus I get paid well.' He smiled._

 _'Your English is coming along great.' I laughed "I bet you could even say my name properly now.'_

 _'And where would be the fun in that?' He laughed._

 _I took a sip of wine suddenly nervous to be alone with him. I had never expected to be this attracted to him. I thought after all this time only our friendship would have survived but no the fizzle of attraction I had felt back then had turned into a tiny blaze. Every time he touched me he stoked it._

 _'Let me show you we here you'll be sleeping.' He tilted his head to the right before walking away picking up my backpack on the way. We walked through a small corridor passing two rooms opposite each other. And headed to the room at the end. He pushed it open to revel a beautiful room with a four poster bed as the center piece a wall of windows faced me, the setting sun spilling through them putting a beautiful orange glow around the room it was breathtaking. He walked in past me and put my backpack on the bed._

 _'This is usually my room but it's the nicest so I'll leave it for you.'_

 _'It's beautiful Viktor.' I said walking over to the bed. 'But I can't take your room off you the spare room will be fine.'_

 _'I also thought you might like that it has its own bathroom too.' He smiled at me. I opened my mouth to argue again but he stopped me. 'You will sleep here no argument.'_

 _'Ok' I said a little taken aback by his force._

 _'I'll leave you to clean up I'll be outside.' With that he turned and left me._

 _'Wow' I said to myself as I walked over the windows everything bathed in the soft orange glow. I grinned to myself finally happy that I had come. I took a quick shower and changed into a pajama tank top and shorts and made my way back to Viktor. He'd changed too. I stopped dead in my tracks taking him in. I swallowed the sudden lump that had seemed to form instantly. He was there in a pair of jogging bottoms and nothing else. He hadn't noticed me yet and I took the opportunity to ogle some more. He was stretching his arms above his head his eyes closed. My eyes drifted to his torso and oh wow. All his muscles were pulled taut and I swear my mouth watered. His pants we're hung low on his hips and I could see the v of muscle that lead downwards. I swallowed again. I must have been daydreaming for a while because the next thing I knew Viktor was calling my attention. 'Herm my own ninny?' I looked up and he had an amused grin on his face. 'Are you ok?'_

 _'Um, yes fine, sorry.' I could feel the heat of my blush rising._

 _'Should I put a shirt on?' His grin widened._

 _'No no' I swallowed. "It's fine.' I was only half lying it would be easier if he did but then that immaculate body would be covered up. The worst thing was I could swear he knew it too._

 _He chuckled and walked to the kitchen. 'Do you want anything?'_

 _'Just a water please.' I watched him walk to the fridge and grab a small bottle. He handed it to me. 'Thanks.' He nodded. All of a sudden I felt awkward. I played with the label on my bottle. "Um I'll just go to bed then.'_

 _'Лека нощ.' I raised my eyebrows at him. He laughed again. 'Sorry goodnight.' He moved toward me and I tensed when he leaned forward. For a second I thought he would kiss me. He did but on my cheek. 'Sweet dreams I think you English say.'_

 _'Night Viktor.' I smiled and practically ran back to my room._

 _The next few days Viktor showed me around some of the sights near where he lived. It was great, we had a laugh. One night Viktor took me to his favorite restaurant. I had too much wine. I was giggly, I hate it when I'm giggly. We both practically stumbled through his front door laughing. He had to catch me when I almost fell. He brought me close to his chest. Wrapping his arms around me. Suddenly we weren't laughing. Viktor moved his hand and cupped my cheek. 'Красив' He whispered. I had no idea what he was saying but at that moment I didn't care. I leaned my head into his hand. His thumb grazed my bottom lip and my eyes fluttered closed. I wanted this, every fiber of me did. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I watched as he came closer. Then his lips were on mine. I moved my arms to around his neck my hands pushing him closer. He moved one hand from my hip to my lower back spreading his hand pushing me closer to him while his other hand cupped the back of my neck tilting my head up giving him better access. A moan escaped my mouth and he ran his tongue along my lower lip asking for entry. I gave it to him only too willing. I met his tongue with mine and I heard his own groan rumble through his chest. I'd never been kissed like this before, not that I had that much experience, I threw myself into it. I brought is lower lip into my mouth grazing it with my teeth. A growl escaped him and he moved quickly, before I knew it he had me pinned against the door his hands either side of my head._

 _He brought his lips to my neck kissing and sucking lightly. A sigh escaped me. He felt so good. I could feel he was enjoying himself too. He moved the strap of my thin red top down my shoulder following his fingers with his lips. He kissed my lips again. Putting his hands on my hips. He broke away putting his forehead to mine._

 _'Дяволите Hermioninny.' He placed another light kiss on my lips. 'If we carry on I won't be able to stop.' He growled._

 _'Maybe I don't want you to.' I said my confidence boosted by the wine most likely. It hadn't escaped my notice he had a better grip of my name._

 _'I'm not going to take you after so much drink.' He kissed me again obviously trying to take the sting out of his rejection. 'Tell me something.' I nodded. 'Have you ever?'_

 _It wasn't hard for me to know what he was asking and my answering blush must have been enough I couldn't look at him. 'When not so much wine is involved and you're ready. I'd be honored.' He whispered. I swallowed._

 _He ran his hand down my cheek and kissed me again. My body reacting, my heart racing once more._

 _'We should go to bed I have practice tomorrow.'_

 _I nodded licking my lips. Watching him walk away. He was like that id noticed he didn't hang around. I don't know what possessed me but before I knew it the word were out of my mouth. '_

 _'Stay with me tonight?' I regretted it almost immediately. He stopped in his tracks. Turning to look at me. 'Forget it.' I said pushing myself off the door. 'It was silly.' I walked with my head bowed, embarrassed. As I was walking past him he grabbed my arm and spun me to him._

 _'Of course I will.' He said. 'I'll just shower.' He kissed my forehead and headed for the other bathroom. I did the same I ran to my room and the bathroom there I showed quickly and brushed my teeth. After I'd dressed in my custom shorts and tank I came out to find Viktor already waiting on the bed wearing only his boxers. Oh good Godric I thought the man is a God surely._

 _I made my way over and climbed into the bed he joined me under the covers. He pulled me too him so we were spooning, my back to his front. He nuzzled my neck kissing lightly sending shivers down me. I could feel his hard muscles against my back. He kissed my shoulder before whispering in my ear. 'Сън сега красив.' Thankfully he translated for me. 'Sleep now beautiful.' And to my utter shock I did._


	5. Chapter 5

_I woke up to an empty bed the next morning. I got up and made my way to the kitchen there was a note there from Viktor he had left for practice and didn't want to wake me. The note made me laugh. His verbal English had improved but his written? Not so much. Everything was spelt phonetically._

 _I explored the rest if the apartment. Found a gym at the opposite side to bedrooms. I smiled to myself. I could do with a workout._

 _After an hour I am feeling better. Viktor's gym is well equipped. I head to the shower and clean myself off. I suddenly realize how thirsty I am._

 _Safe in the knowledge Viktor Isn't home I walk to the kitchen in just a towel wrapped around me. My wet hair loose. I open the fridge and take out a bottle of water. When I close the fridge I jump and clutch my towel closer. Viktor was stood there._

 _He was looking at me with a look I'd never seen before. Now I recognize it as hunger. For me. It made me swallow._

 _"Viktor. I wasn't expecting you home yet." I say lightly._

 _"My coach let me go early." He moved forward a few steps. "What are you doing?"_

 _"Just getting some water. I hope you don't mind I used your gym." I rush out._

 _He moves closer so he's only inches away. "No. I mean why are you walking around in just a towel?"_

 _"I took a shower." My heart is beating. "I was thirsty I didn't think you would be home."_

 _He was silent for a moment, just standing there. I was about to ask if he was ok before he kissed me. Gentle at first growing in heat._

 _"You're testing my self-control." He said breaking away. Panting just like me._

 _"You don't need it Viktor." Where was this bravery coming from? I reached up on my tip toes he was so tall and pressed my lips to his._

 _He let a noise like growl free from his throat and he pushed me back into the counter. His hands exploring the skin that was showing. His fingers sent shock waves through me. He moved his kisses along my jaw and down my neck nipping lightly._

 _I took a deep breath and dug up some more courage then I unwrapped myself from the towel and let it fall to the floor._

 _Viktor took his lips from my neck and stepped back taking me in. It took nearly all my self-control not to suddenly cover myself up. His eyes ran over me his chest heaving. He was silent and I was beginning to think he didn't like what he saw. Then he lurched forward taking my lips again._

 _"Hermioninny." He whispered against my lips._

 _His hands moved around me. Burning me with his touch. One of his hands cupped my breast and I let out a shocked moan. He felt good._

 _Suddenly he reached behind me picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. With my arms around his neck I kiss his jaw line nipping his ear lobe. I'm faintly aware were moving. Then I let put a squeal as I practically throws me on the bed. I watch him take his shirt off and my mouth waters again._

 _He climbs over me and I run my hands over his chest. After a second he pushes my hands away and kisses me. He moves his kisses lower and my hands are tuning through his short hair._

 _'Oh Viktor.' I moan I can't help it._

 _His kisses move all over my body and my back arches involuntarily pushing me closer to him. I'm concentrating on his mouth so much I forget about his hands until I feel his fingers between my thighs. I let out a noise that sounds half moan half growl._

 _It's not long before I feel myself ready to explode._

 _'Viktor.' I cry._

 _He makes his way back up to my lips his fingers still working their magic. My arm wrap around his neck as he kisses me and I'm climbing higher._

 _"You can let go now baby." He whispers and that's it. I'm screaming his name as I climax._

 _He kisses me as I come down and when I eventually open my eyes he's smiling at me._

 _"I want you Viktor." I say because I do I need him now. It's that bad I'm ready to beg if that's what it takes._

 _"Are you sure?" He asks placing a light kiss in my lips._

 _"Yes. Please Viktor." There it is I'm begging. Lord I need some control._

 _"Seen as you ask so nicely." He chuckled and I'm too turned on to be offended._

 _He moves off me and removes his pants. He springs free and I gasp suddenly nervous again. Get it together Granger I tell myself as he climbs over me again._

 _He kisses me for a while trying to make me relax and soon it works. I kiss him back. His hands roam my body and I know I'm ready. I gasp as he fills me and I feel a sharp pain but it's gone almost as soon as I felt it. He begins to move slowly at first bringing all the nerves inside me to life. His pace quickens and I bringing my hips up meeting him._

 _I feel myself building again my nails are digging in his back but I can't stop it. I feel him tense above me and I know he must be close too._

 _It's not long before I explode around him and he follows shortly after. I'm pretty sure I've marked his back. He leans down and kisses me lightly._

 _"Are you ok?" He breathes. All I can do is nod._

 _My breathing starts to steady and I smile up at him. He smiled back and I bring my mouth up to capture his. "Wow." I breathe and he chuckles._

 _He lays on his side and brings me close. We lay like this for a while his hand tracing circles on my back._

 _"I'll run you a bath." He says getting up suddenly._

 _"I'm fine Viktor." I say sitting up myself._

 _"I want to." He says kissing me quickly as he runs into the bathroom._

 _I suddenly feel self-conscious and I look around the room spotting a robe I throw it on as I hear the water from the bath start to run and Viktor comes out._

 _"Sorry." He mumbles running his hands over his hair. I'm about to ask what for when he hands me a small vile with a light pink potion inside. "You need to take this."_

 _"Oh no don't be sorry." I uncork the vile and down the potion in one. Contraceptive potion. I feel like an idiot not remembering it myself._

 _"Your bath should be ready now."_

 _"Thanks." I head awkwardly to the bathroom. Viktor doesn't follow. I take off my robe and step in, it's perfect._

 _I'm not in the bath long before Viktor knocks on the door before pushing it open. He has a glass of wine in each hand. He passes one to me._

 _"Can I join you?" He asks and I nod._

 _I move forward and he sits behind me. The bath must be magically enlarged because no way both of us could have fitted together in a normal bath. His hands rub my shoulders and it feels amazing._

 _That was our first time together. It certainly wasn't our last either. It was a passion filled month where we could hardly be I'm each other's company without tearing each other's clothes off._

 _It was about a month after I first got there I realized I needed to move on. Keep travelling. If I didn't I knew I would have stayed here forever. Fallen deep in love with Viktor. I didn't want to leave him but I knew I had to._

 _I remember his face when I told him I was going to carry on travelling. Full of hurt and shock._

 _"Are you not happy?" He asked._

 _"I am Viktor but I need to keep travelling." I said. "Keep seeing the world."_

 _"I am not enough."_

 _"It's not that Viktor." I shake my head. "It's just something I have to do."_

 _He put his head in his hands. I bite my lip trying to keep my resolve._

 _"Stay for me." He says looking at me eyes full of hope._

 _"I can't." I whisper._

 _He stands up quickly making me jump. He starts pacing across the room._

 _"You can't do this." His hands in his hair again. He stops and looks at me. "I love you. You can't leave me."_

 _I'm shocked at this. It must show as well because he's on his knees in front of me his arms wrapping around me._

 _"You can't be shocked." He moves his hands to my face cupping it. "I think it happened as soon as I saw you on that hill."_

 _I feel a tear run down my cheek. I think I love him too or I'm very close to. It's one of the reasons I have to leave._

 _He leans up and kisses me and I can't help kissing him back._

 _"You love me too. You have to stay." I can hear the pleading in his voice._

 _"I can't." It's a whisper. I don't know how much more I can take before I give in._

 _He stands up again making me jump once more. He flips his coffee table over and I flinch away._

 _"If you love me you'd let me do this." I say._

 _"If you leave I never want to see you again." His back is facing me and I can see his shoulders rise with each breath he takes._

 _"Viktor please don't do this." I cry tears flow freely done my cheeks now._

 _"You're breaking my heart." His shoulders sag. "Leave as soon as you can."_

 _That's all he says before he heads to the door and leaves._

 _I sit there alone. Crying. It must be at least an hour before I can get myself to move. I go to my bedroom and pack my bag. I wash my face in the sink hoping to hide my tears._

 _I make my way through to the living room and see the table thrown half way across the room. I take out my wand and put the room straight. I notice his sunglasses on the floor. Ray ban aviators. It's stupid, and I don't know why I do it, but I take them._

 _I leave then. I use the fireplace to floo to the Bulgarian ministry to arrange a port key to Paris._

 _Paris is familiar to me after visiting with my parents more than once. It's what I need right now. I let the ministry there find me a place to stay and I'm strong until I'm alone. That's when I break down and sob uncontrollably into my pillow._


	6. Chapter 6

I know I won't be able to sleep now. Too many emotions running through my head. This isn't a new development. It's been awhile since I was able to sleep through the night. I get up and make my way back downstairs. I'll find some late night cheesy film to watch.

I make a cup of tea in the kitchen before I make my way to the living room.

I'm half way through some strange thriller when the door opens. It's Ginny.

"Shit, did I wake you?" I ask.

"No." She yawned. "I woke up for a wee and heard the TV."

"Charming." I laugh.

She sits next to me and puts her head on my shoulder.

"Are you ok?" She asks.

"Yeah I'm good. I was just talking to Malfoy before I went to bed and it brought back some memories I don't really want to remember." I laugh.

"Really? About what?" I sigh I know Ginny she won't give up until I tell her.

"Viktor." Is all I say.

"You want to tell me what happened?"

"It just didn't end well." I laugh. "If him telling me he never wants to see me again not ending well. He never even said goodbye."

"Why did he do that?" She was sitting up now looking at me properly.

"Because I told him I needed to carry on travelling. He wanted me to stay he," I take a deep breath. "He told me he loved me and wanted me to stay with him. I just couldn't."

"Oh Hermione I'm sorry." She hugged me then.

"It's ok. It was a year ago now." I squeeze her back thankful for her comfort.

"But I can tell your still hurting. It must have been awful." She pulled away. "Did you love him too?"

I just nod because I know now I did, maybe still do. I can't say it out loud though it would hurt too much. Ginny seems to understand.

We never spoke after that. It wasn't long before the door opened again and Malfoy walked in.

"Hey. What going on?"

I couldn't help but laugh and Ginny followed suit.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking down at his clothes.

It wasn't his clothes though. It was his hair. It was flat on one side and sticking up. It was a far cry from his usual well-dressed self.

"Your, your," Ginny managed to get out before laughing again.

It wasn't that funny really but in my sleep deprived mind I found it hilarious.

"Hair." I managed to finish for her.

"Brilliant." He murmured before taking his wand and straightening it out.

"You need to teach me that." I gasp.

"Right I'm going back to bed. I'm knackered." Ginny said.

"Night." I say after her.

"Have you even been to sleep yet?" He asked.

God I must look awful for him to recognize that. I shake my head. "It happens sometimes." I shrug it off.

"I have a sleep draught if you want one." He said.

"No thanks I don't like how they make me feel the next day."

"I make a mean hot toddy." He smiled.

"Yeah ok." I smile and follow him to the kitchen.

I sit on the counter and watch him work. He has the pan on the stove and is getting the milk out.

"Aren't you going to use magic?" I ask it would be faster.

"Doesn't taste as good." He shakes his head. "Call it my secret ingredient." He winked at me.

I watch him add the milk and fire whiskey then he pauses.

"What?" I ask.

"This is my real secret ingredient." He moves to stand in front of me. "Promise you won't tell anyone."

"I promise." I laugh. He brings it out from behind his back. "A cinnamon stick?"

"Yes." He sticks it in the pan. "Ginny has been trying to get me to tell her for months."

"Really?"

"Really." He smiles.

He takes the pan off the stove giving it a stir. He takes a spoon and scoops some in. He's standing in front of me again holding out the spoon. I open my mouth and he puts the spoon in.

It's good. He pulls the spoon out and a drop spills down my chin. Before I can make a move to catch it he catches it with his thumb and then puts it to my lip. I put my tongue put and lick the milk from his thumb.

He looks at me a second before he leans forward and puts his lips to mine. For second I don't know what to do. Then my body takes over and I kiss him back. He moves closer and deepens the kiss. It's gentle, not what I was expecting.

He moves his hand to my cheek and uses his other to bring me closer to him. I push myself closer to him too wrapping my arms around his neck.

My hand move to his hair fisting to bring him closer. He pushes up my top so his hands are on my bare skin and I moan. It's been awhile since I had someone's hands on me.

Just as I was wondering how far this would go. Someone called from the stairs. He moved away quickly moving back to the pan.

"Draco?" It was Ginny. She pushed into the kitchen. "Do I smell your hot toddy? Can I have one?"

"Sure I think I've made enough." He cleared his throat not looking at me. "Grab me some mugs?"

"Sure." She bounces to a cupboard and I don't take my eyes from Malfoy. "Here. Did you see his secret ingredient?"

"No." I shake my head. "Even if I did why should I tell you?" I say playfully even though I would rather have ran from the room.

"Because I've been trying to get him to tell me for ages." She laughed.

"Here." Malfoy hands me a mug somehow without looking at me still.

"Thanks." I say probably a little too curt. "I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow."

I don't look back. But I hear Ginny ask what he'd done to me. I don't hear his answer I'd reached my room.

What the hell just happened? I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about how good it felt. I take a sip of my hot toddy. Damn it's good.

The only think I can think right now is perhaps now it's done we can move on. Maybe this weird tension between us will be gone. I laugh to myself. I'm reaching. I need to find a way to get over this and quickly because from his reaction he obviously doesn't want it to happen again.

I finish my hot toddy and place my head on my pillow and try to sleep. I know it's hopeless. But to my surprise I actually drift off to sleep.

The next few days I try to avoid Malfoy like the plague. I prepare for my interview with Kingsley and view a few places. I hate them all. I just can't find one I like.

I know Malfoy knows I'm avoiding him. Frankly I don't care either. I think about this as I make my way to the ministry. The man is so annoying. I've mulled this over like crazy. I thought the kiss was pretty amazing but maybe he never. I hate myself for thinking about this so much.

I'm thinking about this so much I don't realize I've actually made it to Kingsley's office and that he was talking to me. I stand and shake his hand but he tugs me into a hug. I laugh it's been a long time.

"Miss Granger." He says showing me into his office. "Please sit down. How where you travels?"

"Minister you know to call me Hermione." I smile. "They were fantastic I enjoyed most of it."

"And you know you can all me Kingsley." He sits at his desk and gives me a long look. "You should know this is just a formality. I already know I'm going to hire you for this position."

"But..." I begin only to be cut off. Damn Malfoy was right.

"The connections you have made on your travels are invaluable." He reaches into a file he has in his desk. "Here take a look at these. They are letters from the Ministry's you visited saying how much they would like to work with you. I also know from your teachers at Hogwarts that you are meticulous and will handle anything I can throw at you."

"Ok. Tell me what the position is all about." I say flicking through the letters from the ministries.

"It's head of International Magical Cooperation."

"Wait." I pause him holding my hand out. "Head?"

"Yes." He nods. "We've had a clear out of that department after corruption had been discovered. Almost everyone in that department was involved it has been a major inconvenience."

"Corruption?"

"Yes taking money for having certain events in their country." He sank in deeper in his chair. "We've managed to keep it under wraps but for how much longer I do not know. That's a reason I need you to start straight away. You will hire all your own staff. It will be your department everything that happens will be yours."

"That's a lot of responsibility." I say.

"You'll be well paid."

"You know that doesn't concern me." I sigh. "How quickly do you want me to have this department fully functional?"

"Six months."

"Kingsley!" I say.

"I know, but I have full faith in you."

"And I have complete control over who I hire?" I look at him. "No interference from you?"

"None at all." He smiles. He knows he's got me. I have one condition though and I don't really know why I'm doing it.

"Ok I'll do it but I have one condition." I say.

"Anything."

"I want you to hire Draco Malfoy." I say and I see his face fall and confusion pass over it.

"Draco Malfoy?" He asks.

"Yes. He deserves a second chance and he was the only person who could challenge me in school. I need someone like him on my team." I sigh. "I just don't want him to know I was the one who suggested this."

"Ok if you're sure." I nod at him. "Ok I'll send him an owl. He has applied for a few positions here and never been successful I'll just say I looked at those applications."

"Can you put an advertisement into The Daily Prophet for me too please?"

"Of course." He stands up. "I'll send all the applications to your new office. I'll get someone to show you where it is I have another meeting now."

"That's fine Kingsley I'm sure I can find it on my own. Just tell me what floor."

"Level five." He pulls me into a hug once more. "Good luck Hermione though I don't think you will need it."

"Thank you."

I walk out then and head to the elevators. Well it looks like I have a new job. I head to my new office. As I walk through the floor I take in the mess it has been left in. Files where everywhere some of them are partly destroyed. I really have my work cut out for me. I need help, like, now. I send a message to Kingsley asking him to send someone to help me as soon as possible. It's still early, I can get a lot done if I start now.

I take off my jacket and roll up my sleeves and take out my wand ready to dig in.

It's past lunch time before I hear the elevator go and I breathe a sigh of relief. I turn around and see Malfoy standing there. Damn I didn't think I would have to deal with this so soon. I would have to play this right I don't want him to know I had given him this job I want him to think he had done its own his own merit.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I was told this is where I should come for my new job?" He looks shocked. I don't blame him.

"Fantastic." I sigh. "Well this is my department."

"Your department?" He asks. I nod. "Did you hire me?"

"No. that must have been Kingsley." I sigh running my hands through my hair. "I told him I needed someone ASAP to help me out with this." I wave my hands pointing out the mess.

"Ok." He shrugs. "Listen if we're going to work together we should talk about the other night."

"No we don't. It's fine." I say turning my back to him. Heading into another office. "It was a mistake I get it. It won't happen again."

He follows me. "What if I don't think it was a mistake?" He asks.

I turn and look at him. "You could have fooled me."

"I'm sorry." He says moving closer. I can't help it I stiffen a little. "I guess I was shocked you kissed me back. Then Ginny came down the stairs I didn't know what to do."

"So you just ignore me after. What makes you think I don't think it was a mistake?"

"Because of how you've been avoiding me." He comes closer again. "You want me too."

"Too?" I ask my brain seems to have run away. He comes closer. He's only inches away from me.

"I think that's obvious."

I feel his breath on my cheek and he's moving closer.

"Hermione?"

I jump back.

"I can't catch a break." I hear Malfoy whisper.

I walk out into the hall and see Harry. "Hey." I smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Kingsley told me you took the job. Thought you might want to get lunch." He hugs me.

"Sure. I'm quite hungry actually." Just then Malfoy comes out of the office.

"Hey Draco." Harry says. "Why are you here?"

"Hermione's not the only one with a new job." He shrugs.

"Congrats man. We need to celebrate tonight." He slaps Draco's arm. "You in?"

"Definitely." He laughs.

"You coming to lunch too?"

"Nah I had something before I got here. You two go. I'll carry on with the cleanup."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah you go." He sighed. "I'll see you when you get back."

I nod and head out with Harry. Things with Malfoy are getting weird. I don't know how I feel. But every time I'm near him my body responds to him. I think I need to knock it on the head. I'll have to think about how to go about it.


	7. Chapter 7

I'd managed to not be alone with Malfoy since that moment at the Ministry. It was hard but somehow I'd managed to do it. Even locked myself in my office and hired a clean-up crew out of my own pocket. I'm losing my mind I really am.

I'm with Ginny now trying on my bridesmaid dress. It's beautiful. It's green, full length and silk. I can't believe how beautiful it is. It's strapless too. I spin in it and it fans out around me. I've pinned my hair up, loose curls framing my face. Ginny chose well.

"Hermione are you ready? I want to see!" Ginny called. I step out and she gasps. "Hermione! It's beautiful."

She hands me a glass of champagne. "I can't wait to see yours." I grin.

"She's just getting it ready. You have to stay in your dress because I want to see how we look together." I nod and take a sip of champagne.

"Miss Weasley? Your dress is ready." A young woman comes out of the dressing room.

Ginny jumps up and down clapping her hands. "Ok I won't be long," She says to me.

While she's gone I can't help but look around at all the dresses hanging up. I run my hand along them. Feeling all the different materials.

"You look beautiful." A voice says behind me. I freeze. "Gin wants to see my suit properly, in case you're wondering why I'm here."

I still don't turn around. I've avoided this for a week. Now it's happened I don't know what to do so I just stand still. I hear him move closer but I don't move. I feel him behind me. My breath catches. Then I feel his breath on my neck and my eyes flutter closed. He places a soft kiss just below my ear that sends a shiver down my spine.

He runs a finger along my shoulder and down my arm. Taking my hand and entwining our fingers. His lips make their way along my neck and I tilt my head to make it easier for him. I'm still holding the champagne and he wraps his free arm around my waist pulling me to him.

"I don't know why you're fighting this." He whispers against my neck. "We could have something."

I turn in his arms and face him. "It would never work." I whisper. I haven't opened my eyes.

"And why is that?" His hands tracing its way back up my arm to cup my neck.

"Because of who we are." I say not knowing how to explain it better.

"I think what we're doing here puts that to rest. I think were working quite well." He runs his thumb over my bottom lip. "Look at me."

My eyes flicker open and I look at him. His grey eyes are looking down on me. He just looks at me for a second before he finally brings his lips to mine. A hum of pleasure escapes me. The kiss doesn't last long before he pulls away.

"Meet me tonight?" He asks searching my eyes.

"I don't know." His answer is to press him lips to mine again.

"Please." He begs against my lips.

"Ok." I say. He smiles and kisses me again.

"Ginny will be out in a minute." He pulls away then. Stroking my cheek one last time.

For the first time I see him properly. He's wearing his suit. He looks good, really good. It a dark grey three piece suit and a green tie that matches my dress.

"The suit looks good on you." I croak out and clear my throat.

"Not nearly as good as how that dress looks on you I'm sure." He laughs.

Just then Ginny comes out from the back dressing room. She looks stunning. Her dress has long lace sleeves that are off the shoulder. The lace covers the bodice to her waist then it's silk to the bottom. The skirt is full but not too much and has a small train. Her hair is down and her veil attached near the crown of her head flowing round her shoulders.

I put my hand to my mouth and the tears flow down my cheeks. "Ginny you look amazing." I say through my hand.

"Absolutely stunning." I look at Malfoy and he's grinning at her.

Ginny is beaming. I run over to her and hug her.

"Potter is one lucky man." Malfoy says as he hugs her after I move away.

"Look at you in your suit. You look amazing." She laughs. "My mum wanted robes but I like suits better. My dad has robes though."

"I can't believe in two weeks you and Harry will be married." The tears start again. "I always thought you two belonged together."

"Well I though you and Ron did." She laughed turning to the mirror. "How wrong could I be?"

I look over at Malfoy and he's looking at me too. I can't tell what's going through his mind. At one time I thought Ron and I belonged together too, but that seems like such a long time ago now.

"Ginny I need to get back to the office." I look at him with a question in my eyes. "I still have a couple of those interviews you asked me to do. Although I'm not sure I hold out much hope if they are anything like the ones I had yesterday."

"I know the candidates are not the best pool of people. I'm hoping a few good ones will pop up soon. I need to get this department up and running as soon as possible." I take a sip of my champagne thankful to change the topic.

"Hopefully I'll get lucky." He looks at me. "I'll see you later."

Ginny doesn't miss it either. "He'll see you later?" She asks with a smile.

"Yes. We're going over a few work things." I think on my feet taking another drink of champagne.

"You could do worse you know?" She says checking out the dress in the mirror again.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"You could do worse than Draco." She turns to me. "He's better than most men I know."

"What makes you think he'd want me anyway?" I laugh trying to make light.

"Oh please. I'm sure everyone sees how he looks at you." She laughs at me. "And plus there is the fact that a couple of weeks before you came home he got pissed and told me he had always had a thing for you."

I laugh. "Yeah right Malfoy always had a thing for me. He was obviously pulling your leg Ginny."

"I don't think he was." She steps down. "Right time to get these off and go get lunch I'm starving."

Later that night I'm stood in the kitchen with a cup of tea in my hand wondering whether or not I should go upstairs. Everytime I'm alone with Malfoy my body takes over. Right now I'm trying to decide if that is a bad thing or a good thing because he makes it feel good. Maybe I should. Just bite the bullet, you know? I could probably do with a good roll in the hay so to speak.

"Hermione?" Ginny was in the kitchen talking to me. I look up. "Are you ok l? I called your name like five times?"

"Yeah sorry just in a world of my own." I smile. "What's up?"

"Me and Harry are just going to The Burrow to go over a few things for the wedding." She smiles at me. "You and Draco will be all alone."

"Ginny." I shake my head, but feel grateful.

"Well i'll see you later." She runs from the room.

I laugh to myself. That girl is crazy but I love her. I decide to finish my cup of tea before I go find Malfoy. Because i've decided to go for it. I just need to grab some courage first.

I'm not very experienced at these things. Believe it or not Viktor was my first and only. I don't tend to make the first move.

Luckily for me tonight doesn't seem to be the night I have to. Just as I'm finishing my tea Malfoy appears in the door way. He leans against the door frame his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where's Harry and Ginny?" He asks.

"Burrow. Wedding things." I reply and the way he is looking at me is sending my heart into overdrive.

He crosses the room in three strides and before I can process it he's kissing me. His hands are in my hair and he's coaxing my lips open with his tongue. I throw myself into the kiss too wrapping my arms around his waist bringing him closer. This kiss is more passionate than the other two we shared. More need in it.

My hands find the hem of his t-shirt and push it up slightly so i can run my hands over his skin. He let's out a low moan in his chest as I do. Suddenly he steps back and takes his shirt off. He has a good body he must keep in shape. I hold out my hands and run them I've his chest before he's kissing me again.

He lifts me up and sits me on the counter. I bring his bottom lip into my mouth and graze it with my teeth.

"Sweet Salazar, Hermione." He gasps as he moves his kisses along my neck. His hands move to my tank top and lifts it up over my head and it joins his on the floor.

I tangle my hands in his hair as I bring his mouth to mine again. I want this so much right now. It's been a while since I felt like this.

He pushes the straps of my bra down his fingers tickling my skin. He pulls back a second and he's searching my eyes, asking if u really want this. I answer by reaching back and unclipping my bra and letting it fall.

He wastes no time as he dips his head and takes my nipple in to his mouth. It has me moaning instantly. He does the same to the other and I'm a mess underneath him.

When he kisses my mouth again I reach for his jeans, unbutton them, slip down lip zip and push them away from his hips. He momentarily steps back to step out if them and I take the opportunity to free myself of my jeans. I'm grateful at this moment I have no shoes on.

He's kissing again and his hands are running round the hem of my lace knickers and it makes my muscles seize. I'm almost ready to beg when he rips his thumbs through sides and rips them away.

I have a small moment of clarity. "Wait." He looks at me. "This is just for tonight. Ok?"

"We'll see." He says as he kisses my neck.

His fingers find between my legs and he's stroking me. I'm biting my lip trying not to cry out.

"Say my name." He says against my neck.

"Malfoy." I moan.

"No." He looks at me. "My first name."

I look at him for a second and he stops moving his fingers and I feel lost. I almost scream it.

"Draco." I gasp. "Draco don't stop."

I hear him growl and before I realise what's happened he's pushing inside me with one forceful stroke. That's it then I can't help the cry that leaves my lips. I wrap my legs around his hips trying to take him deeper. His hands are on my hips pushing me towards him as I balance precariously on the side, my hands on his shoulders.

I feel the beginnings of my climax building. "Oh Draco." I moan without thinking and he quickens his pace. My nails dig into his shoulders as I explode around him. He doesn't stop. In fact he goes harder trying to find his own release and in doing that I find my second and his rolls after.

He puts his forehead to mine cupping face and kissing me. There's no loss of passion in the kiss either.

"Your incredible." He whispers our breathing still laboured.

"Don't." I say I don't handle compliments particularly well. I look away but he uses his hands to bring my gaze back to his.

"You are." He places a gentle kiss to my lips before he pulls out and holds out his hand. "Come let's get a shower."

"We shouldn't"

"You said tonight." He smiles. "The night isn't over yet."

He has a grin on his face that makes me laugh. I jump down and take his hand. I'm suddenly grateful I preempted this and took the contraceptive potion before. He pulls me in close and kisses the top of my head.

We shower together before we go to our separate rooms for the night. We had come to the decision not to tell anyone. I slept better than I have in a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

The next week flies by with everything going on at work. Even though I'm working with Draco everyday things seem good. The work is a distraction. Our lingering tension seems to have abated a little. It makes working together easier. Maybe sleeping with him was a good idea after all.

The department, my department should I say, is coming along better with Draco at my side than I thought possible. When I brought him on I was only going to have him as an agent. But he's been such a help, such an asset I've decided to promote him so to speak.

"Draco?" I say for some reason I'm nervous about asking him.

"Hermione?" He answers not even looking up from his papers.

"Have you found a suitable person to be my deputy?" He looks up then.

"I haven't looked properly yet. I thought you wanted to leave that till we'd filled the other positions. Which is actually going better now. I have a number of people I think will be good." He says. "Why have you?"

"Yes." I clear my throat and look at him. "You."

"Me?" He's shocked. He doesn't hide it. "Why me?"

"Oh please Draco. I couldn't have come this far without you." I sigh. "You've been here from the beginning you know everything I do. There can't be anyone better."

"Are you sure about this?" He asks but I see a small twitch in the corner of his mouth like he's trying to hide a smile. "What will Kingsley say?"

"Leave him to me. He said I can hire anyone I want. If he has a problem I will handle it."

"Hermione." His face splits into a grin. "This is amazing. Thank you."

"You've earnt it Draco." I laugh. "You've basically done the job since you started anyway."

"You want to celebrate with me tonight?" He asks and I feel like there's an underlying question there.

"I would, but I can't." I slump into my chair. "I'm so tired. I need to get some sleep."

"You haven't been sleeping?" He asks suddenly concerned.

"Everything that has happened here has been playing on my mind." It's true I'm worried were not going to be ready in time.

"I know you don't like them but I still have that sleeping draught at home."

I sigh. "I might have to take you up on that."

"I'll tell you what, why don't you go home early? Grab a bath relax take the draught?" He grins then. "Let your deputy take over for the rest of the day."

I laugh. "That sounds too good to turn down." I close my eyes and slump a little more in my chair.

"Maybe you should go now before you fall asleep in that chair. I'm not carrying you home through the ministry. Imagine the rumors."

I laugh again. Pushing myself up with a groan I stretch. "Thank you Draco."

"No worries. I'll just think about how I'm going to decorate my new office." He laughs. "Plus we have the next few days off for wedding stuff." Oh right I'd forgotten about that.

"Have fun." I say as I grab my bag and make my way to the Ministry's floo network.

The first think I do when I get home is pour myself a glass of wine. I take a sip and sigh. It tastes good. I take another sip and I can already feel it start to relax me. I take off my shoes and start to make my way to the bathroom to take up Draco's suggestion of a bath when there's a knock at the door. In a moment of weakness I stamp my foot like a toddler. Who the hell is this?

I debate for a second whether to answer it then my curiosity kicks in. I pull the door open.

"Ron!" I was not expecting this.

"Hey Hermione." He seems nervous, standing there with his hands in his pockets.

It takes me a moment for my manners to kick in. "Come in." I step aside. "Harry and Ginny aren't home yet."

"That's ok. I came to see you anyway." He walks past me and into the living room.

"Are you ok?" I ask. I have no idea why he would want to see me. I see his gaze flit to my hand and I realize I'm still holding my wine. "Oh Shit, sorry. I'll just put this away."

"No, no it's fine Hermione." He holds out his hand to stop me. "I'm stronger than I used to be. Honest."

"Ok." I shift on the spot. "You want a tea or coffee?"

"Sure. A tea please." He smiles.

I make my way to the kitchen taking a deep calming breath. Ron stays in the living room and when I head back I leave my wine, I've made myself a coffee.

"Here." I hand him his tea. He's still standing.

"Thanks." He says. "I'm sorry to barge in like this and I'm sorry I haven't been to see you sooner. It's just everyone treats me like a baby and is expecting me to go on some bender if I see you."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because they think I only started drinking after you left." He's looking at his tea.

"And did you?"

"No I started before that." He looks at me. "It kinda started when I left you and Harry that time."

"What? How?" I sit, I'm shocked.

"The place I ended up in." He sits himself taking a deep breath. "I've never told anyone this. There were these lads. They were running too. They partied like every night I travelled with them a while. After a while I started drinking in the day too. It wasn't long before it was an everyday thing and before I left I stole a few bottles of their fire whiskey. I used to sneak a drink while I was on look out or while you and Harry were asleep."

"Oh my God Ron." I can't believe this. "How did we not see this?"

"I hid it well." He shrugs. "I hid it well for a long time."

"I'm sorry Ron."

"It's ok." He smiles. "At least now you know it's not your fault."

"Why don't you tell everyone this?"

"They already look at me like I'm about to break. What would they be like if they knew it was happening a year before they even knew about it?"

"They would be supportive." I say.

"No, they'd be even more judgmental than they already are." His tone was getting angry. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault."

"It's ok." I smile. "It's good to see you anyway."

"It's good to see you too." He smiles. "I would have come earlier but this is the first time I've been left alone."

"They are really that bad?"

"You have no idea. I'm surprised my mum even allows butterbeer in the house." He laughs. "You know how over the top she can be."

"I do."

We fall into am easy conversation. We talk about my travel and he talks about the happier times he's had after the drinking stopped.

After a while the fire blazes green and Harry steps out looking hassled.

"Ron there you are." He sags in relief.

"See I told you." Ron says looking at me with a sad smile. "I guess that's my queue to go and calm my mother."

I stand with him. Then I hug him. "We'll talk again soon."

"Too right I expect a dance at the wedding." He laughs hugging me back. "I'll see you later Harry." Then he steps into the fire and he's gone.

"What was all that about?" I turn to Harry.

"Molly came home and he wasn't there she thought he'd gone drinking again." He sighed. "I only came home to change."

"You do know at some point you are all going to have to give him a bit of room soon right?" I pick up the empty cups and head back to the kitchen.

"I know." He follows me. "Molly is just so paranoid. The last time we thought he was better he was far from it."

"I get that Harry." I pick up the wine again. "But for him to get truly better he needs a little space."

"You should tell Molly that." He sounds angry.

"Why are you angry at me?"

"Because you don't know what it's been like with him." He's raising his voice.

"I knew you felt this way." My voice raising to match his.

"And what way is that Hermione?"

"That I should have been here. That I should never have left." I feel myself getting chocked up.

"I don't think that Hermione." I give him a disbelieving look. "It's just been difficult with him. He deceived us all at some point."

"If you had told me I would have come straight home." I almost sob. "You should have told me."

"I couldn't do that to you Hermione." I see his shoulders sag. "Especially since I know he is one of the reasons you left."

"He's not the only one who needed me." I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

"Hermione none of this is your fault." He comes over and hugs me. I squeeze him back.

"It feels like it." I let a few tears fall. "Everything has changed so much. I know I keep saying it but it's hard."

"I know Hermione." He still doesn't let me go.

"Was it stupid of me to think everything would be the same when I got back?"

"Maybe a little." He laughs. "But I can't blame you."

I pull back. "Listen I'm so tired, I haven't slept properly for a few nights. I'm going to get a bath and then take the sleeping draught Draco said I can have."

"Ok" He's smiling at me weird.

"What?" I say.

"You called him Draco."

"I guess I did." I think back. "I have for a while I think." Ever since he told me to right here in this kitchen.

"Well that's a step in the right direction." I playfully hit his arm. "Go get your bath and some sleep."

"Thanks Harry."

I refill my wine glass before I make my way to the bathroom. I magically fill the tub and add some relaxing oils. I strip and step in. As I lie back I immediately feel the heat seep into my muscles and I relax.

I think about my day. Work however stressful, had been a productive day. We were still knee deep in application forms but we had managed to sort out the good from bad. We had even gone through a few cases. Then there was my telling Draco I wanted him as my deputy. It's a good decision. I know it is. I just hope it doesn't backfire somehow.

Then there was Ron. That was enlightening. Maybe I should tell Harry or someone about what he had told me about his drinking. No I can't do that it would be betraying his confidence in me. Plus Harry already feels guilty enough about that time. I don't need to add to it.

I can't believe Harry and Ginny are finally getting married in just a few days. I smile to myself. They really are perfect together. I wish I could find someone like that for me. I finish my wine and soak for a while longer.

I dry myself off with a towel and head to my room. I throw on an old t-shirt then head to Draco's room. When I step in I smell his familiar scent. I breathe it in then shake myself out of it. That's over now. I suddenly realize he hasn't told me where the draught is. I think for a moment. I have two options. I could whip out my wand and summon it or I could take the opportunity and snoop.

He's very neat. I stand there for a moment. I kind of want to take the opportunity to snoop. How bad is that? But his room is so tidy I think he would know so I take out my wand and summon it. It flies into my hand from his bedside draws.

The draw stays open and I hesitate a moment before I walk over to it. I take quick glance inside before I close the door and I gasp. Inside is a picture of me. It's a magical picture and I'm laughing. I recognize it from The Burrow before I left. I pick it up and look at it. Why does he have this?

I hear someone coming up the stairs and I quickly put the picture back before I leave closing the door behind me almost walking into Harry.

"Night 'Mione." He says.

"Night Harry."

I run to bed and take the potion quickly. If I don't I know I will be up all night thinking about why Draco has a picture of me in his draw. It works fast and I'm out before I can even begin to think about it.


	9. Chapter 9

I wake the next morning to Ginny jumping onto my bed. "Wake up, Granger!"

"What do you want Weasley?" I groan, really it must be only two AM.

"Its twelve o'clock you lazy get." She laughs and I jerk up to check my clock. Holy hell it is.

"Crap." I sit up and run my hands through my hair. I'm that shocked by my sleep in and wakeup call from Ginny I forget about the picture of me in Draco's draw. "I'll shower and meet you downstairs."

"Hurry up the spa is booked for two o'clock." She bounces off me and heads downstairs.

I groan as I push myself out of bed and towards the bathroom. How did I sleep so late? That must have been one powerful sleeping draught. My shower feels good and wakes me up.

At two thirty I'm lying on a massage table with my head in the hole sighing. This is just what I needed. It's a magical spa. Ginny found it, they use special magical herbs in the oil. My masseuse says my muscles are extremely tense. I don't contradict her, it's true. As soon as she starts I feel the oils working their magic.

"Ginny your amazing finding this place." I sigh.

"I know right?" She giggles. "One of the girls on the team recommended it."

Ginny has kept her hen party small, which suprises me. It's just Ginny, Luna and myself. She has informed us that we are spending the day here then going for dinner then on to a club. I did try to tell her this was my job being maid of honour but she was having none of it.

The day goes fast, we're having fun and I'm getting more drunk as the night goes on.

"Ok fine!" I shout at them spilling my wine as I point at them. "I admit it. The man is damn hot." They've been trying all night to get me to admit I think Draco is hot.

They shriek with laughter. "I knew it!" Ginny shouts back.

"He's not as hot as my Theo." Luna shouts back her shiny new engagement glistening on her finger as she raises her glass to take a drink.

"Of course not Luna." I laugh.

"I caught Draco coming out the bathroom once after he had just showered in just a towel." Ginny laughed. "I swear I was as red as my hair. The guy has a great body." I know, i think, ive seen it. "Don't get me wrong Harry has an amazing body I mean he works out everyday with the auror ffice. But I don't know where Draco gets it from."

I try to divert from Draco. "I bet it was nothing compared to Viktor." I say.

"I always wondered what Viktor was like under those clothes." Luna chips in and I can't help the laugh that comes from me. What no comparison on how Theo is better?

"What about Theo, Luna?"

"That is for me to know." She winks and the laughter starts again.

Later we're on the dance floor and I'm drunkenly throwing my moves and laughing. This is the best time I've had in a long time. A couple of guys try to dance with me but I'm not in the mood. I'm with my girls.

Just then I hear a voice shout behind me. "There she is!" I turn. "My gorgeous wife to be." It's Harry and he's very drunk I laugh at him.

He's holding out his arms and Ginny squeals and runs into them. They start kissing and pawing at each other. I grimace and turn away. Only to find Theo and Luna doing the same. Oh for fucks sake! I throw my hands in the air and stumble to my right. Oh Shit!

Just as I see the floor hurtling towards me two arms wrap around me and i'm being lifted up. Suddenly I'm flush against someones chest their arms wrapped around me. I look up and see Draco looking down on me with concerned eyes.

"What's wrong Draco? After a repeat performance?" I laugh to myself.

"While that does sound particularly tempting. You are slaughtered." He doesn't move his arms and I'm grateful. My legs feel weak. "Are you ok?"

"I dont know." I admit. Things are becoming hazy.

"I should take you home." He moves away slightly and grabs my arms so I'm a still supported, even now I feel myself sway. "I'll just tell Potter."

He moves but somehow takes me with him. Flush against his side. I see him talking to Harry but I don't know what he's saying. I see Harry just wave his arm at us and turns his attention back to Ginny.

"Come on Granger, let's get you out of here." He says keeping me pinned to his side as we move through the crowd.

"Back to Granger now are we?" My hand is grasping the front of his shirt so I don't fall over.

"Only when you misbehave."

"I'm not misbehaving. I'm having fun." I laugh as he pushes us through the door and into the night. "You should try it sometime."

The fresh air hits me and for a second I feel better. Then it hits my stomach.

"Draco." I whisper and he seems to understand. He quickly turns me around and I'm facing a flower bed. Just in time too because I empty my stomach seconds after he turned me round.

"Shit Granger." He says as he pulls my hair out my face.

My head starts to pound and my stomach is completely empty. Oh good Godric. Why do I drink?

A pathetic sounding moan leaves me and I slump back into Draco. "Take me home Draco."

"Ok." He rights me so he has a better hold on me. "Do you think you can aparate"

"I dont know." I grab his shirt again. "Just get me home, please."

I know I sound pathetic, but I don't care. My head is pounding, my mouth is dry and I know I must smell awful.

"Ok it's the quickest way I can get you home."

I'm vaguely aware of being moved away from the crowd my head buried in Draco's chest trusting he'll lead me right.

"Are you ready?" He asked and I nod squeezing my eyes shut knowing this won't be pleasant in my current state.

I feel him turn, then my stomach twists as I feel the pull and spin. We land gently but my stomach churns. I grab Draco's shirt tighter waiting for the feeling to pass.

"Are you ok?" He asks. His hand stroking my head. The feeling slowly recedes and I manage a nod. "Ok. Sit down I'm going to get you some water."

He sets me on the couch and I lean back my eyes still closed. I don't want to sit here. I open my eyes and stand up. I'm unsteady so I balance myself on the wall as I make my way upstairs. I'd just reached the top of the stairs when Draco calls me.

"Hermione, what are you doing?" He says walking up the stairs to meet me.

I'm not even aware of what I'm doing really. I push open the first door and lie down on the bed.

"Hermione. No, this isn't your room. It's mine."

"Tis ok." I slur as I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Waking up the next morning was not a pleasant experience. My mouth was dry and felt like cotton. My head was pounding. My eyes felt like someone had rubbed sand in them. Oh my God what was I drinking? I manage to open one eye and I notice a glass of water infront of me. I grab it and down it in one go. It helps a little with my dry mouth but not much else.

I sit myself up with a groan. Oh dear Lord never again. I take another look around and suddenly panic. This is not my room. I also suddenly realise I'm only in my underwear. My panic rises again. I can't remember getting home. In fact am I home?

Just then the door pushes open and I quickly pull the duvet up to my chin covering myself.

"Ah your awake."

"Draco! Thank God!" I start to relax.

"One hangover cure!" He hands me a glass.

"Draco, you're a life saver." I grab it and quickly drink it. I start to feel better almost instantly. "What happened last night? Why am I in your bed?"

"You don't remember?" He raises his eyebrows. "Granger I'm wounded!"

Oh please no. I can't have slept with him and not remember.

"Don't panic. I'm winding you up." He laughs putting me out if my misery. "For some unknown reason you decided to pass out in my bed fully clothed last night."

"Really?" I put my head in my hands. Then what he says registers. "Wait, fully clothed?"

"Yes." He laughs. "I have to say getting your jeans off was quite an experience."

"You undressed me?" He laughs at my reaction.

"Again, yes. You were completely out of it. I tried to wake you up but it was futile."

Oh the embarrassment. "Wait, I think I do remember seeing you last night."

"Was that when you basically threw yourself on the floor making me catch you or how about when I was holding your hair while you were sick outside?"

I feel myself blush and I put my head in my hands. I hear him chuckle. "Your having way too much fun with this." I say though my hands.

"I couldn't pass it up." I feel the bed move and look up to see him sat o the end. "Actually I'm saving you."

"How is that?" I say doubtfully.

"Ginny wanted to come up and wake you. What would she have thought if she found you in here?" He makes a mock shocked face.

"Oh." I turn my legs so they are put if the covers. "I better go sort myself out. Um, thanks."

"Anytime."

I practically run from the room in my underwear suddenly self concious. What a mess I got myself into there. I get into my room and throw myself in my bed just in time. Seconds later Ginny comes in.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she sits next to me.

"Better since Draco gave me his hangover cure." I laugh. "What a night. I don't even remember getting home. Draco said I was sick."

"I know it was great. I can't believe you were sick!" She's laughing at me now. "Did you even drink that much?"

"I know I thought I was fine. Clearly not. It's so embarrassing."

"Well I have something to distract you." She grins at me.

"Not more wedding stuff please." I beg.

"I know you don't mean that." She playfully punches me. "We have our last dress fitting and we need to pick up all the suits and everything. I'm getting married in two days Hermione you should be more excited."

"I am, I am." I sigh. "I suppose I'm just tired. What time do we have to be at the dress shop?"

"Not for a couple of hours. We can grab lunch first."

"Food sounds great. I'll just shower and get dressed." I sit up and stretch thinking about what I'm going to wear. Then I notice the look on Ginny's face. "What?" I ask with weariness. That is her inquisitive face.

"So, what happened with you and Draco last night?" Oh I should have seen this coming.

"Nothing. Not that I remember much. I only know he took me home after I was sick in a plant bed." I open my wardrobe.

"You expect me to believe that?" I look over at her and she shrugs. How can she be thinking that after the state I was in last night?

"Really?" I question. She sits there waiting. "Honestly Ginny. Nothing happened, I trust him when he says nothing did. Ok?"

"Fine." She stands. "But if I find out something did and you didn't tell me there will be hell to pay missus. I'll see you downstairs."

Wow, what the hell was that all about? I make my way to the bathroom to grab a shower and thank Godric she doesn't know about mine and Draco's one night. Lord knows what she would think. She seems very protective of Draco for some reason. I'm sure he can help himself though.

I sigh as the hot water hits my skin. I'm grateful there is only three more days of this wedding stuff. Don't get me wrong I'm looking forward to it and I'm happy for them I really am. It's just been a lot along with the new job.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off. As I get dressed I try to mentally prepare myself for what will be a busy few days.


	10. Chapter 10

"I wonder if Harry is asleep."

"Glorious sleep." It's the night before the wedding, were at The Burrow and Ginny refuses to sleep. "Ginny you should really try to get some sleep. You're going to need it."

"Are you saying I'm going to look awful?" She's sat bolt upright now. "Oh Hermione it's useless I'm too nervous."

"Ok." I get up out of my make shift bed. "I'll go get us a drink of something to calm your nerves. How's that?"

"Ok." She sighs and flops back on her bed. "I'll try anything."

I laugh and make my way downstairs. I'm almost dead on my feet Ginny and Molly have had me running around like a headless chicken. The boys on the other hand have been deemed unfit to help by Molly. According to her they couldn't get anything right. I almost felt like making mistakes just so I could join the boys.

I reach the kitchen, but I don't stop I carry on outside. Arthur Weasley has a bottle in his shed. Harry told me not even Molly knows. I reach the door and push it open.

I stop in my tracks. There's a light on. I jump as Arthur shows his head around a shelf.

"Oh Hermione it's you." He chuckles. "I thought you were Molly for a moment there. How can I help you?"

"We'll Ginny can't sleep and Harry told me you have a little secret hidden in here." I dance on the spot nervous.

"Ah. Yes." He stands up and he has the bottle in his hand. "I'm a bit nervous myself."

"Actually I'm glad I bumped into you." I walk over to him.

"And why would that be Hermione?" He waves his wand and conjures two more glasses.

"Um, I'm not sure this will do the trick." I shift again. "So I was wondering if you had a sleeping draught I could put in her drink." I rush out and look at him. "No, I'm sorry it's a terrible idea. Molly said no when I suggested it too."

"Actually." He stops me. "I think it's a great idea. I was going to slip one into her butterbeer before she went to bed but I couldn't get near her." He laughs.

"Oh thank Godric." I laugh too. "If I don't get some sleep I'm not sure Ginny would make it to tomorrow."

"I have a few vials here I think." He started moving up the different rows of shelves. "Ah yes. Here we are."

I watch him walk back towards me and he puts the vile down as he picks up the fire whiskey and pours two glasses. "Now the question is, half a measure or a full one?"

"I think half a measure will do its already late. It wouldn't do to have her over sleep." Arthur laughs as he pours half into one glass. "Would you like the other half?"

"Actually I think I will. A good night's sleep won't hurt." I watch him pour the other half into the other drink. "Thanks Arthur."

"Yes, well, not word to Molly."

"About what?" I smile and he laughs.

"Go on off to bed with you."

I pick up the glasses and head back inside. I peak through the door first to make sure nobody else is up. The coast is clear and I run up the stairs.

"Finally." Ginny was still sat on her bed. "Where have you been?"

"I'd think you'd be a bit more grateful to the girl who just got you a fire whiskey!" I wave the two glasses in front of me.

"Oh my good Godric! Where did you get that from?" She stretches out her hands grasping for a glass. "Gimme."

I pass her a glass and watch as she throws back the drink in one. It only takes a few minutes for the sleeping draught to work. I watch as she flops back on to her pillow and starts to lightly snore. "Sorry Ginny." I whisper as I get myself into my own makeshift bed and drink my own and follow her into a dreamless sleep.

It turns out half a vile is perfect. We both wake up to Molly calling us to breakfast from downstairs. Ginny is that excited she doesn't even think about how she got to sleep last night. I don't mention it.

The ceremony is beautiful. I can't help but cry along with Molly when Harry and Ginny exchange vows. When they are pronounced man and wife and have their first kiss as a married couple I cheer and whoop with everybody else.

The wedding is at The Burrow of course. All Weasley weddings seem to be here. After the ceremony wands come out and the chairs move and tables appear ready and set for the meal. Ginny was able to convince Molly to bring in a caterer. Looking at Molly now, next to Ginny I can't help but think she doesn't regret it. Everyone is having a good time. Laughter is flowing around freely. The speeches were both heartwarming and funny.

Everybody seemed to love Draco's speech. I learn more about his time with Harry and Ginny. Even Ron seemed to like it.

I've eaten so much food, laughed too hard and cried too much I could have gone to bed right then.

"You ready to dance?" It was Draco. I was so entirely in my own world I hadn't noticed the dance floor appear and the tables move.

"Yeah, sure." I say shaking myself out of it.

I take the hand Draco offers me and I pull myself up. We stand next to each other as we watch Harry and Ginny have their first dance. I feel the grin on my face as I watch them turn on the dance floor and I don't care. They are great together.

I see Ginny wave to Draco and I. "That's our cue." He says taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor.

He takes my right hand in his left and his right arm circles my waist, pulling me close. He starts to sway to the music and I place my free hand on his shoulder. He brings his head down and presses his cheek to mine. I can smell his now increasingly familiar scent.

"It's been a great day, hasn't it?" He says to me.

"It's been fantastic." I say with a smile. "They make the perfect couple."

"That they do." I hear him laugh in my ear. "I haven't had the chance to say it yet, but you look beautiful Hermione."

"Thank you." I laugh. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"You really suit green." I feel his smile against my cheek and I roll my eyes.

"She only had green because red clashes with the Weasley hair."

"I do have to say I think you would look hot in a little red number." He's laughing but it earns him a playful slap ok his shoulder.

"Draco!" I laugh too.

"I only speak the truth." We dance in silence for a moment. "You know we'll have the house to ourselves for the next month. I wonder what we can do to entertain ourselves."

I pull back and look at him. I know what he's thinking and the way he looks tonight do I really want to say no? I have to though.

"Draco." I take a deep breath. "I'm not looking for a relationship."

"Who said we should have a relationship?" Now he's teasing me. "I was thinking more along the lines of we scratch each other's itch every now and again." He pulls me closer again and my chin rests on his shoulder. "Come on Granger you know you've thought about that night. I know I have. I really want to relive it again."

"Are you talking friends with benefits?" I laugh.

"Why not?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"Because it never works."

"I have a feeling you'd stop it before it went too far."

"What's that meant to mean?" I look at him again offended and I'm not sure what for.

"You said it yourself you don't want a relationship. I'm sure if you thought we were headed that way you'd stop it." Suddenly the music changes and he spins me round having to catch me as I come back towards me. "Just think about it."

I watch him bend down and he places a quick kiss on my lips and walks off. My body reacts to him. His proposition and his swift kiss have sent my heart racing. I need a drink.

I head for the bar and ask for a white wine. They don't have fire whiskey as it was Ron's choice of drink. I drink it quickly and grab another. I need to pace myself I refuse to get drunk tonight.

I stand and watch the dance floor slowly fill up. I smile as I watch my friends laugh and play around. Then Ron has broken away from the crowd and is motioning for me to join them. I shake my head at him laughing. The next thing I know he's by my side taking my wine from my hand placing it on the bar then dragging me to the rest of them. I give in and start dancing too.

The music changes and I'm dancing with Harry. I put my head on his shoulder.

"Are you ok, Hermione?" I hear the slight concern in his voice and I look up at him.

"I'm great Harry. Congratulations." I grin at him and his face breaks out in his own.

"I still can't believe it." He laughs. "I suppose it might take a while to get used to."

"I don't think it will take too long. You two belong together."

"So when are you going to start looking for someone." He gives me a mock serious look.

"Harry, I don't know." My mind briefly flicks to Draco's proposal. "I'm not ready yet there is too much going on."

"Well don't leave it too long. All of us good ones will be gone."

"Big head much?" We both laugh and carry on dancing.

The time goes too quick and before we even know it Harry and Ginny are leaving for their honeymoon. A month long trip around the world. My tears start again, I'm so happy for them.

Not long after they leave the party starts to break up and I help Molly start to clean up. Soon there are only four of us left helping. Molly, Arthur, Draco and myself.

It's not long though before I realize Molly and Arthur have snuck off.

"Where did Molly and Arthur go?" It was Draco and he made me jump talking from behind me.

"I don't know I've only just realized they are missing myself."

"Maybe we should leave too." I hear him get closer.

"I can't just leave everything like this." The place was still a mess empty glasses and bottles everywhere.

"Why not?" I turn to look at him. "Everyone else did. Come back in the morning to help."

"I'd feel too bad." I bite my lip uncertain. On one hand I want to help but on the other I really want to go home.

"Hermione." He says walking slowly closer to me. "Come home with me and I'll make you forget all about it."

"You're confident." I say and I watch the smirk form on his lips.

"Give me a chance to prove it's not misplaced." He's right in front of me now. He puts his hands on my hips tugging me towards him gently. He lowers his head slightly looking at me as though asking for permission.

I hesitate for a moment, then I think fuck it. I throw my arms around him and bring him close. I crash my lips to his, I don't want gentle right now. I want to work out the tension in my body and why not do it with Draco?

He responds with equal vigor, grasping my lower lip between his teeth and biting gently. I release a moan and push him closer with my hands in his hair.

"Do you have everything?" He whispers along my neck.

"I just need my purse. It has my wand in it." I whisper back and tilting my head to the side closing my eyes and taking in the feeling of his lips.

I'm vaguely aware of him taking out his wand and summoning my purse. Seconds later he's pushing it into my hand. "Ready now?" All I can do it nod back.

He wraps his arms around me and without removing his lips, which are now kissing my collar bone, he turns on the spot and we aparate home.

When we land I'm not entirely sure where in the house we are. All I know is I'm being pushed against a door with Draco's lips on mine, his hands roaming my body. I grab the lapels of his jacket and I'm pushing it from his shoulders pausing his exploration. He begins to take off his tie and I push away from the door reaching behind me to remove my dress.

"Oh no." He pauses me. "I'm taking that dress off you." He has a wicked grin on his face. "It's all I've thought about since I saw you in it at the dress shop."

He moves back towards me cupping my face in his hands and kisses me. The tickle from his fingers sending shivers down my spine. I fumble with the buttons on his waistcoat. His fingers move down my neck and over my shoulders. I gasp and moan at the feeling. In the end I give up on the buttons and just tug at the waistcoat and the buttons tear away.

I feel rather than see him push his shoes off with his feet. I reach for his belt and tug him closer to me as I undue his buckle. Seconds later I'm pushing his trousers from his hips. My hands reaching out to feel him. I hear him let out a hiss as I feel him through his underwear.

He breaks away as he takes his own shirt off and I don't remove my hands. He looks at me with heat in his eyes and I get a wicked Idea. I move my hands to the waistband of his underwear. Then I drop to my knees in front of him. Sudden realization crosses his face and he grins down at me.

I push down his underwear and he springs free in front of me. I take him in my mouth and I hear him moan and fall into the door bracing his weight on his hands. I work on him for a while before he moves and pulls away from me.

"My turn." He pants. "Stand up."

I do as instructed and he kisses me again. He pulls away and turns me round. He traces his fingers along my skin following the rim of my dress. I expect him to start undoing the lace on my dress but his hands move to my hair. He starts taking out the clips freeing my curls. It feels good after having them in all day. When he's done he runs his fingers through my hair. I moan.

He moves his fingers to the lace on my dress, finally, I think. He moves tantalizingly slowly. Eventually my dress falls to the floor and pools at my feet. I turn to face him now only wearing my knickers. His gaze licks at my desire and I'm almost ready to launch myself at him, but he gets there first taking my body in his arms.

He directs me towards the bed as he kisses me. I feel the bed at the back of my knees and he pushes me down. He climbs over me and trails kisses down my body as he slowly removes my knickers. His mouth reaches between my thighs and I gasp as he brings me closer to the edge.

"Draco, please." I beg. I need this more than I realized as he works his tongue faster. My hands fist in his hair as I climax and call out a garbled version of his name.

He doesn't give me much rest. He climbs over me and he's inside me before I've finished coming down. His movements ignite me all over again. My nails are clawing at his back as his kisses move to my neck. Moments after the first I'm careening over the edge again and he follows me.

"Shit Hermione." His voice muffled against my neck. I let out a low chuckle. He moves to capture my lips again.

He shifts us both so his arm is around my shoulder pulling me to his chest. As my head is resting on his shoulder my arm over his chest I start to drift off to sleep. I have a fleeting thought that I should leave, go to my own room but my eye lids are too heavy and they close and I'm asleep before the thought fully forms.

I wake at two o'clock in the morning still wrapped in Draco's arms. That's when I leave. I gather my clothes and head to my own room. I'm slightly reluctant but I can't let this…. Arrangement of ours become more than it is. Staying in his bed would start something. I can't let that happen.


	11. Chapter 11

It's been two weeks since the wedding and my days have become a slowly formed routine. Work with Draco, home with Draco and sex with Draco. The sex with Draco doesn't even stay in the home part either. A few times we have been working in my office when I'd seen him looking at me with heat in his eyes and the atmosphere had changed. I was beginning to tell just by the look his eyes what he wanted. It would send my need ricocheting though me. Even when it was far from my mind one look from him and I'd be panting with need. Damn this was getting bad.

We're sitting in my office now going over the final preparations for the Triwizard Tournament. This year it's being held at Durmstrang. It involves the same three schools as when it was held at Hogwarts. We had tried to get a few other schools involved but after Cedric Diggory's death, they weren't interested. Ridiculous in her opinion, but everyone was entitled to their opinion.

"Have Hogwarts chosen their candidates?" I ask looking through a pile of letters on my desk. They should have told us who they were taking by now.

"Yes their letter arrived yesterday." I sigh in relief. One more box to tick.

I chew on the end of my quill as I look over the list in front of me. "And were sending Padma from our department?"

"Yes." I nod in thought. "You know it drives me crazy when you do that."

"Do what?" I'm still looking at the list in front of me.

"Chew on that quill." I look at him. "I want you to nibble on my lip instead."

"Draco." I take a deep breath as I feel the heat spread. "Were at work we need to stop this."

"You didn't mind the other day when I took you from behind over your desk." His smirk was back.

Oh yes the desk. Just the memory had me swallowing back need. I shake my head trying to clear it. "We need to keep boundaries Draco."

"What's wrong with work sex?" It crosses a line, I think. "It's fun."

"It wouldn't be if we got caught." I retort.

"Isn't that part of the fun?" He laughs.

Yes it is. I can feel the flush on my skin as I think about it. I'm not going to let this happen I need to keep boundaries. If we keep tearing each other's clothes off at every opportunity our dynamic will change I know it will, I can feel it already.

"Come on you know you want it too." I do, I really do.

"Draco, contrary to what you might think I don't want sex all the time. I have work to do."

"Fine, you can make it up to me tonight." He says with a grin on his face.

"No I can't. I'm meeting Luna." It's a lie, but I can owl her at lunch sort something if she's free. I need to have a night without him. My days are full of him.

"Afterwards then." Merlin he was determined.

"No Draco." I sigh. "I think it's best we have a couple of nights apart. Don't you?"

"No." I close my eyes and sigh. Why does he have to be so difficult? "It's just sex Hermione."

"Then I'm sure you can go a few ni2ghts without then." I check the time and its lunch time. I'm not hungry but it's the perfect excuse. "I'm going to get my lunch. I'll probably see you tomorrow now."

"Fine." His tone is clipped.

I make my way to the owlery to owl Luna. It's been a while since I saw her or anyone besides Draco. This will do me good.

Luna's reply doesn't take long and she told me to go to her house seen as Theo had a gig. That suited me it meant I didn't have to change for a pub. I'll just pick up a bottle of wine on my way.

Being with Luna is not as distracting as I hoped it would be. She's almost as bad as Ginny. All talk is of her upcoming wedding.

As she talks my mind drifts and I find myself trying to compare my time with Draco and my time with Viktor. The two of them were so different in some ways and so similar in others. Viktor was gentle in his mannerisms even though you wouldn't have thought it to look at him. Draco always had a snide comeback for everything. Sometimes it was refreshing and she enjoyed the back and forth they had. Sometimes it grated on my nerves.

Both them had this strange ability to make me weak at the knees with just a look. The ability to make my skin tingle with one touch. A kiss to set my body on fire.

"Hermione, are you even listening to me?" Luna's voice floated back into my mind.

"Of course I am." I quickly take a sip of my wine to hide my lie.

"If you're not going to be here Hermione, why did you come?" She asks a little bit angry.

"I'm sorry Luna." I sigh. "I'm a little distracted. Work and things. Believe me though this is great. The only company I've had for two weeks is Draco."

She gives me a smirk and I raise my eyebrows in question taking a sip of my wine. "Have you slept with him yet?" My wine sprays through my lips in shock. "You told me you thought he was hot. It's not that much of a leap."

Good Godric how do I answer that? Luna has always been good at detecting a lie. "That doesn't mean he feels the same Luna." I quickly finish my wine and pour another.

"I think he does. I saw the way he was looking at you at the wedding." She takes a sip of her own drink.

"That was probably because he hadn't seen me dressed up since the Yule Ball." I wave my hand in dismissal. I actually don't find it too difficult to tell her this. I'm not sure how attractive Draco thinks I am. After all how attractive do you have to find someone if your just scratching an itch?

"Bullshit." I stare at Luna then, she very rarely swears. "I reckon you know and you just don't want to admit it to yourself." Wow she can be on the mark sometimes.

"What does it matter anyway? It's not like anything could happen between us." Why did I buy wine and not fire whiskey?

"Why not?" She scrunches her face up in confusion.

Now there is a question I've been trying to find an answer to for two weeks now. I go for the pathetic answer. I shrug as I say, "its Malfoy."

"Hermione that cannot be your best answer." She's laughing at me now. "If I were you I'd go home and give him a try."

"Luna!" I shout in a shocked laugh.

"What?" She holds her hands out in a seemingly innocent gesture. "You might like it."

I do like it, I think, that's the problem. I sigh and try to think of a distraction and can think of one sure fire way. Theo. "You know I still don't know how you and Theo met."

"The Three Broomsticks. I was out with Cho Chang actually. He was there with Blaise." She gets a dreamy look on her face then as she thinks back to that night. "I'm still not sure how but she knows Blaise. They started talking and so did Theo and I. The rest, as they say, is history. Nice topic change by the way."

"Luna," I start tentatively, and she looks and me questioningly, "How did you get over the whole Theo being a Slytherin and, well basically being a twat in school?"

"You just said it yourself Hermione." She laughs. "It as school. Theo is different now. So is Draco."

"How can you really be sure though?"

"I'm going out on a limb here and say were talking about Draco and not Theo." She takes a deep breath and sigh. I don't say anything to contradict her. "Draco has turned his back on his family and his inheritance. He did all that before he met me, Ginny and Ron that day. I know you're still undecided over him but you really don't have to be."

I sit for a second thinking over her words. Some part of me is fighting with this supposed change in Draco and I hate it. I mean I'm sleeping with him and doubting his person. Who does that?

"Listen," Luna brings me back to the present. "Do you really think Harry of all people would be his friend and trust him enough to be his best man if he hadn't truly changed?"

"Your right Luna." I sigh. I really need to decide how I feel about Draco and all his changes.

I smile at her as I pull her wedding folder towards me trying to distract her again. They've been engaged for barely a month and her plans are moving fast. They want to be married as soon as possible. Who can blame them? They are in love.

It's late when I get back home and the wine has made me tired. I start to head towards the bathroom and sigh when I see a faint glow coming from Draco's room. I hope he hasn't heard me and I tip toe as quietly as possible. When I reach the bathroom I put a hasty silencing charm so I can wash and ready for bed. I quickly throw my hair in a makeshift bun atop my head.

Right that's me ready for my pyjamas and bed. I pull the door open and practically scream as I see a figure standing in front of me. I don't look twice I just quickly reach for my wand.

"Calm down Granger. It's only me." Draco. My heart is pounding in my chest as relief quickly washes over me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Malfoy? You scared the shit out of me." I place my hand over my heart feeling it pulse through my chest.

"I needed the toilet." I look at him and he has his trademark smirk on his face. "This is the bathroom isn't it?"

"Fuck off Malfoy." I'm pissed off adrenaline coursing through me.

"Testy tonight aren't we Granger." I push past him and make my way to my room. He follows me. "What's got your wand in a twist?"

"I've just been scared out of my wits." I pull open my dresser to find my pyjamas.

"Is that all?" I look at him then and take him in for the first time. He's shirtless and his pyjama pants are hanging loose on his hips. My mouth waters, fuck.

"What's it to you if it isn't?" I turn my back to him as I quickly start to change.

"You know you really don't have to change you could just take off your clothes and come to my bed." I can hear the laugh in his voice.

We never have sex in my bed. He must have noticed that too. I finish dressing and turn to face him. I refuse to let my anger dissipate. Even though when I look at him leaning against the door frame arms crossed over his chest I want to push him on to my bed and do exactly what I know he's thinking about too.

"Does everything revolve around sex with you?"

I watch as he pushes himself away from the door frame and slowly walks up to me. "When it comes to you? Salazar yes." He grins at me and dips his head to my neck and places a small kiss just under my ear making me gasp slightly. I know I should push him away put I can't find the strength. "Those little noises you make when I hit the right spot." A nibble on my ear lobe and a moan from me. "They head straight to my cock."

"Do you have to be so crass?" I sigh as I tilt y head for him. I can't help it. His lips are the only part of him that is touching me and I'm suddenly craving more.

"If you joined me in my bed I wouldn't have to talk at all." He trails his noose along my jaw line and hovers millimetres from my lips. "You know where I'll be if you change your mind." He whispers with a small smile before he turns and leaves my room.

My mind seems to have gone blank and all I can feel is the tickle of his lips and nose along my jaw line. Wasn't I angry at him for something? Dammit. I'm around him for thirty seconds and my head goes fuzzy and body goes on high alert.

I know I won't be able to sleep now and I curse myself as I head to his room. He may have won this round but I will not let him win the next.


	12. Chapter 12

I wake up sprawled over my bed. I don't even remember coming back here. I sigh, it feels way too early considering how late I was up last night. I look at the clock. It's only seven thirty. I let out a groan into my pillow. Then I'm sitting up. What was that noise? It sounds like a child laughing but it can't be, not here.

Curiosity wins out over my tiredness and I dress. I open the door and the laughter gets louder. I eyebrows crease in thought. I tread quietly down the stairs trying to peak into the living room.

"I'm going to catch you." I hear Draco say with a smile in his voice.

"No!" I hear the child scream but laugh.

"You can't escape the tickle monster."

This is just getting wierd. I take deep breath and walk the rest of the way. I open the door to see Draco tickling a young boy screaming with laughter underneath him.

They don't notice me and I take in the scene. I look at the little boy he must be about one. His laughter is infectious I find myself smiling too. Then I notice the hair. It's exactly the same shade as Draco's and my stomach turns. No way.

Suddenly Draco looks up and sees me. He smiles at me before looking back down.

"We have an intruder." Draco sits up on his heels.

The little boy looks over at me a look of curiosity on his face. He stands himself up and grabs Draco's hand. I watch as he pulls him towards me. I take a closer a look at his face and something else looks familiar to me. He stops just infront of me and looks at Draco pointing at me.

"That's Hermione." Draco says. The little boy nods like he knows.

Then I gasp and my hand is over my mouth. His hair changes to the same shade as mine.

"He likes you." Draco laughs as he bends down and picks him up. "Hermione this is..."

"Teddy." I interrupt him.

"Yup." Teddy puts his head on Draco's shoulder and his hair changes back to white blonde. "Aunt Dromeda has gone away for the weekend so he's staying with me."

I nod I don't know what to say. Now that I know it's Teddy I realise the familiar features I saw is Remus. He has his eyes. I feel my throat close with the effort not to cry.

"I'll just make some tea." I croak out before I turn and almost run to the kitchen.

I grab the sides of the counter taking deep breaths. This was a shock. I won't cry. Then memories swirl around my head. Tonks at Christmas morphing to make us laugh. Remus as my professor at Hogwarts. Them together however briefly it was. I only saw Teddy once as a baby at their funeral.

I don't realise I've lost the struggle not to cry until a tear hits my hand. I look at it pooling on my hand with my white knuckles from holding on so tight.

"Are you ok?" It makes me jump. I don't turn round I use my sleeves to wipe my tears away.

"I'm fine." I say putting on the kettle. I know I don't sound fine I can hear the tightness in my voice.

"I'm sorry I should have told you Teddy was coming."

"It's ok." I still don't turn around as I reach for a cup. "It was just a shock. I havnt seen him since..."

I can't finish but I don't think I have to. I take another steadying breath. Then I feel his hand on my lower back.

"Don't." I whisper. I don't want his comfort. I will cry again.

"It's ok to cry you know." I let out a snort of laughter. "What?"

"I'm not going to cry again. Enough tears have been shed from the war."

"Ok fine." His hand stays where it is and he doesn't sound convinced. "I'm taking Teddy to the park soon if you want to join us."

"Sure." I smile at him and move away breaking his contact.

I don't go back into the living room straight away. I stand and drink the tea I don't really want. I need to compose myself. I know Harry is Teddy's godfather and he goes to see him regularly, but not Draco. He's obviously close to his aunt too if she trusts him enough to leave Teddy here.

I'm not sure how much later it is, I'm stuck in my thoughts, when Draco pops his head in saying they are ready to go. I nod and empty my almost full cup of tea in the sink before I leave with them.

We head to the park with Teddy in his pram and Draco pushing it. He looks so natural doing it but it just seems odd to me at the same time.

"If you don't concerntrate on where your going and stop staring at me you'll fall over." He laughs.

"Sorry." I laugh back "It's just this picture is so surreal."

"What, me pushing a pram?"

"Yes." He laughs with me. I look around as we reach the park and realise it's still quite early. "Why did we come this early?"

"Well Teddy hasn't quite got used to his metamorphosis yet. When he gets excited his hair changes. So we have to come when it's quiet."

I sit on a bench and watch them together. Draco's right about coming when it's quiet. Teddy's hair is changing constantly. I watch him giggle as he comes down the slide and his hair changes from green to red.

Draco puts Teddy on the swing and I sit on the swing next to him swinging at opposite times pulling faces and making him laugh.

"I think it's time for us to go." Draco says after awhile .

"No!" Teddy shouts and stomps his foot his hair turning brown. The colour reminds me of Remus and Tonks. This must be his natural colour.

"I think I might have some choc choc for good boys at home." Draco says and I watch Teddy think it over his hair gradually getting lighter until it matched Draco once more. Teddy seems to give in with a nod. "Come on then little man."

Later that afternoon with Teddy napping, I take Draco a cup of tea. "Thanks." He says.

"So" I start as I sit down.

"I was waiting for this." He laughs. "Ask away Granger."

"You and Andromeda are close then?" I smile.

"Pretty close. I mean she's the only family I have now." He shrugs. "Apart from Teddy."

"Does Teddy stay here often?"

"Once a month or so."

"Why haven't I seen him before now?" I've been here a few months now, surely I should have seen him.

"Andromeda thought the house might be a bit crowded." He shrugs as he reaches for the tv remote. "I told her it was fine but she thinks she imposes with this one night a month."

"Where does he sleep?" The thought had just occurred to me. All the bedrooms were taken.

"With me in my bed." His gaze is still on the TV flicking through the channels. "He always has done."

"Oh." For some reason I thought he would have stayed with Harry and Ginny.

"Have we finished with the Spanish inquisition now Granger?" He doesn't look at me but I see the smile on his face.

"For now." I say as I curl up and drink my tea.

I have a few more questions for him, mainly about his parents but I'll leave that for another time. I'm curious about what happened between them.

It's not long before I get an opportunity to ask. It's later that night, or should I say early the next morning and there is a thunder storm. I love thunder storms. I find them refreshing. I'm sat by the back door in an armchair I've conjured with a hot chocolate and a book watching the storm.

I think back to my own parents. My mother and I used to sit like this when there was a thunder storm. Sometimes we'd talk sometimes we would sit in silence with our own books. I remember the way she would count the seconds in between the lightning and the thunder to see how far away the storm was. I see a lightening strike and count myself.

"1...2...3...4...5...6" then the clap of thunder came.

"What are you doing?"

"Dammit Draco." I say my heart pounding in my chest again. "Do you always have to scare the living Shit out of me?"

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Sorry. I presumed you heard me coming I wasn't exactly quiet."

"I was thinking." I say turning away from him and back to the storm.

"About?"

I sigh. "My parents if you must know."

The next thing I know he conjures amother armchair and he's sitting beside me. "What happened to them?" I dont say anything. Do I really want to tell him this? "Come on. I'll tell you about my parents I know your dying to know."

He smirks at me and I curse my curiosity. "Do you want a hot chocolate while we talk?" I ask biding my time.

"Sure. Why not?" I get up and begin to make him one and myself a new one. I feel him watching me as I make them and it makes me nervous.

I sit back down handing him his cup and he waits patiently. "It was just when the war was beginning really. Voldermort was killing muggle borns and their families. I didnt think I had another choice." I play with the rim of my cup for a second. "I.. I obliviated them. Erased myself from their memories. I sent them to Australia with new identities."

"Wow. You did that knowing you can't reverse it?" I look at him with what must be obvious sadness. Of course I knew it wasn't reversible.

"I wanted to keep them safe." I shrug. "It was hard. Really hard. I have a contact at the australian ministry who keeps a quiet eye on them."

"I'm sorry you had to do that Hermione."

I shrug. "We all had to do things we didn't want to back then."

i'm lost again in the storm for a minute seeing abother flash of lightening light up the sky.

"Well." He says bringing me back to the now. "A deal is a deal. You ready for my story?"

"Only if you want to share it." I say this but I really want to know.

"You shared yours." He smiles sadly at me. He takes a sip of his hot chocolate. Stalling just like I did probably. "This is delicious by the way."

"Thanks." I chew on my bottom lip while I wait for him to begin.

"We'll mine was after the war." He looks up at me through his lashes with a small smile. "We were in The Manor. My father was having one of his rants about muggle borns. The way things ended you would have thought he would have realised he couldn't spout that Shit any more, but no my father did it even more." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "One day I'd just had enough. The ministry had let us all off all because of Harry telling them what my mother did. For that they saw fit to give my whole family a chance. Little did they know my father would never change. Something flipped inside me and I remember just screaming at him to stop. The look on his face he was completely shocked. I'd never stood up to him before. About anything. I told him it was worthless spouting his hatred like he was. That the war was over and his side had lost. He didn't miss that I said his and not ours." He laughs sadly. "I admitted to him then that my loyalty didn't lie with him and his beliefs anymore. He didn't like that. That's when he threw me out."

"I'm sorry Draco." And I am. He shouldn't have had to go through that. None of us should have had to go through any of it.

"Anyway I begged my mother to come with me. She wouldn't. She said my father needed her. I told her I needed her too but she chose him. She told me to go to Andromeda." He was staring at his cup. "She didn't even hesitate. She just took me in. Things got a bit much with me and Teddy though. It want long after that I met Ginny and Luna and moved in here."

"Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through that Draco." I reach out and take his hand.

"I think you went though worse." He said looking at our joins hands.

"How so?" I ask confused.

"I presume you had to obliviated your parents because they would never have willingly left you." I bite my lip but don't answer which gives him his. "Both mine walked away from me and I havnt heard anything from them since. You had to make the choice for your parents who loved you. Mine never did so I never really lost anything."

"That is why you have it worse Draco." I squeeze his hand. "Anyway it's not a competition. We both lost our parents and shouldn't have. Let's leave it there."

He nods his reply. Were silent for a few moments then a rumble of thunder echos through the night and I see him flinch.

"What's the matter?"

"Well I'm not the biggest fan of thunder." I can't help the smile the forms on my face and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. "It's not funny."

"You're scared of thunder?" I'm not sure how long I can hold the laughter in for.

"Hold on I never said that." He grins at me. "I usually have a hot toddy with a splash of sleeping draught in it. I can't with Teddy here though."

A snot escapes me and I pull my hand from his to put it over my mouth. It was the beginning though and the laughter escapes me.

We stay up for a while talking about nothing really. I'm not sure what time it is when my eyelid droop shut then I'm vaguely aware of Draco picking me and carrying me to bed.


	13. Chapter 13

It's the night before Harry and Ginny are due home. I'm lying in Draco's bed. He is lying on his side his arm draped over my stomach and his breath tickling my cheek. I'm staring at the ceiling thinking about our relationship, for want of a better word.

Things had changed recently and I feel myself being dragged into a real relationship with him without my consent. A couple of times this week I had found myself waking up in his bed in the morning wrapped up in his arms. I had also noticed he had started to kiss my cheek when he was saying hello and goodbye. Things are changing and I need to decide whether I should end things now or just dive into the deep end. I'm petrified that I'm leaning towards just giving things a go.

Men who got close to me tend to get hurt. It's stupid to think this way but I do. First there was Ron who everyone thought I drove to a drinking problem. Then there was Viktor. Viktor who's heart I'd unintentionally broken for selfish reasons.

I shift myself so I can see Draco's face. He looks peaceful in sleep. I take in his features, he really is handsome. I tentatively take my hand and run my finger tips from his cheek to his chin. He subconsciously turns his head into my touch still asleep. I grow bolder and run my hand through his hair. My hand moves back down tracing the contours of his face and lips.

My fingers travel down his neck and down his left arm to his hand. Then it hits me. How have I forgotten? How have I never thought to look before now? I look him at once more making sure he is still asleep. Then I turn over his arm and run my fingers over where us dark mark should have been. I can't see anything I strain my eyes in the dim moonlight trying to see if there is any trace left.

"It started to fade as soon as he died." Draco shocks me out of my thoughts.

"I... I'm sorry." I stumble out looking up at him.

"It's ok Hermione." He smiles stroking my cheek. "I'll admit I checked your arm too."

"I found a witch in Spain who helped it fade." I look down at my own arm. "Sometimes it itches. I think I'm imagining it though."

"I know what you mean." We don't speak for a moment both of us thinking about our would be scars.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I say trying to break the silence.

"Like I could sleep with you touching me up like that Granger." He laughs.

"You were awake the whole time?" He answers with a nod and a chuckle. I playfully push his shoulder.

He grabs my hand kissing my knuckles before he pushes me onto my back. Pining my arms either side of my head as he climbs over me. He kisses me gently and my heart begins to pound with anticipation. It's a soft kiss coaxing me to give more. His kisses move along my jawline and down my neck. I sigh in pleasure as he gently nips along my collar bone.

I push my hips up to him, feeling him hard and ready, silently begging for more. His head dips to my breast and he lavishes attention to them, my hands still pinned to the bed. I find myself arching into him wanting more. He kisses me again and I can feel that this time is different from the rest. Something has changed.

He pulls away and I look at him. His eyes capture me and I can't look away. Then he's pushing inside me and I'm letting out a groan. He moves slowly pressing kisses over me.

Finally he lets my hands free and I let them roam over him pulling him closer. He shifts us so I'm sitting in his lap legs wrapped around him. Again I'm captured by his eyes as he moves us. His arms are wrapped around me and my hands are in his hair. I can't take the intensity anymore and I break eye contact kissing him.

I'm getting close and I can tell he is too his pace quickens. He slips a hand between us and helps me climax around him. He follows shortly after biting my lip as he finds his end.

We hold each other for a moment catching our breath. Draco placing more kisses on my exposed skin. I turn his head and capture his lips again. I kiss him like it's the last time because I'm almost certain in my post bliss haze it has to be.

I sigh as I lay my head on his shoulder sleep taking over me. He moves us so were lying back on the bed and wraps his arms around me. Too tired to stop him I just lay in his arms and let sleep take me.

As I'm falling deeper into sleep I hear his confession. I'm certain he says it because he thinks I'm already asleep. "I love you." But before I can fully process it I've sunk into sleep.

I wake in Draco's bed, alone. I breathe a sigh of relief that I have these moments to sort myself out. Think things through. Draco's confession comes back into my mind and I groan. How am I going to handle this? There is no doubt in my mind that last night wasn't just sex, we'd made love.

I shower and get myself dressed hoping the whole while that Draco is out. I can't hear anyone else and I hope my luck is in.

It isn't. As I walk down the stairs I hear him in the kitchen. I walk nervously towards him pulling the sleeves of my jumper over my hands and biting my lip. This is best for both of us.

He hears me as I walk in and he turns and smiles. It's a beautiful smile one that almost takes my breath away. I can do this, I tell myself.

"Hey." He says walking up to me. He gently cups my face and kisses me. I briefly kiss him back savoring that contact. The kiss tells me exactly what I feared. Last night was more than sex. I pull back. He mustn't pick up on my tension as he moves back over to where he was making his tea. "You want one?"

"No thanks." I say. I take a deep breath. "I think we should talk Draco." I watch him he doesn't flinch.

"About what?" His back still facing me. I can't look any more.

"Us." I almost whisper. I feel rather than see him tense. He doesn't say anything. "We should end this now while we can." It comes out in a rush. "Ginny and Harry are home today and it would be easier for, for this to end before they get back don't you think?"

He stays silent for what seems like forever and I eventually drag my eyes from the floor to him. His back his still facing me but his head is tilted looking at the ceiling. "Why?"

"We both knew this wasn't going to last forever. We said it was just a temporary thing." I'm playing with a loose thread at the end of my jumper. "We shouldn't leave it any longer, it will just get harder."

"Why would it get harder?" He turned to look at me then and I can see the anger in his eyes. "Surely it would only get harder if you were starting to or already have feelings for me."

"I said this would happen." I sigh and drag my eyes back to my hands.

"Yes you did." I look up through my eyelashes and he's leaning against the counter his arms crossed over his chest. "I just want to know what the problem is Hermione. Why you are so averse to having feelings for me? Why your so against a relationship. I know it's not our past, I know your over that. Just explain it to me."

How do I explain that I'm petrified of hurting us both? How it scares me how I feel about him. That the men I fall for I end up hurting. I swallow the lump in my throat but I can't speak. I'm chewing on my lip. I didn't realize he had moved until he was in front of me and his thumb is pulling in my lip so it's free of my teeth.

"I don't know why you're so scared." His hand moves to cup my cheek. "I'm scared too." I look up at him then. "Just give us a try Hermione. Who knows we could be as good outside the sheets as we are in." He smiles at me.

I'm silent. A battle starts inside me. How I want to take him up on his offer, throw myself into a relationship with him. Then there was the other side of me who wanted to stay away from relationships and the hurt that came along with them.

He takes advantage of my silence and kisses me and I kiss him back like I always do. He puts his feelings into the kiss and I know we could be good together if I let my guard down.

"Please." He breathes against my lips.

"I... I can't." I can't take the pain when it all falls apart later on. This is what it boils down to, I'm saving us both the pain.

"Don't do this Hermione." His forehead touches mine his eyes boring into mine. "You heard me last night didn't you? This is what this is about."

I tear my eyes away from his and look at the floor again. This gives him his answer.

"Fuck." He says and moves away from me. "I don't know what your problem is Hermione. I don't know why you don't want to be happy." He looks at me then eyes full of hurt. "But I do love you." My heart goes into overdrive. I shake my head. "I don't know why that's such a terrible thing to you. But I'll tell you something now," He moves closer to me again. "I'm not going to stop trying to change your mind. I'll leave you alone for now but I will not stop fighting for you."

"Draco, I..." I don't know what to say. He cuts me off pressing his lips to mine.

His hands move to my face one cupping my cheek the other at the back of my neck. My mouth opens for him and my hands are at his back pulling him closer. His tongue dancing with mine. He reluctantly breaks away. "One kiss till next time." He whispers before he places a soft kiss to my lips one last time.

My eyes still closed I hear him move away and I feel the tears run down my face. I don't know how long I'm just stood there for but after a while I hear voices coming from the living room and realize that Ginny and Harry are home. I quickly wipe my eyes with my sleeve and move to the kettle. Pretending to look busy.

Ginny comes barreling into the kitchen then. "Hermione, what's wrong?"

I look at her and smile. "Nothing, I'm just so glad your back. I've missed you." I bring her into a hug.

"Whoa Hermione. I still need to breathe you know." She laughs.

"Sorry." I mumble loosening my grip. "Let's have a tea and you can tell me all about your honeymoon?"

"Ok. Are you sure you're ok Hermione?" I can see the worry in her eyes.

"I'm fine Ginny." I smile.

It doesn't take long for me to convince her everything is fine and before I know it she's fully into her honeymoon story. I don't have to take part too much I just have to prompt every now and again, and that is exactly what I need right now.


	14. Chapter 14

It's been a month since I broke things off with Draco and things have been strained to say the least. He's not being himself. He doesn't realise he is making things easier for me. He's trying too hard. I try to stay out of his way. I recently found my own place. It's not perfect but I needed to get away from the house. It wasn't just Draco. Harry and Ginny were still in honeymoon world and it was slightly nauseating. I don't know if it was just me. It probably was.

So now I had my freedom at home. It was only in work where we had to work in such close proximity on a day to day basis. He always found a way to touch me even it was just a quick graze of hands. It would send shivers through me and my heart would stutter. Numerous times I had nearly just given in.

Just as I was thinking about how to tell Draco I needed him to back off some more I got a memo from Kingsley asking me to his office. I wonder what this could be about. It's perfect timing too because Draco chose that time to come into my office. He no longer knocks.

"Sorry Draco. Kingsley has just called me to his office. Whatever it is it will have to wait." I pick up a quill and some parchment just in case.

"Oh ok." He says looking slightly put out. "I'll see you when you get back."

"Thanks." I say as I rush out the office door and towards the elevator. I feel his eyes on me but I don't turn around.

As I head to Kingsley's office I wonder what it could be about. Everything has been running smoothly as far as I know. When I reach his office his secretary tells me to go straight in. I knock and push the door open.

"Ah Hermione. Take a seat." He points to an empty chair. "Straight to business I'm afraid. The Bulgarian ministry are not fond of Miss Patil. They would like someone more senior."

"What?" I ask shocked. "Padma is one of my best."

"Yes I told them this but they are still not satisfied." He takes a deep breath. "I think they feel insulted that we sent a mere employee rather than a head or deputy."

"I only spoke to them a few days ago and they seemed happy. What changed their mind?" I ask.

"Possibly that the French sent senior staff members." I slump in my chair.

Then it hits me. Am I a terrible person for thinking this? Probably. "I'll send Draco." I say.

"Will he be ok with that? It is six months."

"He'll have to be." I say. "I have far too much going on that I want to oversee myself to leave now."

"Would you like me to inform him?" He asks.

"No, no." I say. "I'll tell him." It's the least I can do, I think to myself.

I finish my meeting with Kingsley and go back to the office. I'm not going to put this off I'm going to face this head on and deal with it now. Thinking about it though, it's the only solution. I can't leave now and they want a senior member.

As I leave the elevator and start to walk to my office I spot Draco. "Draco can I have a word please?" I don't stop I carry on walking to my office. I go to my desk and he's right behind me. "Can you close the door?"

I see him hesitate as I watch him. I try to hide the slight unease that I feel. I know he won't like this but I don't have another choice. Eventually he closes the door and sits opposite me. I get straight to the point.

"The Russians aren't happy with Padma." A look of confusion crosses his face.

"Didn't you just hear from them saying they liked her?"

"Yes, but the French have sent senior members of staff and now they feel insulted we haven't done the same. We have to send someone more senior." I look him straight I the face and I see his jaw stiffen I know he knows where this is going. "I have to send you Draco. I have no other option."

He stays silent for a moment just looking at me, his jaw still tight. I swallow waiting for his reply. I can't look at him anymore and my eyes move to my hands.

"Are you just trying to get rid of me?" I hear a mixture of hurt and anger in his voice and my eyes dart to his.

"No." I shake my head. "I have no other option. As head I can't leave now you know the work we still have to catch up on."

He's silent again and I know he understands now. While this is a convenient thing for me having my distance, no one but him can do this. I see his face slowly soften.

"When do I have to leave?" His eyes are still on me.

"Not for a couple of days if you want." I look at him he has his chin in his hand. "I'm not sure what the situation is. I only know that the draw happens on Sunday night."

"I'll leave in the morning then." He says. "That way I can catch up on what I need to do."

"Ok." For some reason it hits me how much I don't really want him to leave, but I push it down. "I'll leave Padma with you. At least for now anyway."

"That's a good idea." He stands. "Do you mind if I leave early? I need to pack." He sounds despondent.

"No of course not."

He turns and walks to the door. He puts his hand on the handle but pauses. He turns his head slightly towards me. "I'll miss you."

Tears quickly form in my eyes as I watch him turn the handle. "I'll miss you too." I whisper. The door closes and I don't know if he heard me. Would it be better if he didn't? I quickly wave my wand and lock my door.

Tears run down my face. Even though when I first had the idea I felt relief at the thought I would have distance now I wish I could take it all back. Watching him leave hurt more than I thought it would.

DRACO

Fucking bullshit. The whole thing, that's what this is. Why the Fuck did I have to go and fall for Hermione fucking Granger? I should have known better.

I'm back in the house, in my room. No one else is home. A wave of anger rushes through me and I end up punching the wall. It feels so satisfying I do it a few more times so a small hole is now in the wall. I'm panting when I finally finish and I lean against the wall.

This is it then she's figured out how to win, how to push me out. She's sending me to fucking Bulgaria for six months. In the back of my head I know there wasn't much of a choice. We need to keep the Bulgarians happy and who's more senior then me apart from Hermione herself? I also know work is not her only reason for not wanting to go to Bulgaria. If she went there she would probably have to work with Viktor Krum. My anger at the moment won't let me see that logic though. All I see is her wanting to get rid of me and now here was her perfect opportunity.

I don't know if it was my imagination or if it was real when I heard her say she would miss me too. I'm going to go with my imagination. It hurts less.

It will take me seconds to pack with magic so I head downstairs to where I know the fire whiskey is. I'm on my third glass when I hear the floo go. I look up to find Harry coming into the kitchen.

"Bad day at work?" Harry asks grabbing a glass to join me.

"I have to go to Bulgaria for six months tomorrow morning." I down the rest of my glass.

"What?" The shock shows on Harrys face.

"They want someone more senior." I wave my hands at myself indicating that I'm the senior member.

"Fuck." He shakes off the shock and pours his drink and refills mine. "I hope you didn't damage my wall too much." He nods at my hand where my knuckles are scraped and bleeding.

"Just a small hole." I say.

Harry downs his whiskey. "Right I'm changing and were going out for a drink. If you're leaving for six months we need a proper knees up."

Before I can object he's running up the stairs. To be honest though I don't want to object. I need this.

An hour later and were sitting in The Leaky Cauldron our second fire whiskey sitting in front of us.

"I can't believe your leaving for six months. It's bullshit." Harry says.

"I know." I look into my glass swirling the amber liquid around. I need to talk to someone and who better than Harry? "The worst thing is I don't know if Hermione is doing this because of work or because of what happened between us."

"Hold up." Harry puts his hand up for me to stop. "You and Hermione?" I nod. "What happened?"

"You can't tell Ginny, Harry. Hermione would kill me even more." Harry pretends to lock his mouth and I roll my eyes. "We fooled around a lot while you were on honeymoon. Well it started before then."

"You were together before the wedding?" Harrys face is filled with genuine shock.

"I wouldn't say we were together but we'd slept together." I shrug. Why am I finding this hard to talk about? "She never wanted a relationship."

"Just with you?" Harry asks. Harry must see how uncomfortable I am. "Sorry, man. I'm just curious. I can't believe I missed this."

I shake my head. "You know her better than I do. She doesn't seem to want a relationship with anyone. I tried to change her mind, but I don't know why she won't at least try." I finish my fire whisky and I can feel the effects start to relax me.

"Hermione is a mystery sometimes. When she doesn't want you to know something it's hard to get it out of her." Harry leans back obviously feeling it too. "But if you look at her two serious relationships, I don't think they went well."

"I don't know much about that to be honest." I silently beg for Harry to spill the beans. He looks like he's about to just that when Hannah interrupts.

"Another boys?" She asks picking up our empty glasses.

"Please Hannah." Harry says digging in his pockets for money.

She walks away and I look back at Harry. He looks like he's thinking something over but before I can ask what's wrong Hannah is back with our drinks. She puts them down collecting the money and heads back to the bar.

"Ok." Harry says as I'm lifting my drink. "If Hermione finds out I told you any of this she'll kill me and then I'll kill you. Got it?" I nod relived I could be getting some answers. "Her relationship with Ron was a weird one from the start. I never thought they were matched but she was in love with him, or she thought she was. She waited and waited for him while he fooled around with other girls. Then they kissed during the battle of Hogwarts and she thought everything was slotting into place." Harry stopped taking a sip of his drink. "Then everything settled down and Ron never made another move. Hermione wasn't one to make the move so things just stagnated. Then she boiled over and asked him what he wanted and he just ran away." Idiot, I think. "We didn't know about his drink problem then. It's got to be said though when we did find out, a lot of people blamed Hermione."

I opened my mouth to argue for her, but Harry stopped me putting his hand up. "I know it's illogical but people wanted someone to blame and at that point we didn't know when the drinking had started. I have to add neither I nor Ginny blamed Hermione." He sighed. "She came home and she hasn't spoken about it but I know she could feel the blame pouring out of people."

"Fuck." I said drinking again. That must have been hard on Hermione. "So she thinks her leaving Weasley drove him to drink?"

"Strike against relationships number one." Harry says.

"What's number two?" I ask I need to know more.

"Krum." He says simply. "She knows she broke his heart by leaving him to pursue her own wants and dreams. He didn't hide the fact from her either. Well this is from Ginny she hasn't actually spoke to me about her time in Bulgaria."

It all slots into place now. Her two serious relationships probably her only two the men have been hurt. She blames herself. I understand it all now she thinks somehow it would all fall apart and me, if not both of us would be hurt.

"How do you feel about her Draco?" I can see the curiosity all over his face.

I take deep breath. "I love her." I say.

Harry just nods before taking a sip of his fire whiskey.

"How do I help? How do I make her see it's not all like that?" I ask Harry.

"I have no Idea."

 **Sorry for the late update. Kids off school.** **J**


	15. Chapter 15

DRACO

I've been stuck in this hell hole for a month now. Its funny how I always wondered where about this place was and now I wish I didn't. It's fucking cold all the time I can't get warm. It's in this place surrounded by mountains. It never just rains, it's always snow.

I miss Hermione too. More than I care to admit. People thought I was miserable in school, they have no idea compared to now. Most nights I just sit staring at the fire. I really need to get myself out of this funk. It's ridiculous.

My talk with Harry cleared a lot of things up. I now think I know why Hermione is so against relationships. Then the struggle on how to solve the problem was keeping me awake. I'm still not ready to let her go just yet. I'm glad she can't see me in this state. It would only strengthen her resolve seeing me hurt.

I sigh and check the clock. Two in the morning. Shit. I really need to get some sleep. The first task starts in a week. There is still so much to finalise. Making sure everything will be safe while entertaining.

I have a fitful sleep. I look in the mirror and groan. Black circles are under my eyes and a stubble is starting to show. I need to prefect my glamour charm.

I've just got out the shower and thrown a pair of jeans on when the door to my room flies open. I look up to see Padma come walking in. Her eyes roam over me landing on my still bare chest.

"Well hello Draco."

"What the fuck Padma. Can't you learn how to knock?" I walk over to my draws and pull out a t-shirt.

"And miss the show?" She's grinning.

"Why are you here?" I ask as I pull on my t-shirt.

"You don't have to cover up on my account, you know." I sigh, she's like this all the time. It's so tiring.

"Can you just tell me why you just barged in?"

"Emergency meeting between the three Ministries. Something has gone wrong with the first task."

I look at her puzzled. "How did you hear about this before me?" Surely me being the senior member I would hear first.

"I was on my way here when I passed that little French boy from their ministry coming here. I told him I would pass the message on." She shrugs.

I'm suspicious, I don't completely trust her. At this point though I need to hurry up and get to this meeting.

It's a long day. Out of everything that could have gone wrong this was the worst. We'd worked long into the night trying to sort out the problem. We were almost there but we all agreed we should all get some sleep.

I walk Padma back to her room as we talk over the day's events. I feel tired, bone tired. I think I might actually sleep tonight.

"You wanna come in?" Padma asks when we get to her room. "I have a bottle of fire whiskey."

"No thanks." Although I feel like I could use the drink I'm not sure I could put up with Padma. "I really need to get my sleep."

"That's too bad." I lean back into the wall opposite her. "I could use the company."

I know how she feels. I just nod my comprehension.

"Ok then. Goodnight." She says but I know it's not as innocent as she makes it sound. She's planning something.

Before I can figure out what it is she's in front of me pulling my head down to hers. I'm so shocked I don't resist. Then hear lips meet mine and for a moment the contact feels good and I kiss her back. Then it hits me that these aren't the lips I want. I pull back.

"Padma, I..." I start but she stops me putting her finger to my lips.

"Don't worry about it Draco. I just wanted to see how your lips felt." She grins at me before she walks into her room and closes the door.

Seriously, what the fuck just happened? I mean I know she'd been flirting with me but I didn't think she would actually make a move. Especially when I never gave her the impression I liked her, in fact it was just the opposite. Every time she tried to flirt with me I brushed her off. I don't understand what made her kiss me.

I realise I'm still stood outside her door. I push myself to move and head towards my own room, these women mess with your head. The woman I want is pushing me away and the one I don't is jumping on me.

When I reach my room I'm convinced I won't sleep. After my brief hope I now have too much running through my head. I strip and just fall onto my bed. I close my eyes and try to clear my head.

I must have been tired because I actually did sleep. I have strange dreams though. Dreams of my mother and father. I haven't thought about them in a while, so why I dream of them I have no idea. It's strange how detached I feel from them. They're my parents. I think in their own way they do love me but I just can't bring myself to forget what they have done to me. Could I forgive them? I'm not sure for some things I suppose I already have.

My eyes fly open in the morning and I'm panting. I can't remember the specifics of my dream but I know it involved my parents. I try to pull the dream from my subconscious but the harder I try the further away if goes. Something scared me in the dream but what was it?

I check my clock and realise I'm going to be late for the meeting. I jump out of bed and clean myself up. I grab the first things that come to my hand as I'm getting dressed. Despite my strange dream I actually feel a little bit more normal than I have in a while. I think it's because I actually slept.

It's late again by the time the meeting finishes. This time though everything is ironed out. The first task is saved. Once again I'm bone tired. While trying out save the first task today I've also been trying to avoid Padma. I could see her out the corner of my eye trying to catch my attention. I ignored her unless it was necessary.

After all my efforts she catches me in front of everyone and asks me walk her back to her room. How can I say no with everyone watching?

We walk in silence all the way to her room. I feel awkward but she seems to be fine. I'm walking along my hands in my pockets while she's bouncing along as usual.

"You want that drink tonight?" She asks when we arrive at her room.

I'm about to say no when the overwhelming urge to be numb and forget the last few weeks, months. "Ok." I say before I change my mind.

She grins, turns and opens her door. I follow her in taking in her room. It's not much different from mine but she has tried to make it a little more homely. There are a couple bunches of flowers about the room and some colourful cushions.

I watch her from just inside her door after closing it. She walks in and kicks off her shoes and lets her hair down from the bun she had in. She reaches into a cabinet and brings out the fire whiskey with two glasses. She pours the drinks and passes one to me.

"Bottoms up." She says as she takes a sip of hers. I tip mine up and down it in one. "Thirsty?" She laughs and refills my glass.

I take the bottle from her and down my second glass just as quick. I look for a place to sit and find only the bed, as she has what I assume is laundry on her only chair. I sit down and pour my third glass. I look at Padma and see her smiling at me as she sips her own. This unnerves me and I down my third glass. It's horrible stuff. Hermione wouldn't appreciate it. Damn it. There I go again thinking about her.

I take a big gulp of my fourth. The lack of food and sleep has me feeling the effects already.

"Don't be so greedy." Padma laughs taking the bottle from me and refilling her glass.

I lie back and sigh rubbing my eyes. I feel the bed dip beside me but I don't look.

"I'm guessing you're so miserable because of a woman." I don't say anything I barely move. "It's not a huge leap Draco. You're a mess."

"Don't I know it?" I push myself up and finish my drink. Padma refills both our glasses.

"Who is it?"

"I'd rather not say." I don't want her to know. I can already imagine the rumours that would fly if she found out.

"You know that's not the way to curb my curiosity, right?" I laugh. I'm feeling better the alcohol is having the effect I want it to. "You know what they say about relationships ending right?"

"What would that be Padma?"

"Get back on the saddle." I look at her and she's grinning. She puts her hand my shoulder and moves it slowly down my arm. "I'd help you there."

My minds starting to become fuzzy and I watch slightly detached as she leans closer to me. She kisses me. It only takes me a second but I kiss her back. I can taste the fire whiskey on her tongue. I move my hand to her cheek and deepen the kiss. I pull away and look at her. Shit what am I doing? Do I really want to do this? I finish my drink and close my eyes.

Before I can think about it anymore Padma is climbing on to my lap. She doesn't give me a chance to object her lips on mine before I can react. My body takes over. I decide I don't want to think about anything anymore. I'm just going to let my body do what it wants and shut my brain off.

Padma moves her hands to my head and pushes me closer. She kisses me greedily and I do the same. I wrap my arms around her waist dropping my empty glass to the floor. I hear it smash but it doesn't filter through properly.

Padma reaches down and pulls my shirt off. She runs her hands over my chest before she kisses me again. I put my hand in her hair and pull gently so her head tilts up and I have access to her neck. I kiss and nip my way along her jawline. Padma moans and it almost makes me pause as a picture of Hermione flashes through my head. I push it down though. Hermione doesn't want me.

I let her hair go and move my hands to the hem of her dress. I slide it higher up her thighs and over her hips. I push her hips closer to me as I push my erection against her. She moans again and I pull her dress off her.

She eagerly helps me take it off. Her hands move to my chest as she kisses me and she pushes me down to the bed. Her hair frames my face. I brush my hands across her back and she breaks from my lips to kiss down my neck.

I've never really had a girl take control so much before. Hermione liked me to take the lead. No, I'm not thinking about her. I concentrate on Padma and her mouth on me as she travels lower, her hands on my buckle.

My pants and boxers are quickly removed and I spring free. Before I can process this properly I feel the hot warmth of her mouth envelope me. Sweet Salazar this feels good.

I let her carry on for a little while longer but I know if I let her do this for too long I won't last. I pull her up and kiss her before I flip her over and climb over her. She's removed her underwear without me even noticing. I reach down between her thighs and I feel how ready she already is. I kiss along her neck as I push two fingers inside her making her moan and arch into me. All thought of anything else leaves me.

I take my hand away and quickly push into her. Salazar it feels good. I set a steady rhythm and she's meeting me for each thrust. Her nails gently scape my back a she gets closer. I can feel her start to tighten around me. I feel the tingling in my back and I know I'm close too.

It's not long before she's calling out and I'm spilling into her. I lay there for a few seconds catching my breath before I roll off her and lay beside her.

I watch as Padma gets up and stretches. She's not that bad really. I don't want to start anything though and how do you tell a woman you've just slept with you don't want anything more?

Padma interrupts my thoughts. "Don't worry. I won't tell Hermione."

Wait, what? "Why would I worry about that?" My heart pounds. How did she know?

"Oh please. You think everyone in the office are idiots? It's so obvious you two had something going on."

Great, just great. "I thought you said you didn't know."

"I just wanted to see if you would tell me." She shrugs. I swallow and look at the ceiling. "I'm getting a shower you can stay or go. It's up to you."

I hear the door closes and I lay there for a second. So everyone knows. There was us thinking we'd kept the secret well. I shake my head to myself. I get dressed and leave.


	16. Chapter 16

DRACO

It's almost Christmas now. It's strange the longer I'm here the better I seem to feel. I don't know if that old proverb 'time heals' is coming true or if it's something to do with Padma. We've been spending more time together both in and out the covers. Neither of us want more. I know I've said that before, but this time I know it's true.

The first task is over and it surprises me that the Beauxbatons champion is ahead. She seems to be a timid girl but when it came to the task she proved to everyone how strong she was.

I'm sitting alone in my room when I hear a faint tapping on my window. I turn and look to see an unfamiliar owl. I wonder who it's from I only tend to get letters from Harry or Ginny. I quickly jump up and open the window letting the light brown owl glide in. It lands on my table and nips at my left over toast. I quickly make my way to retrieve the letter as the cold wind fills my warm room. I unravel the letter and the owl takes off again through my window and I close it behind him.

I quickly get back in front of the fire. The icy wind seems to linger even after such a short time. I finally look at the letter in my hands and my heart stutters. I know that writing. It's been a long time since I saw it but I recognise it as my mothers. Something must be very wrong for her to write to me.

I absently sit in my chair and wonder what it could be. It's been over two years since I heard from either of my parents. I take a deep breath and open the letter.

 _Draco,_

 _I know this letter must come as a shock to you, it has been so long. Unfortunately I'm writing with bad news. It's your father, he's very ill. The doctors at St. Mungo's say he has very little time left. I know that you and your father parted on less than happy terms but he is asking for you. I think he would like to make amends. I hope you will find it in your heart to appease a dying man and grant this wish for him. It would be nice to see you son. I hope this letter finds you quickly. I fear the time of your fathers passing is coming too quickly for me._

 _Your loving mother._

My father is sick? I read the letter three times over waiting for it to sink in. He is sick and he wants to see me. Do I want to see him? Should I go, even if I don't want to? A tumult of emotions fight within me. I do want to see him, if it's one last time before he dies. I'm not sure I can forgive him. His belief in one man's ideals almost ruined my life.

Despite all this it doesn't take me long to start packing my things away. It only takes a short time, I have very little here. I start the floo and travel to the Bulgarian Ministry. Even though it is very late they are very sympathetic and sort a portkey to the English Ministry within the hour.

Within an hour of leaving Bulgaria I'm stood outside The Manors grounds. I check my watch it's almost two in the morning. I think about going to a hotel for the night coming back in the morning. The thing is I can't seem to move. I'm stood there staring down the path, my mind blank. I think about what I should be feeling right now. It's been a long time since I was here, since I saw my parents.

I'm about to leave when I see a figure moving towards me a cloak billowing around them. I know this must be my mother and a sharp pang of panic springs up inside me and I almost aparate away, but I stand my ground shoving my hands into my pockets to hide my shaking hands.

A few seconds later she is stood behind the gates her face obscured by the hood of her cloak. She lifts it away from her face and I can see the years have not been kind to her. She has a sad look upon her face. She waves her wand and the gates disappear.

"Draco, you came." Her lips twitch as if she tried to smile but couldn't quite pull it off. I just nod. "Your father will be so grateful."

I keep my face as stoic as I can and take her in. Her hair is greying and she hasn't tried to conceal it. I'm shocked at how much older than her years she seems.

"Come." She says turning and walking away. I take a deep breath and follow. "I'm sorry things won't be quite as you remember it. We no longer have any house elves and I find the house rather large to take care of myself so we tend to stay in the one wing."

I walk silently behind her listening. I can't see any of the grounds in the dark only what little my mother's wand lights up. She pushes open the front door and I catch the faint smell of mould and damp. I crinkle my nose and wonder how my mother can cope with it.

"Your room is just as you left it." She turns around to face me. "You can go to your room now or you can see your father now."

"Is he awake?" My voice sounds horse even to my ears.

"He never really sleeps properly. I think he is afraid that he might not wake again." There is that weak twitch of a smile again.

"Might as well get it over with." I shrug and look at her. She seems nervous I've never seen her like this.

"Very well. Follow me." She takes off her cloak and hangs it up.

I watch her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath. She doesn't look at me as she walks towards the stairs and I follow. She stops at their bedroom door and turns to me. "Just wait here. I'll go tell him you have arrived."

I lean back against the wall opposite as she goes in. I can hear faint voices coming from inside but I can't make out what they are saying. I'm left outside for a few minutes and I'm starting to get restless. Then the door opens and my mother appears.

"He's ready to see you." She says and I push myself away from the wall.

As I go into the room I get hit with the musky smell of sweat and illness. My eyes land on my father. He's propped up with pillows, his usually porcelain looking skin now grey with illness his hair limp and stringy. He hadn't had a shave for at least a few days and his stubble is spotted with grey. I walk and stand at the end of his bed with my hands in my pocket.

"Draco, my son, you came." My father croaked out. I can tell he is suffering and I can't help but think, good.

"I did." I watch my mother out of the corner of my eye sit by my father's side and take his hand.

"I need to make things right with you before I go." He stops and takes a deep shuddering breath. "I shouldn't have chased you away." I can tell he's struggling even with these two short sentences. "Just because you lost your way."

"Fuck. I knew this was going to happen." I run my hands through my hair in frustration. "You don't want to make amends at all, Do you?"

"Son, I was only saying..."

"No, you weren't just saying you had to get one final stab in there." I take a deep settling breath. "I wasn't the one who lost my way."

"Ok I'm sorry." His breathing has become laboured and he holds up a hand in surrender. "Please, let's not argue."

I don't say anything, I don't trust myself.

"One of the reasons I called you here, is to discuss your fortune." He sags into the bed.

"I thought I didn't have a fortune anymore."

"Your father never meant any of that." My mother says still looking at my father.

"I'm sure he didn't." I say with sarcasm.

"You have a fortune Draco." He coughs. "But it has stipulations."

"I'm shocked."

"You must marry and create an heir." His pauses are getting longer his sentences shorter. "Within two years of my death."

"And if I don't?"

"Your fortune will be passed to the next male in our blood line." My mother finished for him.

"And if my wife happens to be muggle born, half blood or even a muggle?"

"Why would think about sullying our line like that?" My father's anger seeps through his weak voice.

"Because I happen to be in love with a muggle born."

My father's hand goes straight to his chest. "My son, and a muggle born."

"Lucius calm down." My mother tries to sooth him stroking her hand over his head. "Draco maybe you should come back tomorrow. Your room is ready for you."

I don't say anything I just turn and leave, slamming the door behind me. It's amazing what only five minutes in his presence can do to me. I reach my room not even remembering my route. I pace a few times before my anger reaches a peak and I punch my wall three times over. I collapse against the wall head in my hands tears running down my face. I wasn't aware I had started crying.

Seeing my father in such a state and still clinging to his idiotic ideals made me angrier that I thought possible. Not just angry, upset. Upset that he was literally on his death bed and was still had pureblood ideology. I probably shouldn't have told him about being in love with Hermione. I probably shouldn't tell him it is Hermione. I think that would really kill him off. I chuckle to myself.

I stretch my fingers out as I stand up. Blood is trickling from my knuckles, I don't care. I feel exhausted and collapse on my bed and almost immediately give in to sleep.

I wake the next morning with a dull ache in my head and in my hand. I groan as I stand up and take in my room. My mother was right, it is just as I left it. Even down to the quidditch posters on my wall. I feel like I've been thrown back in time and shake my head to feel better but it only makes my headache worse.

I summon my things from the front hall and search my bag, I'm sure I have a mild pain killing potion in here. I find it and take it quickly before heading to have a shower and change.

When I leave my room I head to my father. I stand outside his room for a minute before I build up the courage to go in again. I turn the knob and push the door open. When I take in the room he isn't alone. Beside from my mother there is another man in there. I watch as he checks my father's pulse and other vitals. I look over at my mother and see she is shaking and has tears in her eyes.

I walk over to her and take her hand in mine. My father may not be my favourite person but my mother lived for him. She grasps my hand tight and I feel for her.

"It won't be long now Mrs. Malfoy. I believe he will be gone by the end of the day." We both look at the healer. "I will leave a couple of potions with you to help make him comfortable. I'm sorry." He nods and leaves the room.

My mother releases a sob and I take her into my arms and let her cry into my shoulder. I've never seen her so uncomposed. My father releases a moan and my mother breaks free and goes to his side.

"Lucius? Lucius?" My mother strokes his face. My father opens his eyes weakly and looks at her.

"Cissa." My father's weak whisper comes. His fingers twitch but he seems too weak to reach her. My mother notices and takes his hand. She leans down and kisses his lips.

"Draco?" It's barely a whisper but I move forward.

"Yes father?"

"I have…missed you." His chest heaves and I hear his breath wheeze. "Please…forgive me."

His eyes meet mine and in that moment I can only say "I forgive you father."

 _Sorry for the extremely late update!_


	17. Chapter 17

Shit. I completely lose my balance and I crash into the table in front of me. Glasses smash and drinks spill, the table turns over.

"What the fuck?" A male voice filters through my drink addled mind. "Did he just come out of the fireplace?"

"Draco Malfoy, What the fuck?" I smile, there's the voice I wanted to hear.

"C'mon Granger," I slur. "Don't be angry."

"You know this guy?" I turn my gaze to the guy who spoke. The only thing that registers is the fact he has no shirt on. Shit.

"Yes." An angry Hermione answers.

"Listen I must be more drunk than I thought, because I could swear he came out of that fireplace." His hands run through his hair. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"Sorry dude. I came out the fireplace." I laugh to myself.

"This shit is messed up I'm out."

"No wait." Hermione's voice pleads.

"Just let the muggle go Granger." I lift my hand up and notice blood pouring from my hand. "Fuck."

"What the fucks a muggle?" The guy is dressed now and grabbing his coat.

"He's just drunk let me get him to leave and then we can talk." Hermione begs.

"No way." He turns and leaves slamming the door behind him.

I return my attention to my hand. It's bleeding pretty badly. I reach for my wand and point at the cut. Squinting at my hand I can't concentrate on the cut its blurring too much.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asks.

"I'm bleeding." I look at her.

"For fuck sake." She moves to a set of draws by her couch and removes her wand. "You'll make it worse the state your in."

She takes my hand in hers and silently casts a healing charm. A warm feeling spread across my palm. I don't look though I'm concentrating on her face. That beautiful face I've missed so much. I take my other hand and cup her face. She's startled and looks at me shocked. Her eyes wide.

"I missed you." It falls out if my mouth before I can stop it.

"Draco, I…" She begins but I stop her moving my hand to her lips.

"It's ok."

"Draco, why are you here?"

I look at her for a moment then the tears fall. It's so undignified. I'm actually sobbing. I grab her head and bring her head to me so her forehead is touching mine. I see the worry in her eyes. Her hand moves to my hair, trying to sooth.

"My father." I manage to say. I close my eyes. Grabbing on to her tighter. "He died."

"Draco. I'm so sorry." She scoots closer wrapping her arms around me. It feels so good.

"I don't even like him." I cry harder. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"But you love him anyway." She whispers. My arms wrap around her too.

We stay like this for a while. Her hands stoking my hair comforting me. I'm not sure how long it is but eventually my eyes start to drift close.

I jump awake. My eyes feel gritty, my head pounding and my mouth is like cotton wool. Where am I? I take in my surroundings. I don't recognise where I am for a moment, then it hits me. I'm at Hermione's. Everything starts to come back to me slowly. I put my head in my hands and groan. I'm on her couch, she managed to repair the damage I did last night.

I hear her in, what I presume is the kitchen. I pull out my wand and perform a quick scourgify before I make my way towards her.

I stand in the doorway, her back is facing me and I realise she's washing the dishes the muggle way. For some reason this makes me smile. She's wearing a tank top and shorts, her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head. When she turns around she jumps and puts her hand to her chest.

"I didn't hear you." I mutter an apology. "Do you want a coffee?"

"Yes please." My voice sounds gravely and I cringe.

"Black one sugar, right?" I grin at her and nod. She remembered.

I wonder over to the kitchen table and take a seat. Seconds later she's handing me my coffee and taking a seat next to me.

"I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me."

"It's ok. I understand." She makes herself comfortable bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her hands around her tea. "People do strange things when they are grieving."

"I don't find it strange I came to you for comfort. I'm just embarrassed I came drunk and made a fool of myself." I clear my throat. "And I obviously interrupted something."

I watch the blush rise on her face as she stares into her coffee. "It's ok. I didn't really know him." She shrugs her shoulders.

"Are you telling me Hermione Granger was about to have a one night stand?" Jealousy stabs me and I try to hide it behind a smile.

She shifts uncomfortably. Now I feel bad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

It's quiet for a moment before she speaks again. "I really am sorry about your father."

"I have mixed emotions about it at the moment. I'm not sure it's sunk in properly." I shrug.

She reaches over and grabs my hand, her touch instantly comforting. I grab on tight and run my thumb over the back of her hand.

I should tell her how I feel. I should tell her what I want. I should tell her everything that is going on in my head, my heart.

"Hermione." I begin, but before I can carry on she's out of her seat, freeing my hand.

"I'm going to see Harry and Ginny soon if you want to join me." She's at the sink rinsing out the cups.

I sigh and I know that the moment has gone I can't talk to her now. "No. I should be getting back to my mother. She locked herself away in a spare bedroom last night and I should make sure she's ok."

"I understand. Do you want me to tell them? About your father?"

"Please. Tell Harry I'll get in touch later." I stand up. I suddenly feel awkward. "Maybe I'll see you soon."

"Of course." She turns and smiles. I can tell it's a nervous smile though.

We say our goodbyes and then I floo back to The Manor.

HERMIONE

I fall back onto the couch and sigh when Draco leaves. The attraction was still there. I could feel it thrum through me even as he crashed drunk into my front room. The moment I saw him my skin tingled.

He was right I was about to have a one night stand. I'd decided I would move on. That would I have been the first step and just as it's about to happen, Draco appears. I mean what are the odds?

I didn't really have any plans to go see Harry and Ginny but now I should. They need to know about Draco and his father. We will all need to be there for him.

I knew what he was about to do. It vibrated off him. I was completely torn between wanting him and wanting to protect myself and him.

I climbed into the shower and thought about the fact Draco was suddenly back in my life even if it was for a short while. I was happy. I had missed him too. Sometimes I regretted the decision to send him away, then sometimes I was sure it had saved my sanity.

An hour later I'm with Harry and Ginny. After telling them about Draco's father they were torn between waiting for Draco to get in touch and going to him for support. I didn't relish the idea of going to The Manor but I would, for Draco.

In the end we decided to owl Draco and tell him we were here for him if he needed us. We didn't want to interrupt the time with his mother.

Ginny and I were in the kitchen drinking tea and talking about last night.

"So he just crashed into the front room pissed as you were getting it on with a muggle?" Ginny tried to bite back the smile that was forming on her lips.

I put my head in my hands with a groan. "He was so freaked out. He just ran." I look up at Ginny through my hands.

"Hardly surprising, is it?" I shook my head.

"Poor Draco." I said warming my hands on my mug. "He's so conflicted."

"Again, hardly surprising. I just hope he doesn't bottle it all up." Ginny looked at me over her coffee. "How do you feel about him being back?"

"I'm glad he's back. I just wish this wasn't the reason, for his sake." If he wasn't Draco's father I couldn't have cared less. "It's just going to be hard seeing him I think."

"Well if you need to talk I'm here." She smiled at me. "I think you two would be good for each other."

"Ginny..." I started but she cut me off.

"I understand you have reasons." Ginny took a breath. "I'm just going to say this. Draco isn't the person we knew in school far from it. You both have issues to work through I just think you should work through them together. You could make each other stronger, happier"

I smiled a weak smile at her. I don't know what to say to that.

"I'll make sandwiches." She said jumping to her feet.

I sit and watch her at the counter, thinking over what she said. Could we really work out? Could I really push away my insecurities and make things work?

Just when all these things are running through my head. Draco appears in the doorway. My breath hitches when I see him. Somehow he looks worse than he did this morning.

"Is that food I see?" He smiles at Ginny.

"Draco." She rushes up and hugs him. "I'm so sorry."

I watch him hug her back and irrationally I feel jealous. I shake myself this is Ginny. I need serious help.

"You want food?" She asks pulling away.

"Yes please." He laughs. "There's nothing at The Manor."

She runs back to the counter and his eyes finally fall on me. I smile weakly at him pulling on my sleeves. He takes a seat next to me and I relish the feel of that small amount of closeness. I reach out and run my hand over his arm as much for me as for him.

The rest of the day went by with Draco coming and going. He took a sandwich for his mother. He said she wouldn't think she would eat it but he might as well try.

As much as I wanted to stay by Draco's side over the next few days I had work to do. It was enough to keep me busy and stop me fretting over Draco. That was until I was in line at the canteen.

"So have you heard from Padma?" It was Romilda Vane talking to Lavender Brown.

"Oh I've heard from Padma all right." Lavender laughed.

"Oh there's gossip is there? Will I be reading it in the column or are you going to spill the beans?"

Lavender wrote for the Daily Prophet gossip column. She was really good at digging up all kinds of things. You never wanted to be on the end of one of her crusades.

"She made me promise not to put it in." I heard the sulkiness in her voice. "But I'm going to tell you."

"Ok so spill it." I could see the excitement in Romlida's eyes.

"Well we all know she's in Bulgaria, poor thing, and we all know who with." At that point my ears pricked up.

"Draco Malfoy, right?" My heart rate quickened.

"Yup." Lavender had a quick look around trying to make sure no one was listening I turned my attention to the sandwiches to my right. "Well she said they've been sleeping together almost since the day he got there."

My heart plummeted. Suddenly my appetite had disappeared.

 _Sorry for the late update. Had a bit of writers block with this story. :s Hopefully i can update again soon._


	18. Chapter 18

The morning of the funeral was the day after I'd overheard that conversation. Harry, Ginny and I had decided we would all meet there early and help Draco with anything he needed.

I made my way to The Manor. When I arrived at the gates a shiver of dread ran through me. I hadn't been here since the snatchers brought us here and Draco's aunt Bellatrix tortured me. It took me a few minutes to push back the memories and dread. I focused on the fact Draco would need us today.

I pushed through the gates and walked towards The Manor. Draco must have seen me coming because he was at the door before I reached it. His shoulders slumped, his posture seemed defeated. When I saw him I couldn't help but think of Padma.

"Hi." He said as I reached him.

"How are you doing?" I reached out and hugged him.

"Not too bad." He shrugged. "I still haven't seen my mother this morning. I don't know what to do."

He was leading me through The Manor. He reached his kitchen and he pulled two mugs from the cupboard. I smiled as I watched him make my tea without asking how I liked it.

"I'm not even sure if she will even make it to the funeral."

"I'm sure she will come around." I leaned back against the kitchen counter. "When you love someone as much as your parents did it's bound to be hard when one loses the other."

I'd hardly blinked when Draco moved and trapped me in between his arms. His hands on either side of me leaning on the counter. He never said anything for a moment, his eyes boring into mine. Then he moved his hand cupped my cheek.

"I'm so glad you're here." He whispered.

I almost reached out and brought him closer, then my own self destructive behavior took over. "Have you spoken to Padma about this?"

He stiffened. "Why would I talk to Padma?"

He knew, I knew. I could tell. "You two spent so much time together over there. Surely you got close."

His jaw tightened. "You know." I nodded.

"Hermione, what you need to realize is I was going through a terrible time after our breakup." He took a deep breath. "She was there and things… happened."

I moved my head away I couldn't look at him. The worst thing is I know I'm being irrational. Like he said we were broke up. He used his hand and turned my face back to him. I bit my lip trying not to let the tears fall.

"I want us to be together, Hermione." His thumb stroked my cheek. "I want us to be all in together. We can work through all our troubles _together_. I can be here for you. Let me heal you Hermione." Both his hands were now cupping my face his fingers in my hair. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore Hermione. I'm so in love with you I can't think straight. Ever since we first kissed I can't think of anyone else. Don't let me go this time Hermione. Stay with me."

I was silent. He had just poured his heart out and I was completely still. He took advantage of my silence and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes flutter close and I kiss him back. He moves closer to me one of his hands moving to my lower back pulling me closer. His tongue coaxes my mouth open and he deepens the kiss. I feel my need for him ignite. I wrap my arms around his neck, my hands in his hair bringing him closer.

He pulled away putting his forehead to mine out of breath. "Tell me that means you want that too."

I do. I do want this too. But can I push all my insecurities away. He seemed to read my mind. "We can work through anything together. If you want to."

I looked at him, looked into his eyes. "What about when I freak out, because I will." It was inevitable.

"How many times, Hermione?" He kissed me. "We'll work it out together. As long as we talk to each other. We can work it out."

I bite my lip looking at him. How can I think straight with him right there? Drowning me. He kisses my jaw and my skin lights up.

"Just gives us a try Hermione." His kisses move along my throat. I can't help the whimper that escapes me. "Please Hermione."

"Yes." I say before I can rethink any of it. His lips feel so good.

He claims my lips again. I throw myself into the kiss. Deciding if I'm going to do this I'm going the whole way. Draco lifts me up so I'm sitting on the counter and he's standing in between my legs. His hands stroke my back and I wrap my legs around him. His hands find my thighs and gently push up my dress.

"Do you really think this is appropriate right now?" I start and push Draco away before jumping down from the counter. Narcissa Malfoy had interrupted us.

Draco sighs and turns around. "Good morning mother." He reached round and grabs my hand. "You've finally decided to leave your room."

I hide behind Draco and he squeezes my hand. "You didn't think I would miss my own husband's funeral did you?"

"Of course not mother. Your timing is as impeccable as ever." I her the sarcasm in his voice.

"Are you going to introduce me to your… friend?" She asked.

Draco tightens his grip on my hand in reassurance. Then moves aside so I can see and be seen. I see Narcissa stiffen as her gaze runs over me. She looks as impeccable as ever.

"So this is the mudblood you were telling your father about?"

"Mother." Draco growled his voice deep with warning.

"Miss Granger, isn't it?" She says lifting her face as if she's looking down her nose at me.

I stand up straighter at that and nod. "Mrs. Malfoy. I'm sorry for your loss." I wasn't going to be dragged down into this, not today anyway.

She didn't say anything. She just looked at us and our entangled fingers. The tension was growing.

"People will be arriving soon." Draco said.

"I'll go make sure everything is ready." She turned and walked away.

I felt myself relax as she retreated. Draco pulled me to his side and kissed my head. "That went well."

"Maybe we should keep our distance today. I don't want to cause trouble." I begin to pull away.

"Hell no. I need you by my side today." He tangled his hand in my hair and brought his head to mine. "I'm not letting you leave me again Hermione not even for a day. I don't want you to overthink any of this."

I bite my lip. My mind was already beginning to spin and wonder why I had agreed. He pulls my lip free and places a soft kiss there instead.

"Just stay with me today please? We can talk properly tonight." He searches my eyes. "I just need you with me today."

I can hear the pleading in his voice, see it on his face. I reach up and run my fingers over his cheek. "I can do that." I reach up on my tip toes and place a light kiss on his lips.

"Thank you." He breathes.

The whole day he hardly let me leave his side. The whole time he was holding my hand. Through the funeral he stood in between me and his mother. Narcissa was completely stoic through the whole day. Only smiling when it was necessary. She had her game face on, hardly showing any emotion.

I had to endure the stares too. We seemed to be the focus of everyone's attention. Most of them coming from people who were clearly not happy about Draco and me. I could practically hear all the whispers flying around the room. I tried to keep a composed face trying to pretend it didn't bother me to be able to almost feel their judgement. I feel him tighten his grip on my hand occasionally and I'm grateful.

He finally lets me go at one point so he can speak to his mother. Immediately I'm joined by Ginny. "So… you and Draco?"

"Um, yes." I know she's digging for details but it's all happened so fast I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

"What's wrong?" She asks putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know. It's just happened so fast." I have a small fear that he only wants me so badly because his father has just passed and his emotions are all over the place. "I'm not sure this is the best time for him to start a relationship."

"Draco loves you, Hermione." We both move our gazes to Draco, who is clearly having a hated talk with Narcissa. "Only a fool can't see that. I think he fell in love with you as soon as he saw you again. If not before."

"Ginny, don't be absurd. We hated each other in school." She must have meant then because that was the last time we had seen each other.

"You obviously haven't heard him talk about you at school." I look at her. She's lost it. "I mean it Hermione. Stop trying to think your way out of this. You should give him a chance."

Just then Draco joined us wrapping his arm around me and kissing my head. "Are you ready to go?" Relief washed over me as I nodded.

"That's also our cue to go too." Ginny smiled and left to find Harry.

Draco grabbed my hands in his again. "Can we go to your place?"

"Yes, sure."

The time alone would be good. Maybe I could talk to him and clear my own head, my own worries. I very much doubt it though when I'm alone with him nothing else matters, all my cares and worries disappear almost.

DRACO

We are sat on Hermione's couch, we've just finished eating and I can feel the tension coming off her. I need to ease her. The only thing is I'm not sure what else I could possible say.

"Come here." I say. I put a little bit of authority into my tone hoping she won't say no.

She bites her lip but slowly she makes her way towards me. She's taking too long so I grab her and pull her so she's straddling my lap. She gasps at the quick movement.

I run my fingers over her cheeks. "You're so beautiful." I whisper. It's true sometimes I can hardly bare to look at her.

She hits me playfully on the shoulder. "Draco." I can't believe how shy she is when I tell her things like this. The mighty Hermione Granger shy of a compliment.

"We should talk about what happened today." I say. I need to get this over with I need to for her to see I'm not letting her go again.

"About which part exactly?" She's not looking at me.

I put my finger under her chin and pull her face to look at me. "About when you said you give us a try." The look in her eyes confirms my thoughts that she was having doubts. "Have you changed your mind?" It's not a question I want to ask, fearing the answer.

"It's not that exactly." Her gaze moves away from mine again and she's pulling on the long sleeves of the shirt she changed into when she got home.

"Then what is it?" I run my hands over her nervously.

"I'm scared." It's almost a whisper, I almost missed it.

"What are you scared of?" I move my hand up and cup her cheek. Her vulnerability right now is charming. I never thought I would see her this way.

"You." She looks at me.

I have nothing to say to that. Why would she be scared of me? Surely I've shown her how much I love her. Surely I've shown her I've changed from our childhood. My hand drops from her face and my emotions must play on my face.

"No Draco. It's not in the way you think it is." She grabs my hand and entwines our fingers. "It's just when I'm around you I get so consumed in you. Nothing else matters apart from you. I'm scared I'll lose myself in you. I'm afraid if I do you won't want me anymore."

I'm looking at her face and she's looking at our hands. That was her problem she thought she loved me too much? For a second I'm glad she's not looking at me because I feel the idiotic grin on my face. I wipe it off.

"Hermione look at me." I wait a few seconds before she does. "I won't let that happen and I'm pretty sure if I did let that happen you would hate me forever and that I do not want!"

I cup my hand behind her neck and bring her forward kissing her. Sweet Salazar I love how she tastes. I coax her lips open so I can explore better. I moan in protest when she pulls away.

"If we're talking there is one more thing." I think I know what she's referring to but I wait for her to say it, "Padma is a problem for me. I might be being irrational, but that's how I feel."

I was right. "Well luckily for you I'm pretty sure I've thought of a solution."

She arches her eyebrows at me. "Oh really."

"Yes." I nod. "I'll just stay here and she can stay there. You've said for a while you thought we should have representative in the games department. We promote Padma to that position which also solves the problem of the Bulgarians wanting a senior official." I smile at her.

I'd thought of it today. It just hit me in the middle of the funeral how much I didn't want to leave Hermione again and how I needed to find a solution. Then all of a sudden the idea came to me.

I look at her and her face splits into a huge grin and I know she likes the idea. "That's a good idea."

Before I can answer her she's kissing me. Kissing me with love and want. I kiss her back with equal vigor. This is our first night back together and I'm not going to waste it.

A/N: So sorry for late upday=temy computer broke :( Hope everyone is still enjoying thnaks


	19. Chapter 19

HERMIONE

I've been with Draco four months now. We put his idea into action almost straight away. When I spoke to Padma she was happy with the promotion and would do her best to keep things up there. To be honest I knew she would. She's always been a hard worker. As pathetic as it sounds I just didn't want her near Draco.

The good and the bad in my relationship with Draco is I feel like I couldn't be happier. It's good because I'm happy but it's bad because I'm constantly thinking something is going to change that. I look at him and sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am. He treats me like a queen. Everything seems to be slotting into place in my life. Not just in my relationship with Draco but in work too. The department has come on so much since I had to take over. People are no longer talking about why it was closed but how good it has become. Draco and I are a force to be reckoned with.

When Draco came back from Bulgaria he had nowhere to stay he could have moved back in with Harry and Ginny but now they were married he said he just felt awkward. So we decided he would stay with me till her found his own place. He's still there. He looked for the first few weeks then we just decided he should stay. I love waking up to him in the morning.

It didn't take long for the gossip mill at work to figure out that Draco and I were together. A couple of weeks into the New Year and we were in Lavenders gossip column. I had been so angry at it. I think it was more the head line, you could have predicted it no originality at all. _War heroine and former death eater dating._ It had took a while for Draco to calm me down. He said everyone would have found out eventually, so what if it was in Lavenders column. The thing I was grateful for was there was no mention of Padma.

Over these last few months I had also become closer to Ron again. There was no romantic feeling there for either of us, just friendship. It was good to be speaking to him again. He was my go to guy for when I needed to talk these days. Ginny was busy with Quidditch and Harry at work. Sometimes I needed someone other than Draco too.

"So how's the new place?" I ask Ron at lunch.

"My mum is still hovering around." He huffs and slumps in his chair. "I'm seriously thinking about putting up a floo and apparition block. She'll kill me but it's like she's expecting to find me drunk and passed out."

I can't help but laugh. "You should. In all seriousness Ron, I know your mum is probably trying to help but I think you need your space again."

"I don't think, I know." He rubs his hand over his face. "I've tried to talk to her but she just brushes me off or changes the subject. I just don't want to upset her."

"I think for your own sanity, you should do it. Tell her you'll take them down when you think it's the right time for you, not her." I take sip of my tea and laugh. "She'll hate me even more when she finds out I encouraged you."

"Mum doesn't hate you." He says sitting back up straight.

"I beg to differ." Molly hadn't spoken to me properly since I got back from my travels she still blames me for Ron's drink problem. "Draco gets invited to dinner all the time. I'm never mentioned."

"You always come to dinner." Hs says.

"Yeah I Gatecrash." I see his sceptical look. "Seriously there isn't a seat for me when I go she always has to get one."

"I've never noticed." He looked at his empty plate. "The woman can hold a grudge."

"Tell me about it." It was strange for Molly to think this way about me but it seemed it was something I was going to have to live with. "I'm meeting Draco and Teddy soon if you want to join us."

"Gotta love that kid." Ron laughed. "How is he doing?"

"Great." I smiled back. I love spending time with Draco and Teddy. "So are you in?"

"No. I think I'll just go home." I got the feeling he was hiding something.

"Why? What's up?" I ask starting to gather my things up.

"I just get the feeling Malfoy and I are better apart." He just shrugged as he stood to pick up his jacket.

"How come?" I think a lot of water has passed since the end of the war and people are better for it.

"I just think too much has happened between us." I stood up with him. "Then there's you."

"Me?" Oh Godric I hope this isn't about to be something I don't want it to be.

"I just think that there's too much bad blood and then there's the fact that I am basically your ex-boyfriend who you hang out with a lot now. Last time we were all together I just got a vibe."

"You're going mental Ron." I didn't think he could be serious about this but then you never know. It would be something I would keep my eye out for.

We said our goodbyes outside the restaurant and went our separate ways. I headed for The Leaky Cauldron and Diagon Alley. It was hard to find places to take Teddy. He was still finding it hard to control his metamorphosis. Andromeda was trying to find a wizard day-care but they were all full. We were looking after Teddy more often now.

Before I realised it I had reached Diagon Alley and saw Draco and Teddy at Fortescue ice cream shop. I shook my head and smiled Draco could never deny him anything. Draco looks up and waves me over smiling.

We spend the afternoon spoiling Teddy and taking him to the park. As we watch him I bring up the subject of Ron with him.

"He thinks I don't like him because he's your ex?" Draco laughed.

"Why is that so funny?" I ask.

"If anything I should be thanking him." I look at him curiously. "If he hadn't screwd up in the first place, no offense to Ron, I wouldn't be sitting with you now."

He gives me a wink and I laugh too. "Do you have a problem with him though?"

"Would it bother you if I did?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't think so." I shake my head. Of course I would like them to get along but I could cope if they didn't. I mean they are not often in the same room anyway.

"Then don't think on it." He put his arm around me and brought me closer. I can't help but think about it though. I bite my lip and watch Teddy. Draco laughs. "I'm kidding. I wouldn't do that to you. I don't have a problem with Ron. Honestly. Maybe I should make more of an effort with him if you think I should."

"No. He will just think I told you to." I check my watch. "Andromeda will be at the flat soon we should get going."

DRACO

It has been a great few months. I really can't remember being happier. Everything is slotting into place. People have noticed too. Even my mother has commented and made the observation that if Hermione is making me this happy maybe she isn't so bad after all.

Thinking on my mother I must go visit her at the new apartment I insisted she rent. The Manor needs so much work done to it. I convinced her to move out while everything is being sorted. I even got her a house elf. Hermione wasn't too pleased but this was something I had to do for my mother. In all honesty I was hoping she would grow to love the flat and want to stay there. It's not like I want to move into The Manor or anything like that, it was just that place held too many bad memories for me and I would rather stay away.

I had tried to repeatedly to get my Mother to come to lunch or dinner with Hermione and me but she was having none of it. Even Hermione was up for it. She didn't revel in the idea but she would do it for me.

I'm thinking on this as I head back to my office after a meeting with Hermione. If you can call it a meeting. I smile to myself. It was more like a snogging session. We had planned on doing some actual work but for some reason we couldn't keep our hands off each other. It would have gone on longer if she didn't have someone coming to see her. I cant wait I get her home.

"Mr. Malfoy you have a guest in your office who refused to wait outside. I'm sorry sir." My assistant Blake said as I reached him.

"That's no problem Blake. Do we know who it is?" I'm curious I've never had anyone do this to me before.

"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy she refused to give her name."

She? I have no idea who it could be. It briefly crosses my mind that it could be my Mother but I don't think she would ever come to my office. I walk to my door and push it open. I freeze as I see who it is.

"Long time Draco." Padma says. I can't believe she's here.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I close the door behind me. The last thing I want is for Hermione to see her. Everything has been going so well for us.

I take her in. She's not in her usual tight clothes but she looks good.

"Such a nice greeting Draco." Padma bites at me.

"I'm sorry Padma. It's just a shock to see you here that's all." I say as I make my way to my desk and put my files down.

"Why the Tri-wizard tournament finished at the weekend." She crosses her arms. "Were you thinking I would stay in Bulgaria? Did you want to keep me your dirty little secret?"

"No." I bite back. "I just hadn't realised the tournament had finished. That's your department now."

"And why do I feel like you had something to do with that little promotion?" Something is up and I can't figure out what.

"Do you not want the promotion? I'm sure Hermione and I can find a replacement."

"Ah yes. You and Hermione." She takes a seat opposite me. "I heard about that. Does she know about me?"

"Yes." I say there is definitely something else going on here. "Why did you come to see me Padma?"

She takes a deep breath and for some reason it sets my pulse racing.

"I'm pregnant."


	20. Chapter 20

DRACO

I left work early. I couldn't stick around there not with what Padma had just told me. I'm staring into my third fire whiskey and it's all still just floating around in my brain. I need to figure out what I'm going to say to Hermione. It's not like this is something I can keep a secret. In a few months it's going to be obvious.

I put my hands in my hair and pull at it trying to dull the rest of the pain that was rushing through me. Why did this have to happen now? I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to be someone's father. I've only just lost my own. He wasn't the best example of what a good father is meant to be.

I run over our conversation in my head again.

"I'm sorry?" She did not just say what I thought she said.

"I'm pregnant." She pauses. "And before you ask, yes it's yours, and yes I'm sure."

"When?" it's the only thing I think to ask.

"When what? When am I due? When did it happen?" She let's out a frustrated sigh. "I got pregnant at the end of November and their due in August."

I look at her and she's not looking at me. She seems to be just as embarrassed as I am shocked. I'm completely aware I'm staring but I can't seem to move.

"I have an appointment in two weeks to find out the sex and check everything is OK." She looks at me then. "I thought you might want to know. In case you wanted to come. I wouldn't mind. I mean they're your baby too."

She's babbling, talking fast unable to hide her nervousness. I just nod. None of this is processing properly.

"I understand it's a shock to you Draco." She stands up. "I just thought you should know."

I stand up to my manners ingrained in me. "Thanks for telling me."

"Listen Draco." She runs her hand over, what I now see is a small bump. "It's ok if you don't want anything to do with the baby. I just ask one thing." I look at her waiting. "Just tell me early. I don't want to start to believe I'm not doing this on my own if you're just going to leave us."

"Ok. Listen, Padma. I'm sorry about my reaction, it's just a complete shock for me." I gain a little control and walk up to her. "I just need time to process it properly."

"I understand." She smiles weakly at me. "I'll give you time to process. I'll owl you the scan details and you can decide if you want to be there."

She left after that and it wasn't long before I left myself. I run through the conversation again. I can't not be a part of my child's life. I'd be worse than my father. I need to be there for both of them. But would it mean losing Hermione.

I drink down what little I have left in my glass and take a quick glance at the clock. Hermione will be home shortly and I have no idea how to tell her. One of the things Hermione was adamant about was Padma wouldn't be part of his life anymore. Now she will always be there. Always in the back ground.

I get up and pour myself another glass. I walk aimlessly around the room not taking anything in, not really thinking at all. Suddenly I hear the floo arrive and my heart begins to pound.

"Draco?" Hermione calls from the living room somehow I find myself in the bedroom. I turn and head back to the living room slowly.

"There you are?" She says with a smile. "Why did you leave early?"

I watch her feeling slightly detached from everything. She's talking as she removes her coat and puts her things down but I'm not really taking it in.

I can't help the overwhelming feeling that when I tell her this, I'll lose her. I put my drink down and I practically March over to her. I take her head in my hands and kiss her. I try to pour everything I feel for her into the kiss. All the love I feel for her. Because this is going to hurt her more than anything.

HERMIONE

This kiss is different somehow. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's aggressive. I feel like he's trying to work something out and I let him.

His kiss starts to become gentler and now I feel like I can relax a little bit. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him back. He pulls me closer, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

I can't help the need that his kiss starts to build. I'm grabbing his hair in my hands. I'm matching him now and heat spreads throughout me.

I push him to the couch and push him down, quickly straddling him and kissing him again. Our hands run over each others body taking each other in. His hands tangle in my hair keeping me in place for him to kiss me. My lips feel bruised.

I reach for the buttons on his shirt. Then suddenly he pulls away. "No, Hermione. Wait."

We're both panting, catching our breath. I look at him curiously. Why should we stop? I can tell he wants me too.

"I need to talk to you." I run my hands over his chest and over his shoulders, feeling his body underneath.

"We can talk later." I say leaning down again to take lips.

He kisses me back but it feels different. I reach for his shirt buttons again but this time he grabs hold of my wrists to stop me.

"Draco." I say in frustration. He's starting to irritate me now.

"I need to talk to you, now." Something in his voice puts me on edge.

"What's wrong?" my pulse starts to race for different reasons now.

"Padma came to see me today." I'm taken aback and I relax my hands and Draco let's them go. I wait for him to finish. "She's pregnant."

I don't know what it is but I can't stop the laugh that builds. It escapes from my mouth and I sound hysterical. I laugh like this for a minute while a look of utter confusion is stuck on Draco's face.

"I knew it." I say as my laughter turns into sobs. Tears running down my face freely. "I fucking knew it!" I scream it.

I push myself away from Draco none too gently and stand up. I knew something had to go wrong. You would think, after everything we had all been through in our short lives, we could have some semblance of happiness. But no of course not something had to change.

"Hermione." Draco whispered standing slowly, eyes on me.

I can't look at him right now. Sobs wrack my body. Why did this have to happen? He puts his hand on my shoulder and I shove him away. I can't have him touching me right now.

"Talk to me Hermione." His voice is almost a whisper. I turn to look at him and I see the worry in his eyes.

"What do you want me to say Draco? Congratulations." He flinches when I say that. "You're going to be dad."

A sudden urge to just runaway fills me and I don't want to deny it. I look around the room for a second trying to compose my thoughts. I take in the home we've made together over the last few months and anther sob escapes me. The tears won't stop. I head to our bedroom and summon an overnight bag. I begin to throw things in there that my racing mind tries to tell me I might need.

"Hermione." Draco comes in behind me. "Hermione, stop!" I don't stop I can't I need to get out of here. "Look at me Hermione please."

I carry on moving around the room putting things into the bag. Then suddenly I feel him tug on my arm and pull me to him. His hands are on my arms, grasping me tightly. I still don't look at him. "Look at me."

I hear the pleading in his voice and I can't stop myself from bringing my gaze to his. I see the pain written all over his face. "Don't leave me." He says his voice breaking as he does.

"I have to go. I need to think this through." I try to pull away but his grip is strong.

"Let's do that together. Remember Hermione?" He asks and I see his eyes well. "We can work through anything together."

I shake my head. I can't be around him right now. I need some space to think about all this. I see his mind turning trying to think of things that might make me stay. Then he crushes his lips to mine. His kiss was full of panic and need and I kiss him back briefly. My body betraying how my mind wants to react.

I pull away. "Stop." I say. I'll never be able to think clearly with him so close.

He puts his forehead to mine. His body sags resigned to the fact I need to do this. "Don't go." He says but before I can argue he interrupts me. "I'll go."

He releases me and takes a step back, his eyes on the floor. "No I need to leave here." There are too any things in this flat that remind me of him. "I need some space."

He just nods his acceptance. It takes me a few seconds to move. When I do I race for the bag zipping it up and pulling it with me. I make my way to living room trying not to look at Draco. I might break again. I silently pull on my coat and grab my purse. Before I reach the door I take one look back I can't help it.

The pain on his face is visible. "Hermione." His tone is begging and it tugs me to stay. "I… Just..." He stammers. I turn and reach for the door. "I love you."

They are the last words I hear as I close the door behind me. It takes everything in me to move forward. To put one foot in front of the other. The pain in my chest is overwhelming.

I walk down my street not taking in how busy it still is, or the stares that people are throwing my way. I'm not trying to hide my tears, I can't hold them back.

After a few minutes of this mindless walking, I take a look around at my surroundings. I'm not entirely sure where I am. It hits me then that I don't really have a place to go. I just stand there in the street for a few minutes before I think of one place I can go. I look around and find a secluded alley way. I head down and when I'm sure no-one can see I aparate.


	21. Chapter 21

HERMINONE

When my feet landed and the room came into focus in front of me, I dropped my bags and fell to my knees. I let my tears fall. I let the pain engulf me. I felt like I needed to hit something. I balled my fists and punched the floor repeatedly. Each punch made me feel a little bit better.

"Hermione!" A shouting voice filtered through my haze. I looked up to see Ron looking down at me, worry clouding his face. From the way he was shouting I think he might have been calling me for a while. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Draco." It was all I could get out before I started crying again. I couldn't get my head to work out what was happening, only that it hurt.

"What's he done?" Ron was on the floor and by my side in an instant.

I just shook my head, unable to voice what happened. His arms wrapped around me tightly and I'm grateful for the comfort.

I don't know how long we stay on the floor for but my tears have dried and the overwhelming shock has started to shrink as numbness fills me. Ron helped me up and we moved to his couch. There was more silence. I hadn't even realized Ron had left me, until he pushed a cup of coffee into my hands.

"I'm sorry there's nothing stronger." He sighed. Of course there wasn't. The one time I wished there was.

"It's ok." I smile weakly. "It's probably best."

"You ready to tell me what's happened?"

I took a deep breath. I had already told Ron about Draco and Padma. Ron had become a great friend recently and the person I confided in most. Ginny was great but she always leaned in Draco's favour. Sometimes I just needed an impartial view.

"Padma is… pregnant." I stuttered. There I said it. It was real. "It's Draco's." I answered his unasked question.

"Wow." Ron said. "I'm not sure what I was expecting."

We sit in silence for a minute. Neither of us knowing what to say. I'm still not sure this has all sunk in properly yet. I'm starting to feel like I over reacted. That I should have stayed. Should have talked this out.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up." Ron put his empty cup down. "This isn't your fault."

But maybe it was. If I had just given us a chance earlier, none of this would have happened. We could have had longer, been happy.

"Come here." Ron said taking my cup from me and opening his arms.

I don't hesitate I let him wrap me up. It still feels familiar even after all this time. His smell, the feel of his arms. I sigh and relax with my head on his chest. I feel so tired emotionally and physically. I pull back slightly and look up at him.

"Is it ok if I stay here awhile?" I ask.

"Of course." He moves a loose hair behind my ear. "Stay as long as you like."

I know I should move. There's something about Ron which is telling me I should move, stop this now. But I don't. I rake my eyes over his face. At one point I would have loved to have spent my life with him.

Ron moves closer to me and I know what he wants. Should I tell him to stop? Should I let him carry on? He stops an inch from my lips, waiting for me to say no, but I don't. A second later his lips touch mine. I kiss him back. I remember the feel of his lips. They remind me of a simpler time.

Ron's kiss deepens and I let him take control. I don't want to think about anything right now. He pushes me gently backwards so I'm lying on the couch. Our lips don't part for a second.

My fingers pull on his overly long hair, and that's when I start to feel wrong. I pull away and he moves his kisses along my neck.

"'Mione." Ron whispers against my neck. That's when it really hits me. That's not the voice I want to hear, these aren't the lips I want to feel.

I push him away and start to get up. "Stop." I scramble to my feet. "Stop. I can't do this." What was I thinking?

"'Mione. I'm sorry." I look at him and he does seem genuinely sorry.

"I can't stay here. I need to go." I want to go back to Draco, but how can I face him after what just happened?

"No. Stay." Ron stands up too. "I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."

I can't trust that it won't right now. I wanted a place to clear my head and think things through now its worse. Now I have to think about what just happened here too. I grab my bag and head to the door. I need to find a hotel.

DRACO

After I watched Hermione go I finished what was left of my fire whiskey. This morning I regret it. I've never felt so bad in my life. Sitting at my desk in my office wondering how my life could be worse right now. A child on the way whose mother I'm not entirely sure I like that much, Hermione's left me and I have no idea where she is, she didn't turn in to work not that I expected her to and I have the hangover from hell.

Just to top it off I have lunch with my mother soon. I have to tell her about the baby. She'll find out soon enough anyway. The gossip mills will be turning soon. I have no idea how she's going to react.

I can't concentrate on what I'm meant to be doing. My head is full of Hermione and if she is ok. I put my head in my arms on my desk and I think I might have dozed off because suddenly there's an owl at my window. I recognize it as Ginny's and run to let it in. I owled her this morning asking if she had seen Hermione.

My heart sank as I read the first line. Hermione wasn't there and she hadn't been. Ginny suggested I try Ron. Of course that's where she would go. I know they have gotten closer recently. The thing is I'm not sure he would tell me she was there even if she was. I didn't want to just turn up at his flat either. I wanted to give her the space she wanted, but I need to know she's ok. I carried on reading, and sure enough she wants an explanation as to why Hermione's not home. I quickly scribble her a note saying she can come round after I finish work. I don't want to leave the house in case Hermione decides comes home, I only came in to work with the vague hope I might see her.

I check my watch. I have to meet my mother in an hour. I run through the possible outcomes in my head trying to prepare. Anger, sadness and worst disappointment. I'd only just restarted the relationship with my mother, now I had to rock the boat. I'm not sure my mother is ready to be a grandmother.

An hour later I walk into the small restaurant my mother picked out. I spot her immediately at one of the tables near the back. I make my way slowly to her table. I greet her my kissing her cheek. I sit down not really listening to how she had met with the Greengrasses a few days ago.

"Draco, dear are you quite alright?" She brought me back to her putting her hand on mine.

This was my opening. "Mother I have some news." She stiffened and nodded for me to continue. "You are going to be a grandmother."

"You knocked up the mudblood."

"Mother!" I shouted at her comment. "You will not speak about Hermione that way."

"I'm sorry Draco." I could tell she wasn't but there was no arguing with her.

"And no it's not Hermione." Her gaze suddenly back to me. "Padma Patil." I said answering the questioning look in her eyes.

"Oh yes I know her. Her family is quite close to the Parkinsons." Hermione face lit up. "Oh a grandchild. How wonderful."

I was gobsmacked. "You didn't seem this pleased when you thought Hermione was the mother." I said still put back slightly by the grin that was on her face. Yet I think I know what her answer was going to be.

"Yes well, now we know that he will be a pureblood." I shook my head in disbelief.

"How can you still talk like that mother? You basically helped Harry defeat the dark lord. Yet here you are spouting pureblood nonsense."

She had the decency to look rather uncomfortable for a moment. "There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for my family."

"And who says that the best is a pure blood witch?" My temper was rising slightly now. "Hermione Granger happens to be the best witch of our age."

"Well now that you are expecting a child with Miss Patil I expect that will all end now." The look in her eyes asked me to defy her.

"And why would you say that?"

"Surely you will be with the mother of your child." Her anger rose. This was the reaction I had prepared for.

"No I won't. I'll be with Hermione." If she'll have me, I add to myself.

"All of this will dishonour your father's will." She gave a huff. "Not being with the pure blood mother of your child."

"I couldn't give a trolls shit about her blood status." My voice rose and I'm almost shouting. My mother looks around trying to see if I'd brought any attention to our table. "The only thing that matters to me is that I fucked up and this child isn't Hermione's."

"If you don't marry her you won't get any of your father's will." She said clearly not listening to a word I was saying.

"I don't care about my father's money. Give it away for all I care." I'd shocked her there. "I was worried how you would take this but I never thought you'd be happy just because of the mothers' blood status. I thought you would be disappointed that I had got some girl pregnant."

She shifted in her seat people were starting to look now. "I've got to go." I said standing. "I've got better things to be getting on with."

"Draco wait." She called but I carried on walking. I didn't need this right now.

I decided not to go back to work this afternoon. What was the point I couldn't concentrate this morning and after lunch I had no hope. I found a wizard pub and paid to use his owl letting my secretary know to cancel my appointments.

I stayed there for a couple hours drowning my sorrows. I just wished Hermione was by my side through all this. Selfish I know, but it's what I wanted. I'm sure we could work this out if only she would come home.

I'm home all of ten minutes when the fire glows green and Ginny's voice comes out. "Are you home yet? Can we come over?"

"Yes." I mutter and let the wards down.

Ginny comes striding out followed closely by Luna. I sag down into the couch and put my head in my hands.

"Ok. Tell us what happened." Ginny says sitting herself next to me.

I tell them the story. They already know about what happened in Bulgaria. So I run through the rest.

"She didn't say where she was going?" Ginny asks and I shake my head. "Wait here I'll go check at Ron's."

I watch her go and think where would I be going really?

"Have you tried a tracking spell yet?" Luna asks I'd almost forgotten she was here.

"Um...no." I shake my head the fire whiskey I had drunk in the pub is not helping me right now. "I wanted to give her the space she wanted."

"That's decent of you Draco but don't you want to know she's safe?" I nod my head. "Shall we try the spell?"

"I doubt it will work." I shrug. "This is Hermione, if she doesn't want to be found she'll have put protections up."

"Maybe she wants to be found." Luna said. I looked up at her for a second and realised I hadn't spoke to her as much as I probably should have. In that moment I was grateful for her though.

Just then Ginny arrived back, shaking her head. "She hasn't been there according to Ron. I had a little snoop round, couldn't see anything of hers."

They spent the next hour trying to track Hermione, but just as Draco had feared, she didn't want to be found.


	22. Chapter 22

HERMIONE

It's been two days now. I'm ready to go home, ready to go back to Draco, to talk things through. I've made up my mind on what I'm going to do. I just had to figure out what made me happier. I'd pretty much figured out early on what the answer was. The thing for me know is what would Draco say to me after I told him about Ron?

I looked around the hotel room I'd spent the last two days in. I'd found somewhere in the lake distract to stay. A small village called Grasmere. It had beautiful fields and paths to walk. That's what I'd done to get my head back on straight, walked. I checked everywhere making sure I had all my things.

Just as I'd zipped my bag up and was ready to leave I heard a loud pop behind me. I quickly grabbed my wand and spun round. I breathed a sigh of relief when I see Luna smiling widely.

"I can't believe it worked." She grins.

"Luna. How did you find me?" I hadn't taken down my protections yet.

"One of my mother's old spells." She clasped her hands together. "I can't believe it worked. My mother's spells never work."

"Ok. Next question. What are you doing here?" I sit on my bed my heart rate returning to normal.

"I've been helping Draco try to find you." She said as if it was the most obvious thing she had ever said. "Plus I get married in a few days and I want you there."

Only one part of that sentence really sank in. "Draco's been looking for me?"

"Of course he has." She sits herself next to me. "He needs to know your safe."

I feel ridiculous right now. How could I not consider how disappearing would hurt people.

"Hermione." Luna brings me back to her. "This might not be my place to say, but I think you've punished him enough now. He loves you and he's going insane without you."

"I know Luna." I smile at her. "And I wasn't punishing him. I did this for me."

"So are you going home?"

"Yes." I answer pointing at my bag packed and ready to go.

"What are you going to do?" I know she's referring to me and Draco and there is only one answer I can give her.

"I should talk to Draco first Luna."

"That doesn't sound like the answer I wanted to hear." She says sounding worried. "I need you both at my wedding!"

"Come on. We should go." I say smiling. I'm more than ready to see Draco.

DRACO

Sitting on my couch with Harry beside me I'm beginning to think maybe Hermione is silently telling me her decision. Telling me it's over. Harry keeps telling me to be positive. How can I be? The last time she ran away she left for a year.

They've barley left me alone the last forty-eight hours. The only time I haven't had Harry or Ginny by my side is at work. I wonder what they would do with the weekend looming. I must look an absolute mess too. I haven't shaved or even tried to make myself presentable.

Padma sent me her owl with all the details of her midwife visit. It was on Tuesday at one o'clock. I hadn't owled back yet. I didn't know what my answer should be.

I throw my head back and look up at the ceiling. Harry put some random show on the TV, I've paid no attention. I'm not even sure how long we've been sat here.

"You should come spend the weekend with me and Ginny." Harry says from beside me and I have to smile. There it was that was what they were planning.

"Nah its fine." Before Harry can interrupt me I throw in my excuse. "It's the wedding Sunday and I need to make sure I've got everything sorted. I'm not sure we've got a gift or anything."

"You can still come stay with us. Ginny can help you with the gift."

"You're going to have to leave me alone at some point you know Harry." Seriously I don't know what they expected me to do.

Harry laughs beside me. "You don't think I have better things to do? This is all Ginny."

I laugh too. "Well tell her I'm fine." I'm not everyone knows it but I don't need to be watched twenty four seven. "In fact you should go and tell her now."

"She won't like that." I laugh again. Harry has never wanted to disappoint Ginny. "She'll be straight over."

"Tell her I'm putting wards up to keep her out." I stand up and take my empty bottle to the kitchen. "Seriously Harry. I'll be fine."

Harry follows me in and puts his empty bottle in the bin. "If you're sure."

"Please just get out of my flat." I laugh at him.

"She'll come back soon Draco." Harry said his hand on my shoulder.

"You think so?" I sigh. "I'm not sure I can lose her twice."

"I think he's right." I turn round quickly to see Hermione standing in the kitchen door way.

I look her over, she looks amazing. I'm speechless.

"Well I'll leave you two to it then." Harry leaves hugging Hermione on his way out.

Not being able to believe my eyes I walk over to her and cup her face. She leans into it and I release a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I put my forehead to hers. "Hermione." She stops me from saying anything else placing her fingers to my lips.

"Let's sit and talk." She grabs my hand and leads me to the couch.

When we sit she keeps hold of my hand. My heart is pounding not knowing where this conversation will leave me. I look over her face trying to find some clue as to what she might say.

"Draco, I can never ask you to choose between me and your child." She sighs and looks down at our hands. "So I'm not going to. I spent my time trying to decide what made me happy."

She looks up at me then and I dread her next words. I don't want her to carry on I get the feeling this isn't going to turn out how I want it to. So I lean forward and kiss her. I need to do this even if it is one last time. She kisses me back. I tangle my free hand in her hair bringing her closer taking what I can get.

"Draco." She pulls back and I look down. I can't look at her while she says she doesn't want me. "I realised quite quickly that you make me happy." My gaze shoots back up to hers. "I'm going to stand by you. We're both going to help Padma and the baby."

A smile spreads across her face and she has her hand on my face. "I love you Draco." That's the first time she's said she loves me. I can't believe my luck right now.

I kiss her, crushing my lips to hers. "I love you, too. So much." I say as I kiss her.

"There's something I need to tell you though." She says and I can see the worry on her face.

"What's wrong?" I don't let her move far away from me. I keep her almost pinned to me. There's no way I'm letting her too far from me right now.

"When I left here the other night I went to Ron's." She bites her lip.

"Ron said you'd never been there." I say, I want to kill him right now. "Is that were you've been the last couple of days?"

She shakes her head, no. "I only stayed there a little while." Her gaze moves leaves mine and I know I won't like what comes next. "Ron and I kissed."

"Son of a bitch." I shout. Hermione flinches and turns her head away. "A kiss, is that all?"

Hermione nods. I can't see her face properly. I know I don't really want to know but I need to. "What happened?"

"He...he was trying to comfort me." I could hear the tears in her voice but she still wasn't looking at me and for this moment I'm glad. "He lent in to kiss me and I didn't stop him. It didn't last long I knew quickly I didn't want him. I'm so sorry."

Pain was shooting through me. I run my hand through my hair. The worst thing is I'm not sure I blame her for her reaction. The person I blame is Weasley for taking advantage of her.

"It's ok Hermione." Her gaze quickly turns to me and I see the tears running down her face. I reach up and wipe them away from her cheeks with my thumbs. "I understand. You wanted to hurt me too."

"No I didn't. I was confused and hurt and I didn't know what I wanted until he kissed me." She grabs my hands at her face. "Please believe me. I love you and want to be with you."

"I do believe you Hermione." I kiss her gently. I feel her start to relax a little bit. "I want to kill Weasley though." I say truthfully. "Let's come back to him later. I'm so glad your back."

"I'm glad to be back."

I kiss her then, like I never thought I'd get the chance to again. I kiss her to tell her I love her, that I missed her and that I never want her to leave again. Then something comes to me.

"Marry me." I say before I can even think about it properly.

"What?" Her face is stunned.

"Marry me. I never want to be apart from you again. I want you always with me." I search her eyes and she smiles at me.

"No." She says and I slump away from her. "Draco I love you but neither of us is ready for marriage."

"I am if it's with you." I sound like a child but I don't care.

She moves and straddles me taking my face in her hands. "One day, we'll revisit this conversation and I won't hesitate with my answer. Right now though Draco with everything that is happening, it isn't the right time and I think you know that too."

"Why do you always have to be so rational?" I ask wrapping my arms around her waist ringing her closer. She had a point.

"You wouldn't like me any other way." She smiles before kissing me.

It doesn't take long before I feel the need wash over me and I know she needs it too. My hands find the bare skin under her shirt and she moans against my lips. I'm so ready for her right now I push my hips up so she can feel how much I want her. She bites my lip as her hands find the hem of my shirt. She pulls it from me and I'm quick in returning the favour. Quickly she's standing and stripping I join her in removing my pants too.

I feel the urgency in the air. The need to come back together. She scrambles back to me crushing her lips to mine, teeth clashing, hearts pounding. Seconds later she's lowering herself on to me and throwing her head back. She feels amazing.

I wrap her up in my arms keeping her close. It's fast but I don't care we can take it slow later. I feel her quicken and know she's close, I'm there with her. Her breathing quickens and she tightens around me shouting my name. Seconds later I'm following her.

"God I missed you." I say as we calm and our breathing slows.

"I missed you too." She smiles at me and kisses me gently. Just that small contact and I'm ready for her again.

I kiss her room again making my intention clear when a voice rings through the fireplace.

"Hermione Jean Granger you let me in so I can throttle you for making me worry so much." Ginny.

Hermione laughs in my lap. "Sorry Ginny. I'm a little busy right now. How about I see you tomorrow. Bye." She looks at me then so beautiful with that smile on her face. "Let's take this to the bedroom. Shall we?"

Who am I to argue?


	23. Chapter 23

HERMIONE

Sitting through Lunas wedding I'm sure I can feel people's eyes on us. People judging me, us. I thought I had prepared myself for this. I knew it was going to happen. I knew people would know about Draco and Padma and the baby by now. I knew some people wouldn't agree with my decision to stay with Draco. I know the people closest to me understand. Except Ron. Ron didn't understand at all.

As I sit at our table drinking a glass of wine I think back to when he pulled me aside earlier.

"Why have you gone back to him?" He was almost shouting at me.

"Because I love him." It was a simple answer and the truth.

"Oh come on Hermione." He was running his hands through his hair. "He's having a baby with another woman. How could you forget that?"

Here we go. I thought this wasn't going to be easy. "I'm not going to forget it Ron. That's going to be impossible in a few months when the baby is actually here. I've forgiven him though."

"Why?" He looked like he was getting more and more frustrated which just hiked up my anger.

"How long can I really go on punishing him and me for a mistake he made when we weren't even really together?" I don't expect him to answer and he doesn't. "Why should I sacrifice my own happiness?"

"You're happy? Really with him just going around and sleeping with anyone?" his anger is growing and it scares me a little. I tighten my grip on my wand hidden inside my bag. "I could make you happy you know?"

"Sorry?" This I wasn't expecting. I know we had that kiss and maybe I had a small moment where I thought that we would be easier, but I knew almost instantly we would never work.

"I can make you happy." He steps closer to me. "We could really give things a proper go. We've been through so much together. You don't just forget what we've been through, what we went through together. You can't just throw that out the window."

He steps closer again and I'm in such shock am not sure what to do. I'm looking at him open mouthed in shock. He puts his hand on my arm and it brings me back.

"We wouldn't work Ron and I think you know that deep down too." I take a deep breath. "We have been through a lot together but it wasn't enough when we tried last time and I don't think it would be enough now."

"You can't say that if you won't even try." His grip on my arm tightens and I feel his fingers dig into my skin. "Just say that you'll forget Malfoy and try with me. What's the harm in trying?"

"Ron you're hurting me." This doesn't stop him and he just grabs my other arm too.

"Just tell me why?" He shakes me hard and I gasp from the pain. "We could be good together again. I thought if I just waited a while you would get him out of your system and come back to me. /I thought this would be my chance but still you go back to him."

"Ron we weren't good in the first place. Can't you remember?" I wince as his grip doesn't ease. "I love Draco I don't know how many times I can say that. I don't know how I can make you see that while what he did hurt I don't have a right to punish him. This all happened while we weren't even together."

Just then I hear Draco call me and I feel relief flood through me but Ron either doesn't care or he didn't hear because he still doesn't let me go.

"Hermione? Are you in here?" I see him come in to the room behind Ron. "What's going on?"

He walks up behind Rn and pulls him away from me. I can still feel where his fingertips dug into my skin. Ron seems even angrier. I don't know where it's all come from.

"Get your hands off her." Draco spins and faces Ron.

"Don't touch me. I don't know what she sees in you. You're just the snake you've always been and you always will be." He turns to face me then. "Just remember we won't all be here to catch the pieces when you realise Hermione." I watch him storm out the room then completely in shock.

Draco turns to me then and takes my face in his hands I'm vaguely aware he's trying to talk to me but it's not processing properly. I'm trying to work out what has just happened. What made Ron so angry? What made him turn so aggressive? I never thought I would see that part of him.

"Hermione! Please talk to me. Are you ok?" Finally Draco's voice penetrates. I look at him properly and he looks really worried. I blink and nod. "What happened?"

"He wanted to know why I'd gone back to you. He said he wanted me to go back to him." I see Draco stiffen. "He thinks he can make me happier."

"Maybe he could." Draco's answer shocks me. I stare at him waiting for him to explain what he's just said to me. "I've not exactly made our relationship easy. I seem to be fucking up at every opportunity."

I see it's hurting him to say this. I take my hand and stroke his cheek. "You do make me happy Draco. You made one mistake. I've forgiven you and now were going to move forward."

"I really don't deserve you." He kisses me then and I dive into it taking what he gives me.

This wine really doesn't seem strong enough now. I'm staring into my empty glass mulling it all over. I can't believe Ron feels this way. Draco must have read my mind because he puts a glass of fire whiskey in front of me.

"Thankyou." I smile up at him and he shrugs.

"I thought you looked like you could do with it." He takes the seat next to me. "I know it must be hard hearing that from him."

"I just didn't know he felt that way." I take a gulp of my fire whiskey and savour the burn as it travel down my throat. "I should have seen it."

"How? As far as I can tell no one knew he felt this way." Draco puts his arm around me and brings me close. "Dance with me?"

I look up at him and nod and he leads me to the dance floor.

DRACO

As I dance with Hermione in my arms I think back to what I heard with Ron. Maybe he is right maybe I should take a step back. The problem is I don't think I'm that strong, I'm too selfish. I just want Hermione all to myself. I have to be confident in her decision to stay with me through all this.

How I wish I could have kept it in my pants. At the time I was pretty sure we were over for good. I look down at her now and I wonder how I didn't fight harder for her back then. This amazing woman who was still with me. I pull her tighter to me needing to feel her against me.

We danced like this for a while in each others arms even when the music changed to a faster tempo. We were interrupted by raised voices behind us. When we turned to see who it was we found Harry and Ron arguing. Hermione being who she is made her way over to them.

"What's wrong?" She asked as we reached them.

Harry ran his hands through his hair obviously upset. "Ron's been drinking."

"What?" Hermione turned to Ron.

Looking at him it was obvious now. He could hardly stand straight, his face flushed.

"So what if I fucking have?" He slurred. "No one gives a shit anyway."

"Ron come on let me take you to The Burrow." Harry said reaching out to Ron but he jerked away losing his balance in the process and almost falling over.

"Leave me alone." He turned to Hermione then. "I don't know why I ever loved you. You're just a whore."

Hermione stiffened beside me. I had to reign in my anger then so much I couldn't hit him. Well I could but I won't, it would only upset Hermione more. Or so I thought. As I'm trying to reign in my anger Hermione steps forward and slaps Ron.

"Never speak to me like that again." She straightens herself and turned away from him grabbing my hand and walking away.

I can't believe what just happened I'm utterly speechless. We reach our table and Hermione grabs her fire whiskey and finishes it in one go. I'm so busy thinking about what just happened that I only just notice the shake in her hands.

I make her sit down and take her face in my hands making her look at me. "Speak to me."

"It's my fault. He drank again because of me." Of course she would think this. I catch a tear that escapes with my thumb.

"It's not your fault Hermione." I kiss her gently before she can argue with me. "Ron has his own demons and you can't blame yourself for them or for how he handles them."

"If only…"

"If only what?" I interrupt. "If only you loved him back? If only you'd chosen not to be with me? If only you'd chose common sense and left me?"

"Draco stop." Her hands are on my arms gripping tight. "I don't wish any of that. I just wish I had a solution for him. I don't want to be with Ron and I don't wish I did. I have you."

"I come with so much shit I wouldn't blame you for wanting something different, something more." I can't look her in the eyes. This is always going to be something that will get between us. Ron and Padma with the baby.

"I have everything I want with you Draco. Obviously it would have been better if you weren't have a child with someone else or that Ron seems determined to so… Difficult." She laughs harshly. "But these are the cards we've been dealt and we need to work with them."

I kiss her. We both need to work past what is in each others lives right now and think about us. I will not lose her again.


	24. Chapter 24

DRACO

I'm sat in the St Mungo's maternity waiting room, bouncing my feet, nerves running through me. Padma was late. How could you be late for an appointment like this?

I'm getting odd looks from everyone else in here. Everyone else is with their partner and here I am the only male on his own.

I stand up and start looking around, there are posters dotted all around the walls. I start to read a few and regret it quite quickly. Each one is either about breast feeding or giving birth, a lot of them having graphic pictures. For almost the first time in my life I wished I was in a muggle hospital with unmoving pictures. The ones with the women giving birth were going to be etched in my mind for some time.

I'm almost ready to leave the nurse had been out twice now looking for Padma. My anger was starting to subside slightly and worry taking its place. Padma wasn't usually late at least not the thirty minutes I'd been waiting. I head over to the receptionists desk to tell her that she can give our appointment away when Padma walks in. She's breezes in like there isn't a problem and just like that my anger reappears.

"Sorry I'm a little late." She says to me and the receptionist earning her a look of distain.

"I'll let the nurse know you are here, see if she still has time to fit you in." She said with a tight smile before leaving her desk.

"What the fuck Padma?"

"I said I was sorry. I got held up at Lavender's." She said slowly rubbing her hand over her belly.

"I hope it was damn important. I've been here looking like an idiot for almost half an hour." My hands were clenched at my sides. What was I ever thinking getting involved with her?

"Her boyfriend broke up with her." She shrugged. "She needed consoling."

I ran my hands through my hair frustration getting to me. "Seriously?"

"I couldn't just leave her. She's in a right state she really liked him."

"I had to leave work early for this Padma. This is meant to be important. Maybe you need to decide where your priorities are." The look of shock on her face was a picture. Before she could reply though the nurse came out.

"Lucky for you two my next appointment cancelled." She said ushering for them to follow her.

I watched from the edge of the room as Padma and the doctor talked. The nurse asked Padma questions about how she had been getting on. I listened as she talked. Most of these things I hadn't thought to ask myself. I felt bad now listening to her. Everything was fine but I'd been so concerned about all this was affecting my life I hadn't thought about Padma.

I watched as she got herself comfortable on the bed and exposed her belly. I got nervous then, started shifting from foot to foot.

"Calm down Draco." Padma laughed at me.

I plant my hands in my pockets and try to calm down. This was so unreal. I'm still pretty much in shock with all this happening.

"Ok. So I'll explain to dad what will be happening since he hasn't seen this before." Wait, what? Dad? My face dropped, I could feel it. No one had ever said that to me before. My stomach flipped. The nurse never seemed to notice though. "So we use the same machine the muggles do for these scans, with a few magical enhancements of course. What we do is place this little scanner over the baby and we check if everything is ok. Seeing as this is you twenty week scan we can check the sex as well. Do we want to know?"

"Yes please." Padma grinned.

"Ok, let's get started then."

I watched her ready her computer and scanner. My heart was pounding. She tells Padma the gel will be cold and then she grabs her scanner. She spreads the gel then stops in one spot. I look at the screen and I see the baby. My once pounding heart skips a beat. That's my baby right there on the screen. I can see their head, I can see their hands, their feet. The nurse points out other things. The baby's heart beat which I know realise is that fast beating I can hear. She talks to us as she clicks some things on her computer. She makes all her checks.

"Ok let's see if baby will let us see." The nurse smiles.

She moves the scanner around and eventually gets the right angle to see. "Looks like baby doesn't want to play." She laughs. The baby has their legs closed. But just as she's about to move away the baby moves and we can see. "Congratulations. It's a baby girl."

xxx

I'm sat in the apartment afterwards, waiting for Hermione, just staring at the picture I have in my hands. The picture of my daughter. It all seems so surreal. I look at the picture, look at the baby wriggling around. It had brought a tear to my eye when I had first taken the time to look at the picture when I was alone.

I notice the fire light green and look up to see Hermione step through. She smiles at me. "Hey. How did it go?"

I'm still speechless. I stand up and hand her the picture. She takes it and runs her eyes over it. She bites her lip and hands it back to me. "Beautiful." She whispered.

HERMIONE

I look at the picture of Draco's baby and a shot of pain quickly shot through me. I wasn't sure how I would feel when all this came about. It shocks me that the main emotion I'm feeling is jealousy. I want this to be Draco and me. Not right now, we're nowhere near ready for children, but I wanted to be the one to give him his first child and any others. I plaster on my fake smile.

"Are you ok?" He asks and I can hear the concern in his voice. I don't want to ruin this day for him.

"Of course. I'm happy for you." I can't look him in the eye properly.

"No you're not, but thank you for trying." He wraps me up in his arms and I breath him in. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

We stood like this for a few minutes, his arms wrapped tightly around me while I gathered myself together. I look up at him not moving too far away from him. "I'm sorry. This is huge for you. You're going to have a daughter."

He couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips. That small smile put a sliver of glass in my heart. This was something I wouldn't be able to enjoy with him. Something I would be on the side-lines for. I wouldn't show him this though I refuse to. I'll rant to someone else. I take a deep breath. "We should celebrate." I say removing myself from his arms and digging out the bottle of champagne I had in my bag.

He leaned in and kissed me, gentle at first then growing. "I love you." He said against my lips. We ended up drinking the champagne in bed.


	25. Chapter 25

GINNY

I'm unbelievably worried about Hermione right now. I tried to convince her a quite drink at mine would be better than going out, but no she had insisted we go to The Leaky Cauldron.

Here I am sitting in a booth, on my own watching on as Hermione dances on the dance floor to the band they have on.

I think Hermione has had more to drink than I had realised. She's stumbling about as she's dancing. How am I meant to get her to talk if all she wants to do is dance and drink the night away?

Poor Hermione, all this mess with Draco must be affecting her more than they had thought. She had been acting strong, hiding her feelings but they were sure to come to a head soon.

Hermione stumbled back to our table grabbing the bottle of wine we have on our table and refilling her glass.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" I ask worried.

"Definitely not." She says putting the glass to her lips.

"Hermione." I stumble out. "I wish you would talk to me."

Hermione laughed a loud, almost hysterical laugh. "About what exactly? About how my boyfriend is having a daughter with someone else?" She pauses to take another drink of wine. "About how the thought of it almost kills me? How the jealously is like a knife in me?"

"Oh Hermione." Poor Hermione. "You can't keep all this bottled up inside. It will only explode and make a mess."

Hermione wipes a tear from her cheek. Maybe this was a good idea after all if it was going to make her talk.

I get up from my seat and make my way to her side. I bring her in for a hug tightly wrapping my arms around her.

"Hermione I know this must be hard but if you don't talk to someone, anyone it will only get harder."

"I know." She says in my ear. "I guess I've been trying to ignore it."

I run my hand over her back trying to comfort her. "That's going to be almost impossible in a few months' time."

She pulls away from me. "I know, I know." She takes a deep breath. "I need to just let loose tonight get drunk, dance and deal with it all tomorrow."

Ok maybe I can give her this one night. What harm can it do? "Ok." I smile. "Let's get some more wine then."

Harry was going to kill me.

DRACO

While Hermione was out with Ginny I decided I would try and talk with my mother. After not speaking for so long I didn't want to disrupt that now. She was so set-in her ways I just needed to find a way to cope with it and to get mother to accept Hermione.

When I got there an unexpected face answered the door. It was Elayna, a second cousin from my mother's side. When she saw me she gave a high pitched scream and threw her arms around my neck in a hug.

"Oh my days Draco!" She says in her thick French accent. I'm stunned she's here. "I was going to come and find you tomorrow."

"Elayna what are you doing here?" I wrap my arms around her middle hugging her back.

It had been about ten years since we had seen each other. And she was one of the last people I expected to answer the door.

"Oh I was so bored at home I needed are change so I thought why not visit aunt missy?" She pulls away and holds me at arms length. "You look good Draco."

"You too Elayna." A huge smile spread across my face. Elayna had always been one of my favourite people to see. I would get quite excited when I knew she would be visiting. Unusual for me. "I'm so happy to see you."

I pull her into another hug. "It's been way too long."

"Elayna who's at the door?" I hear my mother's voice enter the room and our eyes meet over my cousins' shoulder. "Draco."

She sounded shocked and I don't really blame her. The last time we had talked I had stormed out of a restaurant and left her on her own.

"Mother." I say releasing Elayna and walking in properly.

"I'm glad you came." She said quickly recovering herself. "I have something for you."

She leaves the room and I turn back to Elayna. "How long are you staying?"

"At the moment a week or two." She grinned. "But who knows if I like it I might stay."

"Well while your here we will have to meet up. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

"Oh is this the baby mama?" when she said that with her accent I couldn't help but laugh. She quickly joined in.

Before I could answer her to say no my mother came back in with a box. She placed it on the table and put her wand away.

"What's this?" I ask, curious but still laughing.

"This is some of your old baby things I kept. I thought you might be able to use them for the new baby." She leant down and began to empty the box.

"You kept some of my baby things?" This didn't sound like my mother.

"Of course."

She starts to unpack and I realise none of these things are what you would call gender neutral. They are all boys' things. Even the blankets couldn't be used for a girl. Also some of the things had the Slytherin Serpent on them something I don't think Padma would be happy about.

"Mother." I interrupt her. "These are all boy things."

"Well yes Draco you are a boy."

"No mother, I mean Padma had her scan. The baby's a girl." There was a slight pause from her and I could feel a rush of tension fill the room even from Elayna. My mother quickly regained herself almost as if I hadn't spoke, this time placing things back into the box. When I turn to Elayna her face had fallen no longer looking happy.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"Nothing is wrong." My mother answers just as Elayna opens her mouth. "We were just hoping for a boy."

That was not the reason. He could tell but he would find out what it was soon. "Well now you'll have a granddaughter to spoil."

"Your right." Mother straightens herself out. "It would be nice to have another girl in the family."

I thought my mother would be almost ecstatic with the news the baby was a girl but for some reason she seems almost upset. There was definitely something going on.

"Why don't I go make some tea then?" Elayna said rushing from the room.

"Are you alright mother?" She seems to have lost her equilibrium.

"Yes of course. A granddaughter is going to be fantastic." She wasn't looking at me.

"I'm going to go help Elayna with the tea." I make my way to the kitchen hoping I'll get some answers.

I find Elayna leaning against the counter arms wrapped around herself, biting her lip.

"Ok Elayna what the hell is going on?" She jumped when I spoke obviously not realising I had followed her here.

"Nothing." She plastered a smile on her face and started gathering the cups.

"I'm not an idiot Elayna. I know something is up." I run my hands through my hair in frustration. "Please just tell me."

I watch as she sighs and her shoulders slump. "Ok but not here. Meet me for lunch tomorrow."

"Why can you tell me now?"

"Because I can't." She looks over my shoulder as if checking no one was listening.

I watch as she takes the tea bags and sugar from their pots. "Do you take sugar?"

"One." It's a clipped answer but I can help it. I want to know what's going on.

"Don't be like that Draco. I will tell you what I know tomorrow." She hands me my cup. "Now act like you're happy."

She pushes past me with the other two cups in hand. I take a second to compose myself before I join them. When I get there the box is gone. Out of sight out of mind maybe?

I went through the motions as I sat there with them knowing something wasn't right. There was something I didn't know. Something I could feel was important.

We all laughed at the stories about when Elayna and I were younger. They were good times before everything went south. Now I'm about to become a father. This should be a happy time for me but its turning out to be a nightmare.

I'm pretty sure Elayna was hoping I would forget because when I mentioned I would owl her about lunch her face dropped slightly.

All I can think of now is what this secret is. I'm sure it has something to do with the baby, I just have no idea what it could be.

I'm finishing my bottle of beer when I hear a noise at the front door. I walk up to it, listening and taking out my wand. There's someone talking but I can't hear what's being said. The door knob turns and rattles. I turn the lock and open the door quickly. There, stood in front of me, is Hermione. Drunk.

"Yes. I knew I could open the door." She has a note of triumph in her voice.

"Hermione you're holding your lipstick not your keys."

She looks at her hand and laughs. "So I am."

"Come on let's get you inside." I hold my hand out to her and she takes it almost falling over as she reached for it. "Careful Hermione."

"Draco I think I'm drunk." She slurs. No shit, I think to myself.

"Ok let's get you some water shall we?"

I quickly go to the kitchen after sitting her on the couch. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and make my way back.

I kneel in front of her and hand her the bottle sans lid. She takes a small swig and looks down at me. She cups my face in her free hand and I close my eyes at her touch.

"I love you Draco." She whispers.

"I love you too." I say putting my hand to hers.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough for this." She takes a shaky breath. "I hate her."

"Hermione."

"I do Draco." She interrupts. "Not the baby obviously it's not their fault. But Padma."

I don't know what to say. I just reach up stroke her cheek and kiss her. This is what I'd been afraid of Hermione realising she dint want this. She might love me now but what happens in a few years?

"It's not fair." She slurs. "Just when we were happy."

"I know." My heart aches. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.

"I think I need to go to bed now." I almost laugh at her. This would be funny if she hadn't been so hurt she had to go out and get drunk.

"Ok baby lets go."

Yes I'm not sleeping at all tonight.


	26. Chapter 26

DRACO

The next morning was a Sunday, I left the apartment and headed to meet Elayna. Hermione was still asleep. I had left her a note and a potion to help relieve her hangover.

I was nervous about what Elayna would tell me. It was obviously something important and something my mother didn't want me to know. I know it will be hard for my cousin to tell me something behind her back but I also knew her well enough to know she would tell me if she felt it was something I needed to know.

I ordered a pint while I was waiting. It was a small muggle place that served as a pub and restaurant but the food was actually pretty good. I needed a drink to steady my nerves while I waited.

When I saw her walk in an automatic smile came on my face. It was really great to have her here. I hadn't realised how much I missed her till I saw her yesterday. When she reached the table I stood and hugged her. No matter what I loved this woman.

"Would you like a drink?" The waiter asked as she sat. She ordered a pint too and he left.

"You want to get it out of the way or just let it get awkward?" I ask with a small nervous smile. I was already feeling awkward I needed to know.

"Can I at least get my drink first?" She laughed but there was a nervous edge to it.

When her drink came she drank half of it and ordered another round. "Trust me you'll need it." She said when she saw my questioning look.

Ok this had me nervous, my heart rate picking up. I just stared at her waiting for her to begin.

"Ok." She took a deep breath. "Some of this I know for certain, other things… I've put together since I got here."

"Ok." I say taking a large drink.

"There is a curse on the Malfoy line, well your father called it a gift." Her gaze went to her drink as she traced her finger along the rim. I leave her a second before the suspense gets too much.

"Elayna!" I almost bark at her.

"Sorry Draco, this is just hard to say. It will certainly be hard to hear." She takes another quick drink before she continues. "Centuries ago one of your ancestors decided they would make sure that every Malfoy family would have a male heir. I think the story is he had four daughters before finally getting his son. So he decided to 'gift' his future descendants."

Draco thought he knew where this was going. Elayna said it would be tough to hear.

"What was this 'gift' Elayna?"

"Every Malfoy first born would be male." She said it fast like it might be easier to hear or maybe just for her to say. "Not one first born has been a girl since."

"The baby isn't mine." It came out of my mouth as a whisper but it sounded like a shout in my ears. It came out before I realised what I was saying. I put my head in my hands. A wave of emotions was washing through me. Anger at Padma, sadness at losing something so precious and worst of all a small amount of relief.

"We don't know that Draco." She grabbed my hands from the other side of the table squeezing them tight. "We all know curses can weaken over time. Maybe this is just the first sign."

I didn't say anything I was still trying to take it all in. still trying to wrap my head around it. Then a thought hit me.

"Wait." I felt my face crease in confusion. "My mother would know about this. Why didn't she say anything to me?"

Her face changed then from sympathy to worry. "This is where I've done a little guess work."

My heart was pounding already from the news that the baby is more than likely not mine, what else could there be? What else could be thrown at me today?

"When I arrived your mother was there with someone else." She quickly took another drink. "It was Padma. Your mother asked me not to say anything to you about her being there."

"You think my mother and Padma planed this?" My voice was tinged with scepticism but deep down I was pretty sure this is what happened. I just don't want to believe it.

"I'm pretty sure." Just then she caught the waiter on his way past and asked for two large Jack Daniels.

My head felt like it was floating, too fuzzy to make sense of anything that was going on. "Why would she do this to me?" I'm thinking out loud I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

"I think you know Draco." Elayna said reading my mind. "She wants you to leave your muggle born and marry into a pureblood family."

"So she tricks me into thinking I'm having child with her." I can't believe this my hands clench in my hair. I'm so angry right now I could punch something. "I never thought she would go this far."

"Me neither. When she wrote to me saying you had reconciled I thought she would do anything to keep you in her life. Then this happened."

"I guess I know where her priorities lie." I notice my whiskey and throw it back in one. I savour the burn as it travels down my throat.

"Let's keep some hope Draco the baby may still be yours. I know there is a charm that can be done." She holding my hand again, it's a small comfort.

"I don't know if I want the baby to be mine Elayna." This actually hurts slightly to say. "Life would be so much easier if it wasn't."

I know as I say it though that although it's caused me so much heartache it would still crush me if the baby wasn't mine. It's a strange feeling. I wish it was Hermione having the baby I would have no doubts about being the father no matter what. There was a time when I would have loved to have heard that the baby wasn't mine. Now here I am faced with a prospect that that is true and I'm not sure that I want it.

If the baby isn't mine my life with Hermione would be so much easier we could move on with our life and in a few years start a family of our own get married, grow old together do everything we should do.

If the baby isn't mine I lose something, that in a strange way I've started to bond with. Everyone says a father doesn't bond with the baby till they're born but right now I don't think that is true. I feel a bond with this baby especially after seeing the scan.

I feel like an idiot for not checking something like this earlier that would have kept my feelings in check. But everything had just been thrown at me, at us in such a way it had never crossed my mind.

I feel a tear run down my face. No matter what I know my relationship with my mother is irrevocably ruined. I can never look at her the same again.

Suddenly Elayna is beside me and wrapping her arms around me. I tuck my head in her shoulder and let myself cry. What was I going to do now? I couldn't confront Padma, if I approached it the wrong way and the baby was mine I had no reluctance in believing she would keep me from her. Plus I didn't want to tell Hermione until I was certain, because I know she would get her hopes up and I didn't want to dash them I don't think she could handle that right now.

I had one person I could turn to right now and that was Elayna. We had to work out a plan. And quickly. I dried my eyes, I never cried I felt like a child.

"You need to help me find out Elayna." I say to her a new resolve forming.

"Of course. Let's plan." I loved that she thought like I did.

I smile and we plan over lunch.


	27. Chapter 27

HERMIONE

The last few weeks had been tough. I had started to pull away from Draco, at first it was unintentional now, I was finding it easier. I started to stay later at work. At first Draco would stay with me then I think he started to give up.

I hated the way it was. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning determined to make things better, make things right with me and Draco. Then something would happen and my head would go south and my plans would go down the drain. I hated it. I was usually strong but I think I'm finding this really hard to cope with. I just don't feel strong.

Draco had introduced me to his cousin Elayna from France. I love her. She's so energetic and seemingly carefree. I'm a little jealous if I'm honest. I found myself talking to her and it's a nice change. I see Draco's face when I slip so easily into French with her. He seems impressed.

That's actually where I'm headed now, to meet Elayna for lunch. Were meeting in this gorgeous little restaurant hidden away in a corner of Diagon Alley.

I'm not looking where I'm going at all. I'm in a world of my own my mind on other things. Then someone grabs my arm and brings me back to the present. My hand is on my wand before I even look at who it is that has grabbed me. Then I hear their voice and I stop dead.

"Her my own ninny." It's Viktor.

My heart pounds, I can't look up, it's been almost two years. His grip loosens and his hand travels down my arm. Old feelings quickly rush through me. I still haven't looked at him.

The way we left things I never thought he would want to see me again but here he is trying to talk to me, touching me.

I'm not sure how long we stand there like that, his hand on my wrist me looking at the floor. I'm still trying to process him being here. The next thing I know is that Viktor is pushing my face upwards gently with his fingers making me look at him.

When my eyes take him in I notice he hasn't changed much at all. When I look at him I realise how much I've missed him. Not as a lover nesacerily but as my friend. He was one of the few people I could be honest with before we got together and ended things the way we did.

"Viktor." Is all I can seem to say when I've found my voice.

"It's good to see you." He smiles that broad genuine grin and his face brightens.

"It's good to see you too." His fingers are still on my chin. I manage to get over my shock slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"England play Bulgaria next week. I will be playing."

Then I vaguely remember Ginny telling me she would be playing in her first international quidditch match soon. I sigh inwardly. I am such a bad friend. I am so wrapped up in myself I don't even remember if Ginny told me who the match would be against.

"Right of course." I shake myself releasing myself from his grip.

"You look good." Now I know this is a lie I look terrible. I've lost too much weight and I have bags under my eyes.

"Thanks you too." This want a lie. He still had his strong quidditch body and his handsome features hadn't changed.

"Do you want to get a drink?" He asks.

I'm about to answer when I hear Elayna call me. I had almost forgotten about her.

"I'm sorry I'm meeting someone for lunch." I turn and see her waving at me.

"Another time?" He asks I think I can hear hope in his voice.

"Yes. Owl me." I start to move slowly in Elaynas direction. My first genuine smile I've had in ages starts to form.

"I will."

I turn about and walk to Elayna and I swear I can feel his eyes on me.

"Hermione." Elayna says as she hugs me. "Was that Viktor Krum?"

She's looking over my shoulder wide eyed at him as I laugh. "Yes."

"Oh my God." She does a little jump. "He's still looking over at you. Do you know him?"

"Yes." I grab her arm and pull her away.

"He is yummy. How do you know him?" I laugh to myself I know this will turn into an interrogation.

I start simply. "He was the Durmstrang champion in the trip wizard tournament while we were at Hogwarts. We went to the Yule ball together."

"You dated Viktor Krum?"

I hear the excitement in her voice. We've reached the restaurant.

"Not till a couple of years ago."

And that was how our lunch was spent. Me recalling my time with Viktor.

DRACO

Things with me and Hermione were not going well. I can feel the strain. I know this is hurting her, but I don't want to tell her my plan. Not yet. What if it falls through and the baby is mine? Ive started to hope more than ever that it isn't. How bad is that? The more I hope for this the worse I feel. How can someone with any self-respect hope for something like this?

Elayna tries to reassure me. She says that this situation isn't a normal one and its ok to be feeling conflicted. I'm starting to feel the need to rush my plan through quickly now before Hermione pulls away more, before I drive myself insane.

Elayna and I think we have pretty much thought it all through. I don't want Padma to suspect anything. If she did everything would fall apart. I know she has a vindictive streak and I wouldn't put it past her to make sure I didn't see the baby if she is mine.

Were lucky Elayna did her maternity rotation before she decided being a healer wasn't for her. She remembers the charm well. She needed to use my wand though. This was the only snag which we couldn't disguise. We had even prepared a polyjuice potion for Elayna because she had met Padma. I had no doubt Padma would recognise my wand our only option was for me to distract her while Elayna performed the charm. She told me if the baby was mine my wand would glow gold if not a dull grey.

I'm thinking about how I could possibly distract someone like her when I feel something hit my face. I look up and see Harry looking at me.

"I'm off home if your gonna zone out on me like that." He said laughing at me.

"Shit I'm sorry." I run my hands over my face. "In a bit distracted."

"Yeah I can tell." He took a drink of his beer. "You going to tell me what it is?"

I think about this for a minute. It would be nice to have another opinion from Elaynas. But harry was Hermione's best friend he might want to tell her.

"I won't tell Hermione." He said as if reading my mind and I laugh.

"You might change your mind when you hear what it is."

"Listen mate, I know Hermione and I are close" he said looking at me "but you're my friend too and if you need to tell me something I'm all ears."

"ok." I nod. I need to know if he thinks I'm doing the right thing. "Here goes nothing."

I tell harry everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks starting with that first night with Elayna at my mother's place and ending with my plan.

"What do you think?" I ask him when I finish.

I watch him take a deep breath and looks into his now empty pint glass. I have no idea what he is thinking he said nothing throughout my whole tale.

"I think your right not to tell Hermione till you're sure." I raise my eyebrows in shock. "He would only want you to go through proper channels and as you say Padma has a mean streak and you don't want to do anything that could atop you seeing you, possible, daughter."

I relax back in my seat and release a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"That being said you need to be careful Draco" he leans forward a serious look on his face. "I know you think now you would be happier without this baby but you might not feel the same if she turns out not to be yours."

He had thought about this but he still couldn't help thinking everything would be fine as long as he had Hermione by his side.

"When do you think you'll do it?" Harry asks.

"Thursday." We had sent out the official looking letter to Padma this morning telling her she had one small check-up and the midwife would visit her apartment.

"Good luck." Harry said holding up his till empty glass. I clinked my own glass to his and made my way to the bar. Slightly less worried about not telling Hermione.

I want to apologise for the long wait ive had a broken computer. ?I will wack out a new chapter asap.


	28. Chapter 28

HERMIONE

What was I thinking? I nearly didn't come, but here I am sitting in The Leaky Cauldron waiting for Viktor. I'm feeling guilty. I never told Draco who I was meeting, 'just a friend', I told him. I'm not sure how he would feel if I told him who I was meeting. Although to be honest he seemed pretty distracted himself today. Both of us had left work early, he had a midwife appointment with Padma.

I quickly throw the rest of my wine back at the thought of him with Padma. Hypocrite that I am, sitting here waiting for my own ex-lover. I laugh to myself at how complicated my life has become. I never thought I would have to cope with all this. I never thought I would be hopelessly in love with Draco Malfoy of all people either. This whole situation is just absurd.

Sometimes I childishly think that this is all some kind of weird dream and I'll be waking up soon. I often hoped that during my days travelling with Harry and Ron, but then I was basically a child. I wave the bartender over and order another wine. I check my watch while I wait, it's still early. I shouldn't be meeting Viktor for another quarter of an hour, so the sound of voice makes me jump.

"Have you been waiting long?" my pulse quickens at his unexpected appearance, my hand on my heart from shock.

I laugh. "No, not long." I point to the stool beside me. "What are you drinking?"

"Just a butterbeer please. I have training early tomorrow." He waits as I order his drink when my wine arrives.

Awkward silence fills the air for a moment while I search my brain for something to say. But he speaks first.

"I didn't think I would see you while I was here." He smiles at me. "I thought about trying to find you, I didn't know whether you would want to see me."

"I didn't think you'd want to see me." I laugh and take another sip of wine. "How have you been?"

"I've been good actually." His face lit up and I start to feel at ease. "How about you?"

"So, so." I shrug. Even now I find it hard to lie to him, we were always so close.

"Talk to me." He says. Just like that.

And I can't stop it. It all flows out. Everything. I spill everything I've ever thought and felt since I got back. After less than five minutes of his company he has me opening up. He doesn't interrupt he doesn't throw in his feelings on every little thing. He lets me get it all off my chest. In the middle ordering another round of drinks when I hadn't even realized I finished my last. I finish with my head in my hands but feeling so much better for unburdening.

"Wow. Draco Malfoy?" He asks, and I just nod. "That I didn't see coming. So you love him?"

"Yes" I whisper.

"You're sure he loves you?" he raises his eyebrows when he asks the question like he feels sorry for me.

"Yes." I have more conviction this time. Apart from my love for him it was the only thing I was certain of.

"Then what is the problem?" He asks. Has he not been listening?

"Someone else is having his child." I say with a small amount of anger.

"That should have nothing to do with it." He says waving his hand at me. I'm shocked my mouth is open and I'm staring at him.

"How can you say that?"

"Easily." I watch as he takes a relaxed sip of his butterbeer. "I have a little bit of experience."

"You... experience... What?" I'm stumbling over my words. I don't understand.

"I'm engaged." He said with a shy smile on his face.

"Err wow. Congratulations." I say shocked. "But how does that help?"

"When I met Ivana she was pregnant already. I instantly fell for her she's amazing and a muggle." The look on his face showed how much he loved her as he spoke. "We started dating and at first I found it hard to see her go off with the father to all the appointments and do the things that I couldn't really be involved in. I found it really hard."

"What changed?" I ask on the edge of my seat hoping for something that would give me hope for me and Draco.

"I realized if I wanted to keep Ivana I would have to put it behind me. We went through a patch similar to what's happening to you. It nearly drove us apart." Viktor took a deep breath before continuing. "I tried to imagine my life without her but couldn't. So I decided I would need to put all this behind me. I decided while she was having this other man's baby I was going to have her for life with children of our own. So I asked her to marry me, she said yes, and I feel not so bad now."

"I'm happy for you Viktor. I just don't know if I can do it."

"You're a strong woman." He said so matter of fact it was almost had to not believe him.

"I don't feel strong." And I didn't, I felt weak and pathetic that I couldn't put it behind me.

"If you love him like you say you do, herm-own-ninny it will come."

He puts his hand on my shoulder hand I lean in and hug him. Who knew it would take Viktor to start making me feel better about this situation.

After that we talk of other things I ask about Ivana and the baby and he asks about my travels after leaving him. We fall into an easy conversation I have truly missed with him.

DRACO

I'm pacing when Elayna arrives to go over our plan one last time. My nerves are getting more on edge the closer it gets. What if it all went all went? What if Padma realized something was wasn't right? What if I never found my answers?

I voiced my concerns to Elayna when she finally stopped my pacing.

"Calm down Draco." She had her hands on my shoulders looking up at me sympathetically. "Everything will go as planned."

"You're right." I say shaking myself. If I turn up like this Padma will know something is wrong. I need to calm myself.

I finally look at Elayna properly to fins she's already dressed as a medi-witch.

"Ok you look good." I smile feeling slightly better with how convincing she looks.

"The French uniform is much nicer." She says as she smooths out her skirt.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask pointedly. If she isn't prepared it would all fall apart. Her act was the most important part.

"Of course I am." She says turning her nose up in the air as if I'd insulted her. "I just need the polyjuice potion."

"Yes I'll get it." I dash to the bedroom to where I had hid the polyjuice potion Harry had given me yesterday and brought it back out. "Where did you get the hair?"

"Some unsuspecting muggle in the park." She said taking the bottle from me. "I just used a summoning charm."

I check the time. I have to go to Padma soon the appointment is in ten minutes. My palms are suddenly sweaty. I look at Elayna and her face softens.

"Let's get this done, shall we?"

"Ok." I nod and hand her my wand which she will need as the charm can only work if the prospective fathers.

"Remember." She says handing me hers. "It glows gold the baby is yours, if it glows black…"

"It's not." I finish or her.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this Draco." She says taking me into a hug.

"I know." I whisper as I hug her back taking what comfort I can.

I pull away and make my way to the fire place. As I step into the flames I catch a glimpse of Elayna adding the hairs to the bottle and grimacing at the change. As soon as I've said the address I begin to spin and see the other fireplaces rush past before coming to a stop at Padma's.

"Where have you been? Your almost late." This is the way Padma greets me.

"Why is the midwife here already?" I ask knowing full well they aren't.

"No." She says looking at me obviously angry or upset over something. "Dust yourself off they will be here any second."

I do as I'm told and start to pat the ash away as Padma moves around straitening the room. Just as I finish there is a knock at the door and my stomach gives a small flip.

I straighten myself up as Padma rushes to the door. I don't know what's wrong with her, what's making her so on edge but I don't plan on making it worse. At least not right now.

"I'm sorry." I hear Padma say from the door way. "What's your name? I've never seen you before."

"It's Clara." I hear the reply as they walk into the room. "Your usual midwife is sick today I'm just covering."

I hold out my hand to the woman I know to be Elayna. I'm impressed she chose well. "Draco Malfoy."

"And your dad?" she asks shaking my hand in return.

"That's me." I say but what I'm really thinking is who the hell knows.

"Ok mum" Elayna says. "Why don't you take a seat and we'll go through some basics ok?"

Padma sits and I listen as Elayna asks some basic questions. I'm amazed at how good she is at this. I know I shouldn't be. She told me this was her best rotation when she was training. This last about fifteen minutes and I almost forget what I'm actually there for.

"Right then." Elayna pronounces bringing me out of the small stupor id fallen into. "Let's see how baby is getting on shall we?"

My pulse quickens and I think I stop breathing. We had decided that she would do some charms that Padma would recognize. Small things like hearing the heartbeat. Then she would do the paternity charm.

Elayna gives me a quick glance which I take for get ready. I watch her as she waves her wand in a fairly complicated way over the baby. I see Padma's face change slightly to confusion having not seen this charm before but before she can say anything my wand glows and I have my answer.


	29. Chapter 29

DRACO

I can't believe what I'm seeing. It all seems to go in slow motion from there. So many things going through my head. So many emotions I don't know which one is more pronounced there is too many to process.

I look over at Elayna and she is just looking at me evidently just as shocked as I am. Slowly my brain kicks in and I hear Padma.

"Hello can somebody please explain what just happened?" I look over to her and suddenly one emotion rushes to the surface, anger.

"How could you do this to me?" I say slowly trying to rain in my anger.

"Do what?" Although I see a flash of panic in her eyes.

"Tell me this baby is mine when it isn't?" The wand had glown unmistakably black.

"She is yours." Her answer was weak.

"That was a paternity charm Padma." I watch as her lip trembles. "No more lies."

I watch as she puts her face in her hands and her shoulders shake with silent sobs. I feel no sympathy for her right now. I just want answers. I need answers. I don't comfort her and neither does Elayna although she looks as if she wants to. I wouldn't stop her if she did. I'm not heartless unlike the woman sitting before me. I know this isn't true as I think it but I'm so angry right now I'm hardly thinking straight. She had almost ruined everything for me. I let her cry for a minute before it gets too much and I need my answers.

"Tell me why Padma." I say.

Her sobs start to subside a little as she tries to get herself together. Elayna conjures a box of tissues and passes them to Padma. She wipes her eyes and nose. She doesn't look at me. The opposite of me, all my attention is on her.

"Where should I start from?" She says in a small voice.

"How about when you decided to lie to me." I can put most of it together for myself.

"The real father wants nothing to do with us." This I guessed. She closes her eyes and more tears flow. "I didn't know what to do. He threatened to curse me and chased me away."

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Please don't make me tell you."

"Fine." Although my curiosity did peak it was not high on my priority list right now. "When did you decide to say she was mine?"

I watched her take a deep breath as she stared at her hands playing with her tissue. "I came home after the tournament and told my parents. I had to, I was starting to show and they needed to know. When they asked who the father was I told them I hadn't told them about the baby yet and I didn't want to tell them until I had told him."

I was silent while I listened every muscle in my body tense. "I was in the garden one day crying and trying to think about how I could get out of this mess when…when.."

"When what?" I snapped I couldn't help it. I just needed her to hurry up.

"When Narcissa came to visit." She finished still not looking at me.

"Narcissa? As in my mother Narcissa?" I shift my feet as I'm hit with the shock.

Padma's tears come thick and fast again. "I confessed to her that the father wanted nothing to do with us and I didn't know what to do. It was her I idea to say the baby was yours. She had heard we had slept together." The words rushed out of her mouth.

I don't know what to say, what to do. My own mother had been the one to almost ruin my happiness, my life. "Why?" I whisper but she hears me.

"She needed your father's money." She sniffs and wipes her face again. "There is no Black money left. It's all gone."

"What? How?" this seemed impossible to me. How was it possible my mother had spent all the Black fortune?

"Your mother said it had all been passed to male heirs and what little she had is gone. She even had a little rant about how Harry Potter even had a share of the Black fortune because of Sirius. But if you would fulfil your fathers will all the Malfoy money would be released and she would be able to access it."

I find the nearest chair and sink into it. This can't be happening. I look at Elayna, only just noticing she had changed back to herself, who looks as shocked as I feel. "What was in this for you?"

"She said she would get two things out of this hopefully. She was hoping you would marry me because of the baby. That way she would get the money and still have her reputation saved because you would have married a pureblood." She took a deep breath. "I would get a father for my child and money to raise them with."

"She was hoping I'd leave Hermione?" Padma nodded. I ran my hands though my hair trying to process all this. "Did no one stop to think about me in this equation?"

I stood up again, anger rising once again. I begin to pace needing to move.

"Narcissa said she believed you would do the right thing and leave her to be with the mother of your child." Padma finally looked up at me. "I've been thinking about telling you over the last few weeks. I just didn't know how."

"Shit Padma!" I kneel down in front of her looking into her face. "I nearly lost everything. I nearly lost Hermione." A tear runs down my face. "and... and today I feel like I lost a child."

And I did. I had nearly lost everything. But the worst part was in a way I had lost a daughter. A daughter that on some level I was looking forward to. I might have had everything I thought I wanted, but I still lost something.

"I'm so sorry Draco." Padma sobs. "I know it was a mistake, but I didn't know what else to do. Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you." I say because I don't. I understand why she did it she wanted someone to make a home for her child and my mother can be very persuasive.

I stood up slowly and sat back down, head in my hands. As if finding out the baby wasn't mine I had to decide how I would deal with my mother. My own mother. I'm not sure I know which is worse, no baby or a mother who betrayed me.

"Draco." Elaynas voice travels through the haze. "Draco." I look up at her not really seeing clearly. "Are you OK?"

I don't answer because I don't know if I am or not. "I need to see my mother." I say instead.

"I think that should wait Draco." Elayna says concern written all over face. "You should sleep on it see how you want to approach it tomorrow."

I know she's right, deep down I know that's what I should do, but I don't want to sleep on it. I don't want to go in with a clear head. I want my mother to know exactly how much she's hurt me, how angry I am. I don't care that I might hurt her.

"I want to see her now." I say standing.

"Draco that really isn't a good idea." Elayna said I can hear the pleading in her voice. "Please."

I look over at Padma. Her tear stained face and her hand on her belly looking up at us nervously. I should hate her but I don't. I don't feel anything for her. "OK. I just need to leave." I say turning back to Elayna.

"Then let's go." She says taking my hand and leading me to the door. I don't even look back at Padma before I close the door behind me. I lean against it taking a breath. Had that really just happened? And how do I begin to process it?

"Where do you want to go Draco?" Elayna asks. I look up at her. There is only one place I want to go now.

"Home."

When I get there Hermione is asleep on the couch. How late am I? I check the time and it isn't even seven yet. That's OK. I don't know if I can talk to her yet anyway. I watched him her sleep for a minute wondering if what I found out today will actually make things better between us. I hope so because I lost something today and it hurts.

I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. I lay her on the bed and climb in behind her. She stars slightly but I hush her and she falls back asleep. It surprises me how fast I follow suit after I pull her in to my arms but I fall quickly into a dreamless sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N- I want to apologise for the wait on this last chapter I had major writers block and couldn't think how to get this last bit finished I hope you like it and thanks for reading.

Hermione woke to darkness a slight glow illuminating the person opposite her. Draco. She can't believe she fell asleep she was only meant to lay down the alcohol she had at lunch had gone to her head. She looked at Draco opposite her his face glowing in the moonlight. He was fully clothed too. He looked peaceful, almost happy much more than he has been in the past few months. Guilt rushed through her at how she had been. She reached over and put her hand to his cheek taking him in.

Hermione pulled away he finally opened his eyes. Draco thought Hermione looked beautiful as the moonlight washed over her.

"Hey there." Hermione whispered her hand still on his cheek.

"Hi." Draco's voice sounded rough his throat dry. He cleared his throat. "What time is it?"

Hermione leaned away and checked the clock. "4.30." She grimaced.

"Wow. I haven't slept like that for months." He realised he must have had a good eight, nine hours.

Draco looked over at Hermione and had a newfound affection for her. Would any other girl have stuck next to him with the shit he had brought to her door? "I love you." He told her.

She smiled back at him. "I love you too." She leaned in and kissed him.

Draco stopped her before it went further. He needed to tell her what had happened. He answered the unspoken question in her eyes. "I need to tell you something."

Dread quickly filled Hermione when had that sentence been followed by something good? "Ok" she whispered.

"Well you know that Padma had the midwife appointment today?" He waited for her nod of acknowledgement before carrying on. "Well it wasn't a real appointment."

He saw the confusion on her face. He took a deep breath and told her everything. About the Malfoy curse, about his mother's proposal to Padma, about how the baby wasn't his, about the real father wanting nothing to do with Padma or the baby and about his mother was doing all this for money.

"Oh my god Draco!" Hermione couldn't believe what she had just been told. How could anyone do something like this let alone his own mother? She took in Draco who had tears in his eyes. This man in front of her had been through nothing but hell since his childhood.

"I don't know what's worse my mother betraying me like this or the relief at finding out the baby isn't mine. I feel awful."

"You shouldn't. I'm sure your feelings are natural Draco." Sudden anger filled Hermione. "It's those two who should feel awful. How could they do this? How could your own mother?"

Draco sighed. The worst thing is he had felt for a while that his mother must be up to something. She always is. Everything has to be best for her. It's how she had got so far in life, manipulating things. At least he always knew what his father was up to he could never hide it.

"What are you going to do?" Hermione asked.

"I'll have to confront my mother." He couldn't hide from this he had to sort this out head on. "I don't know what I'll say or do, but I have to talk to her. Sooner the better."

"I'm sorry you have to do this Draco. Do you want me with you when you go?" She would be there if he needed her to be.

"Thanks but this is something I have to do alone."

DRACO

I'm stood outside my mother's place gathering my courage. There was no coming back from what she had done. I'd lost both my parents now. I have spent most of my day yesterday with Padma and Elayna trying and not really succeeding in trying to straighten my head. I just know I need to get this confrontation over with and move on with my life.

It takes her a second to answer the door and when she does she seems slightly shocked. Clearly Padma had not warned her.

"Draco, come in." She smiles at me and I think it's genuine. "What do I owe the pleasure? I do hope the other day in the restaurant didn't upset you too much."

I'd forgotten about that. "No mother. This is about something else."

I walk into the living room and stand staring into the fireplace as she sits down. "I haven't heard from Padma. She told me she had a midwife appointment yesterday. Where you there? How did it go?"

"I was there. It was very interesting actually mother." I turned to her and she smiled waiting expectantly. "Everything is ok with the baby."

"That's excellent news. Not long now." She actually seemed to be excited.

"We did find out a few things though." I cross my arms. "Things that will change everything."

"You said the baby was ok." The concern that shows in her face makes my stomach turn slightly and I turn away from her unable to look at her. The concern she seems to be showing for a baby she ultimately knows isn't mine.

"Yes, but she isn't mine mother." I chance glance at her and her face has fallen.

"What do you mean?" She asks almost in a whisper.

"You see there is this thing in our family history I was unaware of till recently." I look straight at her needing to see her reaction now. "The Malfoy curse. All first borns in the Malfoy family will be boys. It is something, I think, you're aware of."

She's silent and I can see her trying to think of something to say. Nothing will help whatever she says. Then quickly her face changes form the concern she had shown to a sneer. "You think I was going to let you throw your life away for that mud blood whore? I don't think so. The Patils are a very well respected pure blood family. Poor Padma had gotten herself into a situation and I had one of my own. Two birds one stone as they say."

"How could you do this to me?" Anger raced through me. "I'm your son." I'm shouting now but I don't care.

"Yes and it is why I did what I did." She said with such an air of superiority I had to stop myself from hexing her.

"It had nothing to do with the money I suppose? I hear that you're broke, you've spent everything."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I run my hands through my hair in pure frustration even when she had been caught out she still couldn't tell the truth.

"I'm saying you have spent the Black fortune that you had, that you have no access to father's money. Only me fulfilling his will would give you access to the vault."

I watched as she stood and brushed imaginary dust from her skirt. "Draco I really think you should calm down."

"Calm down? I just found out my mother has been plotting behind my back just to get her hands on money I don't even have yet. My mother who is supposed to want me to be happy, is meant to do what's best for me."

"I was doing what's best for you Draco. You can't tell me you truly love this mudblood, really, I raised you better." She had a look of amusement on her face.

"I do love her." My mother shot me a look of shock, how could she not have seen this. "I love her more than anything. She's what has kept me going these past few months when I've felt like my world has been spinning out of control. It hasn't been easy, far from it. What we have we've worked for, we've fought for. Nothing is going to change that mother. She is what makes me happy."

She looks at me now, like she's seeing me properly for the first time. Something clearly racing through her mind. "You've grown into a man I never thought you would be." I think then she has recognised that I'm a better man than she ever thought I could be, all because of Hermione. "I'm so disappointed in you Draco."

Shock runs through actually I think shock is an understatement, I'm dumbfounded. How could she say that to me?

"I raised you to recognise the power and superiority of pureblood. I brought you up to realize nothing but carrying on a pureblood line will do in this family. How could you want to taint it so?"

My mouth moves but no sound comes out. How do I respond to a statement like this? My mind is racing.

"I'm sure if you gave Padma a proper chance you would see what a match you make and how much better things would be if you were to marry Padma and raise this child as your own. I'm sure after a while you'd have a little boy and everything would be fine."

"No, no it wouldn't mother." I've found my voice but I still have no idea how to respond.

"Stop acting like a child Draco."

"I am not acting like a child. I'm acting like a grown man." This is it now something snaps. "I've had to act like a grown man since my parents disowned me. I had to fend for myself I had to find my own path. Any other parent would be happy of the man I've become. It might sound big headed but I've fought for everything I've got. I've fought through all of the prejudice you and father put on me. I've found solid friendships. People I can count on. And most of all I've found a woman I love with every ounce of my being. And she's amazing and you're the one that's missing out."

I'm panting now running out of breath as I rush out all my feelings. "Today I lost my mother. I've now lost both of my parents because I no longer want anything to do with you."

As I turn and walk out of the door I hear her calling me but I don't turn around I carry on walking, I disaparate as soon as I can.

8888888

When Draco arrived home Hermione was waiting for him in the living room, still in her pyjamas. She was beautiful to him no matter what. When she saw him she put down her book and waited for him to join her.

Draco sits next her and takes her in. as long as she was next to him he felt he could get through anything. He sat and recounted everything for her and Hermione sat and listened with a tear I her eye for the loss of her boyfriend, she might not have liked Narcissa much but at the end of the day she was still Draco's mother.

With everything Draco had been through the last couple days more than anything there was something else he had to confront too. "Hermione, what about us? What do you want?" He saw her about to say something and stopped her. "I need to know. I can't keep going up and down with us. I have to know what you want." He needed to know she would be there now, his heart couldn't cope with anymore up and down.

Hermione looked at him for a second before answering. "I want what I wanted when we first got together. I want you to want me and for me to want you. I want us to want each other. For us to miss each other when we aren't together, for us to raise a family together, to grow old together. I want to forget all this crap we've been through and I want us to move on. I want it to better than it was before."

"Well I think we can try that. It will take work but if we both want it I know we can." He kissed her and she kissed him back. "Let's start over, be us and fuck everyone else."

"Fuck everyone else." Hermione laughed.

Draco laughed with her. Feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a very long time. He kissed her and was almost content, apart from his mother his life was taking a turn for the best.

Hermione felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from her. She actually felt they would actually be able to move forward with their lives together.


End file.
